Not a bad weekend fellas. Good football games on the Sunday Ticket, last week without any bye's and not a stinker in the 666 league - all the match ups were tight. This was the most competitive weekend I can remember. Before we get on with the SMACK, lets deal with the most important issue facing our nation this week. The mosque "near" ground zero? The decline in consumer confidence? China's reluctance to devalue its currency? No. The issue of the week hits much closer to home than any of those - should the Packers have let the Bears score a TD on MNF to get the ball back? That is the issue we will be arguing about for hours this week, and the answer is obvious - NO. This is football. This is pride. This is about honor. If the only way the Packers could win was to let the hated Bears score on purpose, then they should lose. The game of football isn't just about winning a game. It's not just about the Packers or the Bears. Those twenty-two warriors out on the field are playing for more than themselves, their families and their team. They are playing for us. The fan. They are playing for - Me. If the Pack had let Chicago score and then gone down and scored I would have lost my bet on the under. Now that's a good reason........
And the Bitch Slap is................not much of a slap
You know its a good weekend of football when this match up was the most one sided in the league. There really wasn't much more OldSkoolers could have done. Sure, he could have started Flacco over McNabb, but we all would have made fun of him if he had. He got a ridiculous 25 points from CJ Spiller, an equally unexpected 20 points from Maclin and McNabb had an OK game with 15. Add in the rest of his team and Oldskoolers was just shy of the century mark. Normally a good chance at a W, but not this week. Ballblokes didn't win this with his QB. Eli Manning seems to be slowly regressing back to high school - for one play there he even forgot he was right handed. Blokes running back Mathews didn't even play. Nope, blokes got all his points the hard way. Boldin scores 35+ catching balls from Flacco. Jackson scores 22 catching balls from Vick. Miller caught one from some Polish dude, and, old man Ward caught one from Charlie Batch. Yep - this really happened. I couldn't make this crap up if I tried. Flacco, Vick, Batch. Wow. Even with all that, Skoolers still had a shot on Monday night with Jennings. He teased you a bit, but it was over before the game started. Final score-----------------Ballblokes 127 defeats Oldskoolers 99.
This was a really close game..................................NOT
I was watchin this matchup all weekend. Morning Missles finally got a decent game from Romo, but the rest of his squad was average at best. No major disappointments, but no major breakouts either. MJD continues to struggle, Wes Welker scored most of his TD's for the season in the first two games and looks to have reverted to his normal role. Not a great week for Morning, but not bad either. It would all come down to the MNF game. Death Panels actually got positive points from FAVra - with current trends Bret should bust into double digits after the bye - and his super stud Gates continues to play like the best TE in Pro ball. The rest of his team was kinda blah on Sunday, but he still had two players going into Monday night. He had the Green bay Defense - which had the potential to have a monster game against da Bears, and he had Sushi playin for the Chicago. Now Aromashodu (aka Sushi) didn't score a point last week but the Commish won and I never looked him up. So, during the game, I looked up Aromashodu and it turns out he wasn't playing. In fact, if you look him up now you get the following quote - "Sushi (aka Aromashodu) is pretty much a dead fantasy roster spot right now". Really? I wouldn't have guessed it. To make matters worse, Mr. Commish left some loser named Williams of the Cowboys on the bench. 26 points. Ooops. Green bay could have gotten credit for all 18 interceptions they gave back last night and you still would have lost. Start Williams over Sushi and you win. Say thank you Carter, and I say penalty to the Commish. Final---------------Mighty Missles 93 spanks Death Panels 73.
And Boof Licks goes......................................................Boof
Boof Licks was getting pretty cocky. He had two dominating wins going into this week, was tied for the lead in wins and on top in points. He got last weeks manager of the week award. Boof was rollin. And talkin smack. What a difference a week makes. This week Badgers showed the league the value of consistency. Consistent scoring. Badgers showed the league the value of balance. Balanced scoring. He lost a bit with Schaub but gained it back with Gaffney. Lost a bit with Arian but got it back from the Cinncy D. He was nice and balanced - no blow ups or blow offs. Boof had a good game from Brady, but made the mistake of starting Hightower over Mendenhal (BIG mistake) and Jones over Knox and then Jackson goes down with a groin. Still, it was too close to call going into the Sunday night game. Boof had the Miami defense which figured to score a bunch of points against the Jets. Sunday nights game was strange. Sanchez looked like a pro quarter back, sliced up the Dolphins D and what should have been a defensive struggle was a good football game. No way anybody would have predicted a 1 point performance from Miami against the Jets. So, going into the Monday night game Badgers had an eight point lead with Finley and Jackson versus Forte for Boof. It was pretty apparent after the first quarter that Boof was toast. Finley had a good game (could have been a GREAT game) and knocks out McGregor. Boof Licks would have won with Mendenhal and Knox starting - but being manager of the week only lasts a week. Final score-------Badgers 100 licks Boof Licks 81.
Sometimes prayers are answered.....................
Had kind of a rough weekend, so I sat back in my recliner and watched football all Sunday. As the smack writer I try to pay attention to all the matchups, but must confess that I watch my game with more intensity. This was an intense week. MeSoHorny had a good start in the morning games. Brees did well with 28, Gonzalles had another great game with 17, Charles had a sneaky good game with 15 and Barber stole points from Felix Jones. Add it up and Horny had a nice lead going into the Colts game. I had a lot of talent riding on that game, and almost decided to sit Collie after his monster game last week, but figured with Garcon out I would roll the dice. Slow start for the Colts, and it didn't look good for MacAttack, and then - boom, Manning to Collie. A two fer! Collie had an unbelievable game, Addai didn't and Manning was looking average at best late. I was looking at the scores and thinking I needed another TD from Manning when - Boom, another two fer! That vaulted me to a small lead going into the Jets game (8 pts). All I had left was LT. Horny had Crosby and Driver on Monday night. As the Jet game went on, LT was having an OK game, but it didn't look good for a score. I figured I had about a 14 pt cushion when the pass interference was called in the endzone. Four new downs, not much time left and I was thinkin........TOUCH DOWN LT. That was cool. Another football prayer answered. But Horny was still in the drivers seat. Granted, he needed a big game from Driver and a few Field goals from Crosby, but 23 points was very possible. MeSoHorny made a dent, but never really had me sweating during the MNF game - but it was still a ball. Not to spread salt in the wound Horny - but if you would have used your head and started THE Leon Washington in place of Tolbert you would a crushed me....Final -- MacAttack 123 over MeSoHorny 111.
The closest game of the week.....................that didn't go to MNF.
Hats off. Everyone give these guys a round of applause. If you were paying attention at all you know what I am gushing about. If you didn't you missed one heck of a match up. I enjoyed the hell out of it. Red Dragons opens with a great game from #1 pick Chris Johnson, only to be topped by Hemmerhoids #2 pick Adrian Peterson. Dragons throws back Rivers but is again topped by that dog killer Vick. Rhoids, sensing weakness throws a vicious Cedric Benson, which Dragons counters with a solid Santana Moss. Dragons is backing up and Rhoids hits him with a straight up Dexter McCluster. Down goes Dragons, and the refs almost call him out, but he gets up before the count and tries to focus. Blood streaming down his face he lands a viscious Dustin Keller, a right handed sack on Henning, a left handed pick and then boom-boom, a devastating Dustin Kellers to the jaw. Rhoids stumbles backward, stunned and confused and looks ready to fall but throws a wild Miami score. Then another. Then Marshal stumbling down the sidelines to set up yet another and the fight was over. At one point, I think it was the second quarter, Red Dragons had pulled to a one point lead, and then had to watch the Jets defense give it all back. The Jets defense??? Against Miami???? I had all ready penciled in the W for Dragons. This one will be an instant classic on ESPN. Oh - just so you know Red - if you had started McFadden over Forsett you woulda won easy!. Bottom line is Red Dragons stays perfect, losing to Hemmerhoids 130.39 to 125.80.
Another reason you don't let Chicago Score............................just not as good a reason
It was pre-ordained. There was never a doubt. Bloodypulp rides Kyle Orton 24, Hillis (looks like a linebacker) 24, Moss 16, Bradshaw 16 and the San Diego defense to a 40 plus point lead going into the Sunday night game. His job is done. His work is complete. Now he can sit down and enjoy watching Acid try to come back with all of two players. Thrombic first has Brandon Marshall playing against the best damn defense in the world, the NY Jets. Figure he gets, what, 10 points if he is lucky. But wait. The Jets defense is so stunned by the Jets offense that they forget to play the game, and Brandon explodes for 166 yards and one TD (damn near got two) and cuts the lead by more than half. Brings it down to Cutler. Cutler needs 20ish to pull out the win for Acid. Like I said. Pre-ordained. Ya'all watched the Monday night game right? How many picks did Cutler throw that were negated by penalties - holding, helmet to the head, pass interference. Hell, it was obvious. Cutler was destined to score points not give them back. Then comes the fourth quarter. Green Bay manages to fumble the ball six inches from the side lines and it doesn't go out - it gets picked up by da Bears. Thrombic is down by less than six. We all know what was going to happen. Cutler scores a TD and Thrombic pulls out the win. I was even more sure of it when the Bears had goal to go with under two minutes and the Packers only had two time outs. The talking heads were saying let em score. Put the ball back in Rodgers hands. The only way the Pack was going to win. If Chicago was thinking the same way - the safest play would be QB sneak, unopposed. But, because it would just not be right. Not be football. Not be the honorable thing to do, Green Bay made the stand, held the bears to a FG and lost. Just like Thrombic Acid! Oh - just so you know Bingman, if you had started Beanie Wells instead of Fred Taylor you would have won. Final-----Bloodypulp slams Thrombic Acid 106.14 to 101.54.
So, three weeks in the record books. There is one undefeated team (MacAttack!) and one team still looking for their first win (MeSoHorny). Red Dragon leads the league in points but is a paltry 1-2. If you didn't catch the theme, I thought it was very interesting that, with one exception, every losing team could have changed the outcome by making different decisions on who to start. I am sure Boof Lick thought long and hard before sitting Mendenhall, but sit him he did. I almost sat Collie - which would have doomed me. The Commish could have won if only he had seen (or sensed) that Sushi was starting to smell bad. Now we get into the meat of the season. The byes start next weekend. Have you figured out how to cover? Morning Missles has - he picked up his backup QB on Sunday (couldn't you do better than Bradford?). Haven't seen any trade activity out there - I have to believe somebody has somethin? So far its been a great season, and its good to see Thrombic Acid actively managing! To close - you guys should be happy I have a nice butt, because thats all your gonna see the rest of the season....
Squiggy
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