Not a bad weekend fellas. Good football games on the Sunday Ticket, last week without any bye's and not a stinker in the 666 league - all the match ups were tight. This was the most competitive weekend I can remember. Before we get on with the SMACK, lets deal with the most important issue facing our nation this week. The mosque "near" ground zero? The decline in consumer confidence? China's reluctance to devalue its currency? No. The issue of the week hits much closer to home than any of those - should the Packers have let the Bears score a TD on MNF to get the ball back? That is the issue we will be arguing about for hours this week, and the answer is obvious - NO. This is football. This is pride. This is about honor. If the only way the Packers could win was to let the hated Bears score on purpose, then they should lose. The game of football isn't just about winning a game. It's not just about the Packers or the Bears. Those twenty-two warriors out on the field are playing for more than themselves, their families and their team. They are playing for us. The fan. They are playing for - Me. If the Pack had let Chicago score and then gone down and scored I would have lost my bet on the under. Now that's a good reason........
And the Bitch Slap is................not much of a slap
You know its a good weekend of football when this match up was the most one sided in the league. There really wasn't much more OldSkoolers could have done. Sure, he could have started Flacco over McNabb, but we all would have made fun of him if he had. He got a ridiculous 25 points from CJ Spiller, an equally unexpected 20 points from Maclin and McNabb had an OK game with 15. Add in the rest of his team and Oldskoolers was just shy of the century mark. Normally a good chance at a W, but not this week. Ballblokes didn't win this with his QB. Eli Manning seems to be slowly regressing back to high school - for one play there he even forgot he was right handed. Blokes running back Mathews didn't even play. Nope, blokes got all his points the hard way. Boldin scores 35+ catching balls from Flacco. Jackson scores 22 catching balls from Vick. Miller caught one from some Polish dude, and, old man Ward caught one from Charlie Batch. Yep - this really happened. I couldn't make this crap up if I tried. Flacco, Vick, Batch. Wow. Even with all that, Skoolers still had a shot on Monday night with Jennings. He teased you a bit, but it was over before the game started. Final score-----------------Ballblokes 127 defeats Oldskoolers 99.
This was a really close game..................................NOT
I was watchin this matchup all weekend. Morning Missles finally got a decent game from Romo, but the rest of his squad was average at best. No major disappointments, but no major breakouts either. MJD continues to struggle, Wes Welker scored most of his TD's for the season in the first two games and looks to have reverted to his normal role. Not a great week for Morning, but not bad either. It would all come down to the MNF game. Death Panels actually got positive points from FAVra - with current trends Bret should bust into double digits after the bye - and his super stud Gates continues to play like the best TE in Pro ball. The rest of his team was kinda blah on Sunday, but he still had two players going into Monday night. He had the Green bay Defense - which had the potential to have a monster game against da Bears, and he had Sushi playin for the Chicago. Now Aromashodu (aka Sushi) didn't score a point last week but the Commish won and I never looked him up. So, during the game, I looked up Aromashodu and it turns out he wasn't playing. In fact, if you look him up now you get the following quote - "Sushi (aka Aromashodu) is pretty much a dead fantasy roster spot right now". Really? I wouldn't have guessed it. To make matters worse, Mr. Commish left some loser named Williams of the Cowboys on the bench. 26 points. Ooops. Green bay could have gotten credit for all 18 interceptions they gave back last night and you still would have lost. Start Williams over Sushi and you win. Say thank you Carter, and I say penalty to the Commish. Final---------------Mighty Missles 93 spanks Death Panels 73.
And Boof Licks goes......................................................Boof
Boof Licks was getting pretty cocky. He had two dominating wins going into this week, was tied for the lead in wins and on top in points. He got last weeks manager of the week award. Boof was rollin. And talkin smack. What a difference a week makes. This week Badgers showed the league the value of consistency. Consistent scoring. Badgers showed the league the value of balance. Balanced scoring. He lost a bit with Schaub but gained it back with Gaffney. Lost a bit with Arian but got it back from the Cinncy D. He was nice and balanced - no blow ups or blow offs. Boof had a good game from Brady, but made the mistake of starting Hightower over Mendenhal (BIG mistake) and Jones over Knox and then Jackson goes down with a groin. Still, it was too close to call going into the Sunday night game. Boof had the Miami defense which figured to score a bunch of points against the Jets. Sunday nights game was strange. Sanchez looked like a pro quarter back, sliced up the Dolphins D and what should have been a defensive struggle was a good football game. No way anybody would have predicted a 1 point performance from Miami against the Jets. So, going into the Monday night game Badgers had an eight point lead with Finley and Jackson versus Forte for Boof. It was pretty apparent after the first quarter that Boof was toast. Finley had a good game (could have been a GREAT game) and knocks out McGregor. Boof Licks would have won with Mendenhal and Knox starting - but being manager of the week only lasts a week. Final score-------Badgers 100 licks Boof Licks 81.
Sometimes prayers are answered.....................
Had kind of a rough weekend, so I sat back in my recliner and watched football all Sunday. As the smack writer I try to pay attention to all the matchups, but must confess that I watch my game with more intensity. This was an intense week. MeSoHorny had a good start in the morning games. Brees did well with 28, Gonzalles had another great game with 17, Charles had a sneaky good game with 15 and Barber stole points from Felix Jones. Add it up and Horny had a nice lead going into the Colts game. I had a lot of talent riding on that game, and almost decided to sit Collie after his monster game last week, but figured with Garcon out I would roll the dice. Slow start for the Colts, and it didn't look good for MacAttack, and then - boom, Manning to Collie. A two fer! Collie had an unbelievable game, Addai didn't and Manning was looking average at best late. I was looking at the scores and thinking I needed another TD from Manning when - Boom, another two fer! That vaulted me to a small lead going into the Jets game (8 pts). All I had left was LT. Horny had Crosby and Driver on Monday night. As the Jet game went on, LT was having an OK game, but it didn't look good for a score. I figured I had about a 14 pt cushion when the pass interference was called in the endzone. Four new downs, not much time left and I was thinkin........TOUCH DOWN LT. That was cool. Another football prayer answered. But Horny was still in the drivers seat. Granted, he needed a big game from Driver and a few Field goals from Crosby, but 23 points was very possible. MeSoHorny made a dent, but never really had me sweating during the MNF game - but it was still a ball. Not to spread salt in the wound Horny - but if you would have used your head and started THE Leon Washington in place of Tolbert you would a crushed me....Final -- MacAttack 123 over MeSoHorny 111.
The closest game of the week.....................that didn't go to MNF.
Hats off. Everyone give these guys a round of applause. If you were paying attention at all you know what I am gushing about. If you didn't you missed one heck of a match up. I enjoyed the hell out of it. Red Dragons opens with a great game from #1 pick Chris Johnson, only to be topped by Hemmerhoids #2 pick Adrian Peterson. Dragons throws back Rivers but is again topped by that dog killer Vick. Rhoids, sensing weakness throws a vicious Cedric Benson, which Dragons counters with a solid Santana Moss. Dragons is backing up and Rhoids hits him with a straight up Dexter McCluster. Down goes Dragons, and the refs almost call him out, but he gets up before the count and tries to focus. Blood streaming down his face he lands a viscious Dustin Keller, a right handed sack on Henning, a left handed pick and then boom-boom, a devastating Dustin Kellers to the jaw. Rhoids stumbles backward, stunned and confused and looks ready to fall but throws a wild Miami score. Then another. Then Marshal stumbling down the sidelines to set up yet another and the fight was over. At one point, I think it was the second quarter, Red Dragons had pulled to a one point lead, and then had to watch the Jets defense give it all back. The Jets defense??? Against Miami???? I had all ready penciled in the W for Dragons. This one will be an instant classic on ESPN. Oh - just so you know Red - if you had started McFadden over Forsett you woulda won easy!. Bottom line is Red Dragons stays perfect, losing to Hemmerhoids 130.39 to 125.80.
Another reason you don't let Chicago Score............................just not as good a reason
It was pre-ordained. There was never a doubt. Bloodypulp rides Kyle Orton 24, Hillis (looks like a linebacker) 24, Moss 16, Bradshaw 16 and the San Diego defense to a 40 plus point lead going into the Sunday night game. His job is done. His work is complete. Now he can sit down and enjoy watching Acid try to come back with all of two players. Thrombic first has Brandon Marshall playing against the best damn defense in the world, the NY Jets. Figure he gets, what, 10 points if he is lucky. But wait. The Jets defense is so stunned by the Jets offense that they forget to play the game, and Brandon explodes for 166 yards and one TD (damn near got two) and cuts the lead by more than half. Brings it down to Cutler. Cutler needs 20ish to pull out the win for Acid. Like I said. Pre-ordained. Ya'all watched the Monday night game right? How many picks did Cutler throw that were negated by penalties - holding, helmet to the head, pass interference. Hell, it was obvious. Cutler was destined to score points not give them back. Then comes the fourth quarter. Green Bay manages to fumble the ball six inches from the side lines and it doesn't go out - it gets picked up by da Bears. Thrombic is down by less than six. We all know what was going to happen. Cutler scores a TD and Thrombic pulls out the win. I was even more sure of it when the Bears had goal to go with under two minutes and the Packers only had two time outs. The talking heads were saying let em score. Put the ball back in Rodgers hands. The only way the Pack was going to win. If Chicago was thinking the same way - the safest play would be QB sneak, unopposed. But, because it would just not be right. Not be football. Not be the honorable thing to do, Green Bay made the stand, held the bears to a FG and lost. Just like Thrombic Acid! Oh - just so you know Bingman, if you had started Beanie Wells instead of Fred Taylor you would have won. Final-----Bloodypulp slams Thrombic Acid 106.14 to 101.54.
So, three weeks in the record books. There is one undefeated team (MacAttack!) and one team still looking for their first win (MeSoHorny). Red Dragon leads the league in points but is a paltry 1-2. If you didn't catch the theme, I thought it was very interesting that, with one exception, every losing team could have changed the outcome by making different decisions on who to start. I am sure Boof Lick thought long and hard before sitting Mendenhall, but sit him he did. I almost sat Collie - which would have doomed me. The Commish could have won if only he had seen (or sensed) that Sushi was starting to smell bad. Now we get into the meat of the season. The byes start next weekend. Have you figured out how to cover? Morning Missles has - he picked up his backup QB on Sunday (couldn't you do better than Bradford?). Haven't seen any trade activity out there - I have to believe somebody has somethin? So far its been a great season, and its good to see Thrombic Acid actively managing! To close - you guys should be happy I have a nice butt, because thats all your gonna see the rest of the season....
Squiggy
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Its early, but it's already late for some.
Another great week of NFL ball, and even though summer is just now officially over the weather in the great Northwest has definitely been football weather - like mid October football weather. Watched part of the Beav game in a pouring rain on Saturday and it felt more like winter than the first days of fall. But have no fear, the tomatoes are still ripening on the vine, the pumpkins are just starting to turn and warm weather is in the forecast. Not putting the golf clubs in the garage just yet. The season is still young and an 0 and 2 team can still make the playoffs, can still turn it around, can still win the whole enchilada. It will just be a bit more difficult than it looked two short Sundays ago. Does Dallas really suck, can FAVra bring back the Vikes, can the Lions possibly lose in a more heartbreaking style next week? Is Vick for real? Is Young a fraud? Does Singletarey need stronger meds? Which Colts team is for real - the losers against Houston, or the surgical unit that embarrassed the Giants? I have no answers. I only have SMACK.....
And the Bitch Slap is............
The best QB in football - gotta be Manning eh? The best running back in futbal - gotta be Chris Johnson right? Nope. Based on this week the best QB is Michael (my favorite place is the Humane society) Vick, and Jahvid (the Beavs knocked me silly last year) Best. Vick exploded this weekend against my poor Lions. Best followed up last weeks tremendous debut with an even better game and led Detroit to another ALMOST unbelievable comeback win. Couple those two with a solid game from Peterson (but if you can't score on four shots from the five are you REALLY that good?) and you have this weeks Bitch Slap. Hemorrhoids moves to 1-1 on the back of those performances and Ballblokes falls near the cellar. Blokes also scored in the Lions/Eagles game with DeSean Jackson, but nobody else on his team could back him up with points, even with the gift TD that Eli got at the end of the game. This really wasn't that bad of an ass whoopin, but a Bitch Slap it is none the less. Back to Cobb next week Rhoids???? Final score - Hemorrhoids 126 over Ballblokes 82.
Boof Wins, Boof Wins, Damn it all Boof WINS..........
This was going to be a close game in my book, and I actually thought Morning Missles had the slight advantage. Figured that Dallas and Romo had to play better than last week and that MJD would gash the LA (I mean Jacksonville) Jags. Romo did OK for a loser, but MJD did not live up to a #1 draft picks expectation. And to top it off, Boof did the improbable. Sure, he got lucky with a Manningham TD, and Jacoby Jones was better than expected in the Houston comeback win, but what won the day for Boof Licks was the manager. How many of you losers without a QB would have even dreamed of sitting Tom Brady down. I mean - Tom Brady. The best looking, best dressed, best chicked QB in football. Tom Brady is Joe Namath on steroids. By all accounts the gals that Tiger "dated" came from Brady's B list. On top of it all, Brady was talkin smack about the Jets. He hates the Jets. Him and Moss were gonna put a whoopin on the J....E...T...S, Jets, Jets Jets! And they did. For one drive. But Boof man KNEW that would happen. He figured that Matt Ryan would do the whoopin on the Arizona D. I think he let his wife make his roster for him this week, which is a good thing for Boof Licks, because it was Matt's 26 points that proved the difference in this game. Marks whole team did well, and Missles was let down by MJD and the pathetic Giants performance, but starting Ryan over Brady was brilliant. Final Score - Boof Licks 118 over Mighty Missles 94 vaults Boof to the league lead.
This should REALLY be the Bitch Slap of the week......
Drew Brees gets 23 points for Horny. Andre Johnson comes back from the locker room to make an incredible last second TD catch and gets 22 points for Horny (by the way - don't you think IV fluids, pain killers and BJ's in the locker room are PERFORMANCE enhancing???). MeSoHorny should win this easy after that right? Wait, it gets even better. Our dear Commish, Death Panels, gets a big goose egg from Aromashodu (which I thought was some kind of suishi), another big goose egg from TJ Houshmanzadeh (I love TJ, but his last name sounds like a brand of saki) and a grand total of ONE point from the old man FAVra. If you give Brett a one point penalty for lack of skill, you end up with enough goose eggs for a pretty nice goose egg omlete Commish. This should have been the most one sided game of the week, and it almost was. But Death Panels has connections the rest of us don't have. Sushi gets zero - McCoy gets 31, Saki gets zero - Gates goes for 18, FAVra gets 1 point - Clinton Portis gets 15. Add a dash of Roddy White, Rice and the Packers Defense all in double digits and you get an omelet of ass whoopin. I told you last week Commish, that if someone loses to a team that gets zero points from a non-injured starter a penalty is in order, but you didn't make the ruling. Instead, you doubled up and beat MeSoHorny with two starters gettin blanked. Still think it should be a penalty but the precedent has been set. MeSoHorny falls to O-fer, and Death Panels gets to .500 with a 106 to 86 victory.
This was much closer than it looks........
Following the lead of Death Panels, Badgers scores a total of FOUR points from his wide receivers. Four points. That is pathetic. He also has the Eagles kicker and only scores 5 points out of the 35 scored, because the Lions defense couldn't stop the Eagles long enough to make them kick a field goal! BloodyPulp overachieved with his no-name players. Take Moss and Smith out of BloodyPulps team and you don't have much left, so scoring over 100 points is pretty good. But Badgers had Les Schaub as his QB and he made up for last weeks disappointing performance with 36 points. He also had another solid game from that racist Aryan Foster - sorry, Arian, benefited from Jackson being the starter with Ryan out for the Pack and got a surprisingly strong game from the Bengals defense to take this game to Monday night. With a mere two points (or so) separating Bloody from Badgers it came down to Garrett Hartley versus Frank Gore. I thought that the Saints were going to kick the 49ers arse on Monday. I figured the 49ers had to suck bad after getting killed by the Hawks. I felt that even more after the Hawks got dismantled by the Broncos. If New Orleans gets a big lead that should take Gore out of the game right? Nope - instead Gore does the butt kickin and scores 29 points, which leads to a comfortable win for Badgers. Think of it as a moral victory Bloodypulp. Badgers gets to 1-1 and Bloody goes to the cellar with a 121 to 104 victory.
As they say on Broadway - Break a leg, but first.................
Score a touch down. Ouch. That was rude - even uncalled for. Even for Squiggy. But football is that kinda game. Red Dragons had strong games from Rivers, Miles (By God, I AM - Miles Austin) Austin and Knowshon. Even with a mere 3 points from the overall number ONE pick Chris Johnson, Dragons had a slim lead going into Monday nights game. Dragons was just shy of 100 points, which I said Thrombic Acid would not see again this season. But then I retracted that. Glad I did because a couple of miraculous things happened for Thrombic Acid, one of which I would have bet my first born I would not see - a roster change. Thats right boys and girls (and Bingo), Thrombic Acid made a ROSTER change. Not only that - he dropped a player, yep DROPPED A PLAYER (actually a defense) and added a player. Then remembered to start his new defense! The only thing that would shock me more is if the Dems and our Prez came out and endorsed Tax cuts and spending cuts - but lets not push it. The other miracle was the play of Jay Cutler against a pretty stout Cowboy defense. Cutler scored almost 30 points and led the Bears to the victory - watch out for Chicago if they have a QB who can play. Along with Cutler - Dallas Clark (best player on Thrombics team) and some guy named Thomas for the Broncos scored well for Acid and all he needed was 5 points from the combo of Meachem and Bush on Monday night to win. The bad thing about having players on the Saints offense is they have so much offense, so many players who can score, and the problem for Acid is Meachem and Bush are number 4 and 5 on the list of guys who score. To prove the point Meachem couldn't muster a single point on Monday. Didn't matter in the end because Reggie (still the only FORMER Heisman trophy winner) scored the first touchdown of the game and that was enough to push Acid to the victory. Then he broke his leg. Time for another roster mover Thrombic, and now we all know you know how to do it. I feel bad for Reggie - but he will be back before the season is over. Thrombic Acid stays undefeated while Red Dragons drops to mid pack at 1-1 with a 104 to 99 win.
The toilet bowl game, but still a squeaker..........
Kind of a bad week for Squiggy. My Beavers win, but the defense looks bad against a middlin Louisville team. The Lions get the onside kick and look like a lock for a OT - and throw four straight in completes to end the game. I take the Colts in the 4th Quarter and give up 1/2 a point for 10 bucks and then Choice fumbles while running out the clock and Eli throws a garbage time TD, so I lose. I have $20 on the Saints giving six points and they have an eight point lead against SF - with no time outs and the whole field to go - and give up a TD. My wife decides I have a gambling problem - but I bet her twenty bucks I won't gamble this weekend, so we are cool there. Anyway, only one really good thing happened this weekend regarding football, OldSkoolers actually bought into Vince Young and started him. He could have started McNab. If BoofLicks starting Ryan over Brady was the equivalent of hitting a grand slam, then OldSkoolers starting Young over McNab is the equivalent of getting a shard of a wood stuck in your chest after breaking your bat. Young got MINUS 2 points. But even that wasn't enough to insure a victory for MacAttack. Even with Manning, Addai and Collie scoring 48 points on Sunday afternoon I was still vulnerable to defeat because OldSkoolers still had the Saint defense playing on Monday night. The New Orleans defense may give up points, but they score them in buckets also. No defense scored more points than the Saints last year. And it came down to the bitter end of the game because of 4 turnovers and a safety. All Skoolers needed was a sack and an interception returned for a TD on the 49ers last drive to pull out the win. Would have won me 20 bucks, but lost me the game in the 666 league. I left a lot of points on the bench but I still kind of feel embarrassed winning this one. I'll get over it soon enough. MacAttack stays undefeated and Oldskoolers joins the six team group at 1-1 with a 73 to 62 ugly win.
One more week before the byes start. Check out your team and make sure you have plans for when your Studs are sitting it out. Check the injury report. Check the waiver wire. Check the police blotter. As BoofLicks and OldSkooler and even Thrombic Acid proved this weekend, how you manage your bench can be the difference between winning and losing.
Squiggy
And the Bitch Slap is............
The best QB in football - gotta be Manning eh? The best running back in futbal - gotta be Chris Johnson right? Nope. Based on this week the best QB is Michael (my favorite place is the Humane society) Vick, and Jahvid (the Beavs knocked me silly last year) Best. Vick exploded this weekend against my poor Lions. Best followed up last weeks tremendous debut with an even better game and led Detroit to another ALMOST unbelievable comeback win. Couple those two with a solid game from Peterson (but if you can't score on four shots from the five are you REALLY that good?) and you have this weeks Bitch Slap. Hemorrhoids moves to 1-1 on the back of those performances and Ballblokes falls near the cellar. Blokes also scored in the Lions/Eagles game with DeSean Jackson, but nobody else on his team could back him up with points, even with the gift TD that Eli got at the end of the game. This really wasn't that bad of an ass whoopin, but a Bitch Slap it is none the less. Back to Cobb next week Rhoids???? Final score - Hemorrhoids 126 over Ballblokes 82.
Boof Wins, Boof Wins, Damn it all Boof WINS..........
This was going to be a close game in my book, and I actually thought Morning Missles had the slight advantage. Figured that Dallas and Romo had to play better than last week and that MJD would gash the LA (I mean Jacksonville) Jags. Romo did OK for a loser, but MJD did not live up to a #1 draft picks expectation. And to top it off, Boof did the improbable. Sure, he got lucky with a Manningham TD, and Jacoby Jones was better than expected in the Houston comeback win, but what won the day for Boof Licks was the manager. How many of you losers without a QB would have even dreamed of sitting Tom Brady down. I mean - Tom Brady. The best looking, best dressed, best chicked QB in football. Tom Brady is Joe Namath on steroids. By all accounts the gals that Tiger "dated" came from Brady's B list. On top of it all, Brady was talkin smack about the Jets. He hates the Jets. Him and Moss were gonna put a whoopin on the J....E...T...S, Jets, Jets Jets! And they did. For one drive. But Boof man KNEW that would happen. He figured that Matt Ryan would do the whoopin on the Arizona D. I think he let his wife make his roster for him this week, which is a good thing for Boof Licks, because it was Matt's 26 points that proved the difference in this game. Marks whole team did well, and Missles was let down by MJD and the pathetic Giants performance, but starting Ryan over Brady was brilliant. Final Score - Boof Licks 118 over Mighty Missles 94 vaults Boof to the league lead.
This should REALLY be the Bitch Slap of the week......
Drew Brees gets 23 points for Horny. Andre Johnson comes back from the locker room to make an incredible last second TD catch and gets 22 points for Horny (by the way - don't you think IV fluids, pain killers and BJ's in the locker room are PERFORMANCE enhancing???). MeSoHorny should win this easy after that right? Wait, it gets even better. Our dear Commish, Death Panels, gets a big goose egg from Aromashodu (which I thought was some kind of suishi), another big goose egg from TJ Houshmanzadeh (I love TJ, but his last name sounds like a brand of saki) and a grand total of ONE point from the old man FAVra. If you give Brett a one point penalty for lack of skill, you end up with enough goose eggs for a pretty nice goose egg omlete Commish. This should have been the most one sided game of the week, and it almost was. But Death Panels has connections the rest of us don't have. Sushi gets zero - McCoy gets 31, Saki gets zero - Gates goes for 18, FAVra gets 1 point - Clinton Portis gets 15. Add a dash of Roddy White, Rice and the Packers Defense all in double digits and you get an omelet of ass whoopin. I told you last week Commish, that if someone loses to a team that gets zero points from a non-injured starter a penalty is in order, but you didn't make the ruling. Instead, you doubled up and beat MeSoHorny with two starters gettin blanked. Still think it should be a penalty but the precedent has been set. MeSoHorny falls to O-fer, and Death Panels gets to .500 with a 106 to 86 victory.
This was much closer than it looks........
Following the lead of Death Panels, Badgers scores a total of FOUR points from his wide receivers. Four points. That is pathetic. He also has the Eagles kicker and only scores 5 points out of the 35 scored, because the Lions defense couldn't stop the Eagles long enough to make them kick a field goal! BloodyPulp overachieved with his no-name players. Take Moss and Smith out of BloodyPulps team and you don't have much left, so scoring over 100 points is pretty good. But Badgers had Les Schaub as his QB and he made up for last weeks disappointing performance with 36 points. He also had another solid game from that racist Aryan Foster - sorry, Arian, benefited from Jackson being the starter with Ryan out for the Pack and got a surprisingly strong game from the Bengals defense to take this game to Monday night. With a mere two points (or so) separating Bloody from Badgers it came down to Garrett Hartley versus Frank Gore. I thought that the Saints were going to kick the 49ers arse on Monday. I figured the 49ers had to suck bad after getting killed by the Hawks. I felt that even more after the Hawks got dismantled by the Broncos. If New Orleans gets a big lead that should take Gore out of the game right? Nope - instead Gore does the butt kickin and scores 29 points, which leads to a comfortable win for Badgers. Think of it as a moral victory Bloodypulp. Badgers gets to 1-1 and Bloody goes to the cellar with a 121 to 104 victory.
As they say on Broadway - Break a leg, but first.................
Score a touch down. Ouch. That was rude - even uncalled for. Even for Squiggy. But football is that kinda game. Red Dragons had strong games from Rivers, Miles (By God, I AM - Miles Austin) Austin and Knowshon. Even with a mere 3 points from the overall number ONE pick Chris Johnson, Dragons had a slim lead going into Monday nights game. Dragons was just shy of 100 points, which I said Thrombic Acid would not see again this season. But then I retracted that. Glad I did because a couple of miraculous things happened for Thrombic Acid, one of which I would have bet my first born I would not see - a roster change. Thats right boys and girls (and Bingo), Thrombic Acid made a ROSTER change. Not only that - he dropped a player, yep DROPPED A PLAYER (actually a defense) and added a player. Then remembered to start his new defense! The only thing that would shock me more is if the Dems and our Prez came out and endorsed Tax cuts and spending cuts - but lets not push it. The other miracle was the play of Jay Cutler against a pretty stout Cowboy defense. Cutler scored almost 30 points and led the Bears to the victory - watch out for Chicago if they have a QB who can play. Along with Cutler - Dallas Clark (best player on Thrombics team) and some guy named Thomas for the Broncos scored well for Acid and all he needed was 5 points from the combo of Meachem and Bush on Monday night to win. The bad thing about having players on the Saints offense is they have so much offense, so many players who can score, and the problem for Acid is Meachem and Bush are number 4 and 5 on the list of guys who score. To prove the point Meachem couldn't muster a single point on Monday. Didn't matter in the end because Reggie (still the only FORMER Heisman trophy winner) scored the first touchdown of the game and that was enough to push Acid to the victory. Then he broke his leg. Time for another roster mover Thrombic, and now we all know you know how to do it. I feel bad for Reggie - but he will be back before the season is over. Thrombic Acid stays undefeated while Red Dragons drops to mid pack at 1-1 with a 104 to 99 win.
The toilet bowl game, but still a squeaker..........
Kind of a bad week for Squiggy. My Beavers win, but the defense looks bad against a middlin Louisville team. The Lions get the onside kick and look like a lock for a OT - and throw four straight in completes to end the game. I take the Colts in the 4th Quarter and give up 1/2 a point for 10 bucks and then Choice fumbles while running out the clock and Eli throws a garbage time TD, so I lose. I have $20 on the Saints giving six points and they have an eight point lead against SF - with no time outs and the whole field to go - and give up a TD. My wife decides I have a gambling problem - but I bet her twenty bucks I won't gamble this weekend, so we are cool there. Anyway, only one really good thing happened this weekend regarding football, OldSkoolers actually bought into Vince Young and started him. He could have started McNab. If BoofLicks starting Ryan over Brady was the equivalent of hitting a grand slam, then OldSkoolers starting Young over McNab is the equivalent of getting a shard of a wood stuck in your chest after breaking your bat. Young got MINUS 2 points. But even that wasn't enough to insure a victory for MacAttack. Even with Manning, Addai and Collie scoring 48 points on Sunday afternoon I was still vulnerable to defeat because OldSkoolers still had the Saint defense playing on Monday night. The New Orleans defense may give up points, but they score them in buckets also. No defense scored more points than the Saints last year. And it came down to the bitter end of the game because of 4 turnovers and a safety. All Skoolers needed was a sack and an interception returned for a TD on the 49ers last drive to pull out the win. Would have won me 20 bucks, but lost me the game in the 666 league. I left a lot of points on the bench but I still kind of feel embarrassed winning this one. I'll get over it soon enough. MacAttack stays undefeated and Oldskoolers joins the six team group at 1-1 with a 73 to 62 ugly win.
One more week before the byes start. Check out your team and make sure you have plans for when your Studs are sitting it out. Check the injury report. Check the waiver wire. Check the police blotter. As BoofLicks and OldSkooler and even Thrombic Acid proved this weekend, how you manage your bench can be the difference between winning and losing.
Squiggy
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
First Blood...but first a Rant
I know this blog is for the 666 league, but I need to vent here first. If it walks like a chicken, clucks like a chicken, smells like a chicken and tastes like a.......OK forget the tastes like.... it is a CHICKEN. And, by GOD, that wonderful catch by Calvin Johnson was a CHICKEN. After a drive like that how in the name of justice, freedom and the American way can a ref POSSIBLY call it incomplete....incomplete? INCOMPLETE????????? If there was ever a city, a fan base, or a team that deserved that call on the field to be a touch down it was then. It was that play. It was that catch. Let the replay guys in the booth make the technical call and reverse it. Let the idiots who come up with these rules defend it. But the guys on the field, the ref's in the trenches could have, damn well SHOULD have, called that a touchdown. Alas, as is becoming so common now, they went by the book, watched their backs, abandoned their freedom and pushed the decision to the booth. Since when has calling a play in the NFL required an expert rules official to be on the staff of a major network so he can explain in idiotic, bureaucratic and down right un-American language, how that wasn't a touchdown. I swear brothers, if you need an example of how stupid this country has become it was beautifully demonstrated by that call, and the call upstairs and the defense of the call etc, etc, etc. Almost makes me want to quit watchin football. Especially after two college kids dropped the ball on the one yard line the Saturday prior and no replay took it away. Boy am I pissed. But, enough of that rant - on to the recap of week #1!
The Bitch Slap......
Talk about one sided. Talk about unfair. In the biggest ass kickin since the US (and allies) invasion of Iraq, Boof absolutely destroyed Bloody. Boof won this game with two hands behind his back - Brady in the right hand and Forte in the left. I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE the Patriots. They dump players at will and still win. How could a good liberal like Boof have his starting QB be part of such a blood thirsty outfit like them? Add those two guys numbers up and Boof has the win locked up right there. Bloody lost his QB early (damn), and Moss couldn't even catch a TD to help negate Brady. This one was over before it started. Better get a QB Bloody - I have two pretty good ones............First Bitch slap of the year goes to Bloody, and it is bloody well deserved. Final Score - Boof Licks 131, Bloodypulp 49.
And the winner is - not Arian Foster.
You pick up a no name second team RB that only the most geeky fantasy owners even know about. Your a savy manager and start him on a hunch. You hope for a double digit game with maybe a cheap touch down. But what do you get instead? The best opening game performance by a running back since OJ in 1973. Arian Foster. Arian who???? Lets hope he doesn't drive a white Bronco. But even with a stunning 40+ performance from this unknown stud, Badgers, you still almost get Bitch slapped. Schaub (only the best QB in the league last year), wins against the colts but still sucks compared to Rivers, who loses to the Chiefs (the Chiefs!), but out scores Schaub by 14 points. Dragons may have the best team in the league this year and shows it week 1. Chris Johnson (computer pick), Miles (no longer Miles Who?) Austin (computer pick) and the NY Jets defense (you guessed it -computer pick) back up Rivers losing effort and dominate the Badgers. Badgers started slow last year, but finished strong. Just like my Beavers this year. Final score - Red Dragon 128 over Badgers 91.
We know its Football season when...................
Bingo wins his first game. He has Cutler (really), He has Nicks (top 100 receiver for sure) and he has the only player ever who can say he was a FORMER Heisman trophy winner (Bush). Hell, OJ killed his wife and didn't have to give back his trophy. In fact, I think he sold it and went to jail trying to get it back.........The only thing I can say about this game is Bingo wins. Even if they HAD given Calvin the TD he so righteously deserved it would not have changed the outcome. I wasn't sure who Thrombic Acid was (or what the hell it is) until I saw the score. Then BINGO - it had to be Bingo. Eli and the aging wide outs Boldin and Ward played well for the Blokes - but not well enough to cover the others. BallBlokes team is better than Thrombic Acid on paper - but thats why you play the game. I bet a dollar to a donut that Thrombic doesn't cover the century mark again this season. Wait - I take that back - its Bingmans team which means they will win until late in the season. Final Score - Thrombic Acid 100 over BallBlokes 75.
Sex is better than Football.........
At least I hope thats true for MeSoHorny. This was not really as close as the score indicated, but not because MeSoHorny doesn't have a good team. Charles nice TD run on Monday night made it much more respectable, but his QB couldn't even out score Romo, who lost to the Redskins (Native Americans if you are sensitive). Missiles had a nice balanced attack this weekend - nobody dominated, but all contributed. Nobody, that is, except for Wes Welker. Wes has always been a possession receiver, but on Sunday he turned into a TD machine - which was good for Morning Missles. You know things are going your way when Floyd outscores Andre Johnson on a day when the Texans score 34 points. Brees will score you points before its over Horny, but he will also give you lame weekends. Hopefully for you he doesn't lay an egg during the playoffs. Final score - Morning Missiles 96 - MeSoHorny 75
Corn on the..............
Kolb. His name is pronounce COBB. It is spelled KOOLLLLB. Should make him the next Favre, which is pronounce FARV, but is spelled FAVra. Well, if one game is any indication, this boy ain't no FAVra. Kolb got a concussion fairly early in the game, but didn't show much prior to the injury. My man Chad Johnson had a great game, which very much helped Hemorrhoids stay in one of the closest match ups of the weekend. Best did great, but AP didn't perform as well as I expected - so in the end it came down to two matchups. Peyton - I will soon be the highest paid player in the NFL, versus the aforementioned Kolb and the Arizona defence versus the SF 49ers defence. From a purely fantasy football perspective I loved the fact that Indy trailed the whole game, because then I knew Manning would score for the Mac Attack. I was worried about the vaunted 9er's D against what was suppose to be a cupcake Hawks team, but had no need to worry. This game was won by the manager - I started Manning over Rodgers (not that big a deal - though Rodgers was my #1 pick) and dropped the Indy D to pick up the Cardinal D. Those two moves won the day for me, and damn if I am not proud! Final score - MacAttack 89 over Hemorrhoids 78. As you said, you do need a QB - I got two son, so make me an offer!
And down the stretch they come...............
I love match ups that come down to the Monday night game, and this one did. It really shouldn't have been that close though. OldSkoolers got all of 0.70 points from that vaunted young savior of the Jets - Shonn (Shonn? SHONN?? - its spelled Shawn) Greenn who managed to make LT look like he was 23 again Even worse he got a big fat Goose egg from Sims-Walker. If you draft a Wide out with two names you should get two times the points, which Skoolers did - two times zero is still ZERO! On top of those two tremendous efforts, Skoolers got 6 points from Joe Flacco. Joe Flacco would be a great character on the Saprano's or Law and Order, but doesn't do much as a Raven. So how did OldSkoolers win? First Deathpanels has an offensive starter that plays for the Jets, which is - well, kind of offensive to use the word "plays" when your talking about the Jets O. Second, he bought in on all the hype (including mine) about CJ Spiller. Third - FAVra played like he ws 42 years old. Even with all of that the Commish had an outside chance on Monday night - especially when that other offensive offensive player from the Jets (Green) laid an egg in the early game. All that was needed was a GREAT game from Antonio Gates - which he almost got. One more pass, late in the game, corner of the endzone and the Commish pulls it out. Sorry to rain on your parade Death Panels, all I can say is Scoreboard. I think if you get beat by less than two points and the opposing team has a starter (not injured) who throws in a GOOSE egg you should get a fine........what say you Commish? Final - OldSkoolers 80 defeats Death Panels 78.
There you go boys and girls (and Bingo) - the first week is over. As I predicted half the league is undefeated and half are looking for thier first victory. I wonder what happens next week...............
Squiggy
The Bitch Slap......
Talk about one sided. Talk about unfair. In the biggest ass kickin since the US (and allies) invasion of Iraq, Boof absolutely destroyed Bloody. Boof won this game with two hands behind his back - Brady in the right hand and Forte in the left. I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE the Patriots. They dump players at will and still win. How could a good liberal like Boof have his starting QB be part of such a blood thirsty outfit like them? Add those two guys numbers up and Boof has the win locked up right there. Bloody lost his QB early (damn), and Moss couldn't even catch a TD to help negate Brady. This one was over before it started. Better get a QB Bloody - I have two pretty good ones............First Bitch slap of the year goes to Bloody, and it is bloody well deserved. Final Score - Boof Licks 131, Bloodypulp 49.
And the winner is - not Arian Foster.
You pick up a no name second team RB that only the most geeky fantasy owners even know about. Your a savy manager and start him on a hunch. You hope for a double digit game with maybe a cheap touch down. But what do you get instead? The best opening game performance by a running back since OJ in 1973. Arian Foster. Arian who???? Lets hope he doesn't drive a white Bronco. But even with a stunning 40+ performance from this unknown stud, Badgers, you still almost get Bitch slapped. Schaub (only the best QB in the league last year), wins against the colts but still sucks compared to Rivers, who loses to the Chiefs (the Chiefs!), but out scores Schaub by 14 points. Dragons may have the best team in the league this year and shows it week 1. Chris Johnson (computer pick), Miles (no longer Miles Who?) Austin (computer pick) and the NY Jets defense (you guessed it -computer pick) back up Rivers losing effort and dominate the Badgers. Badgers started slow last year, but finished strong. Just like my Beavers this year. Final score - Red Dragon 128 over Badgers 91.
We know its Football season when...................
Bingo wins his first game. He has Cutler (really), He has Nicks (top 100 receiver for sure) and he has the only player ever who can say he was a FORMER Heisman trophy winner (Bush). Hell, OJ killed his wife and didn't have to give back his trophy. In fact, I think he sold it and went to jail trying to get it back.........The only thing I can say about this game is Bingo wins. Even if they HAD given Calvin the TD he so righteously deserved it would not have changed the outcome. I wasn't sure who Thrombic Acid was (or what the hell it is) until I saw the score. Then BINGO - it had to be Bingo. Eli and the aging wide outs Boldin and Ward played well for the Blokes - but not well enough to cover the others. BallBlokes team is better than Thrombic Acid on paper - but thats why you play the game. I bet a dollar to a donut that Thrombic doesn't cover the century mark again this season. Wait - I take that back - its Bingmans team which means they will win until late in the season. Final Score - Thrombic Acid 100 over BallBlokes 75.
Sex is better than Football.........
At least I hope thats true for MeSoHorny. This was not really as close as the score indicated, but not because MeSoHorny doesn't have a good team. Charles nice TD run on Monday night made it much more respectable, but his QB couldn't even out score Romo, who lost to the Redskins (Native Americans if you are sensitive). Missiles had a nice balanced attack this weekend - nobody dominated, but all contributed. Nobody, that is, except for Wes Welker. Wes has always been a possession receiver, but on Sunday he turned into a TD machine - which was good for Morning Missles. You know things are going your way when Floyd outscores Andre Johnson on a day when the Texans score 34 points. Brees will score you points before its over Horny, but he will also give you lame weekends. Hopefully for you he doesn't lay an egg during the playoffs. Final score - Morning Missiles 96 - MeSoHorny 75
Corn on the..............
Kolb. His name is pronounce COBB. It is spelled KOOLLLLB. Should make him the next Favre, which is pronounce FARV, but is spelled FAVra. Well, if one game is any indication, this boy ain't no FAVra. Kolb got a concussion fairly early in the game, but didn't show much prior to the injury. My man Chad Johnson had a great game, which very much helped Hemorrhoids stay in one of the closest match ups of the weekend. Best did great, but AP didn't perform as well as I expected - so in the end it came down to two matchups. Peyton - I will soon be the highest paid player in the NFL, versus the aforementioned Kolb and the Arizona defence versus the SF 49ers defence. From a purely fantasy football perspective I loved the fact that Indy trailed the whole game, because then I knew Manning would score for the Mac Attack. I was worried about the vaunted 9er's D against what was suppose to be a cupcake Hawks team, but had no need to worry. This game was won by the manager - I started Manning over Rodgers (not that big a deal - though Rodgers was my #1 pick) and dropped the Indy D to pick up the Cardinal D. Those two moves won the day for me, and damn if I am not proud! Final score - MacAttack 89 over Hemorrhoids 78. As you said, you do need a QB - I got two son, so make me an offer!
And down the stretch they come...............
I love match ups that come down to the Monday night game, and this one did. It really shouldn't have been that close though. OldSkoolers got all of 0.70 points from that vaunted young savior of the Jets - Shonn (Shonn? SHONN?? - its spelled Shawn) Greenn who managed to make LT look like he was 23 again Even worse he got a big fat Goose egg from Sims-Walker. If you draft a Wide out with two names you should get two times the points, which Skoolers did - two times zero is still ZERO! On top of those two tremendous efforts, Skoolers got 6 points from Joe Flacco. Joe Flacco would be a great character on the Saprano's or Law and Order, but doesn't do much as a Raven. So how did OldSkoolers win? First Deathpanels has an offensive starter that plays for the Jets, which is - well, kind of offensive to use the word "plays" when your talking about the Jets O. Second, he bought in on all the hype (including mine) about CJ Spiller. Third - FAVra played like he ws 42 years old. Even with all of that the Commish had an outside chance on Monday night - especially when that other offensive offensive player from the Jets (Green) laid an egg in the early game. All that was needed was a GREAT game from Antonio Gates - which he almost got. One more pass, late in the game, corner of the endzone and the Commish pulls it out. Sorry to rain on your parade Death Panels, all I can say is Scoreboard. I think if you get beat by less than two points and the opposing team has a starter (not injured) who throws in a GOOSE egg you should get a fine........what say you Commish? Final - OldSkoolers 80 defeats Death Panels 78.
There you go boys and girls (and Bingo) - the first week is over. As I predicted half the league is undefeated and half are looking for thier first victory. I wonder what happens next week...............
Squiggy
Monday, September 6, 2010
And the Results are in. Winners and Losers in the draft
Football is a team sport. Having the best QB or RB in the pros is not enough to insure success. In fact, often times if you have the very best it means the rest of your team is weak. So, prior to the games starting in earnest, it would seem like a good time to review how the draft went. I want to thank the Commish for setting up a live draft - looked to me like about half were on the live draft and half let Yahoo choose their teams for them.
In order to make this a bit more scientific I separated each team into five categories - QB, WR's, RB's, Other and Bench. Each team was given a letter grade in all the categories. Simple enough? From the bottom up here are the team rankings, pre-season odds to win and an individual comment. I put about 15 minutes into doing this - so if I mess up, well, this is free.
Grade Team Odds
C minus Badgers 7-1
C minus Old Skoolers 7-1
C plus Bloody pulp 5-1
B minus Boof Licks 4-1
B minus Ball Bloke 4-1
B Morning Missles 3-1
B Death Panels 3-1
B MacAttack 3-1
B plus Red Dragon 2-1
B plus MeSoHorney 2-1
Badgers - you are the worst team in the league on paper. But, have faith, you got such a low score because everyone on your bench is going to miss the first 4 or more games. Ben, Jackson and Holmes. Two because they are felons, Jackson because he was too greedy - so even if he gets traded he can't play. That got you an F for your bench score. Your QB has upside, and your running backs are both stars. If you can get your bench to come back and play you could be the next Bloody pulp - worst to first by seasons end!
Old Skoolers - you would be the worst, but didn't get an F in any category, you did get two D's however. Your wideouts are good, running backs are going to be fine if Green is the player that everyone thinks he is, but you have a retread QB on a bad team, no bench and - literally - no defense. Better pick one up brother. You have Flacco on the bench backing up McNabb - if either has a great season you could do fine. If not, I would be looking to trade me for one of my STUD QB's! Oh - and that assumes you DO pick up a defense.
Bloody Pulp - The strength of your team is the wideouts. The weakness of your team is QB. Stafford backed up by Orton. Might think about throwing Lineart in there - he just got picked up! You have two handcuffed running backs - which will work well some weeks. Your bench is so-so at best, but you have a great defense. Just don't see the upside on this team.......
Boof Licks - Nicely balanced team. Brady is an A level QB, Colston, Knox and Jones are good wideouts. Your running backs are the big question mark. Does Jackson repeat his 4 TD performance running for the worst (yep the WORST) team in football? Is Mendenhall healthy? Your pickup of Tate with the Hawks could pay off - especially with TJ being cut from the team. Your weakness is the bench, plus how the heck did you end up with two Tight Ends?????? Also - Brady still has to worry about the knee........
Ball Bloke - You've got a decent QB in Eli, and a strong backup in Palmer (my guess is he will be your starter soon!), have a talented group of wideouts and the best running back of the Jets (no longer) as well as the young Matthews kid who looked good in preseason. Again, a pretty balanced team, but you have no bench (your best is hurt). Good group of special teams with Miller and the Philly defense. Got some upside, but if Jones/Mathews are busts you are in trouble.
Morning Missiles - Not bad for a computer. I called Romo a B quarterback, but if he has the season everyone expects he could move up to the elite level. Your wide outs are average at best, but Hester might score with return yards. MJD is still a stud and will score some points, but he is getting older and Carolina is not what you would call a dynamic offensive team. Gave you the highest grade for special teams with V Davis and the Minnesota D. You also have a pretty deep bench with the exception of Vince Young - but he might be a lot better this year. You got a shot.
Death Panels - Another well balanced team. Farve is still an elite quarterback, but is older than Moses. Weak on the wide outs - lucky for you that TJ got picked up by Baltimore - Flacco will like him. Two solid runningbacks, solid special teams and a strong bench, except for your backup QB. CJ Spiller might be your best pickup of the season. If Favre plays like he did last year, and makes it till the end you got a solid shot Commish.
MacAttack - Squiggy has two of the top 5 QB's in the league. One of the reasons I do that is to have a solid trade, and would be open to one - but if somebody wants to try your going to have to give me a stud. Either way, just sitting on my bench one of them won't be scoring any points for you suckers! The rest of my team is much stronger than I had any hope for, Percy Harvin should be able to fight through a few headaches and score, TO is going to love catching for Palmer, and Collie is slowly becoming a favorite of Peyton. Both my RB's are #1's and I have another number 1 on the bench. My weakness is the special teams, but my kicker will do great if he can hold it together and the Cowboys score like they should. Oh - and I got the Cripps guy who scores so many points from returns! I like my chances.........
Red Dragon - Elite QB, stud WR's (assuming Fitz is OK) and the second best RB in the NFL. You would have got an A but you do not have a bench, which means on bye weeks or any injuries and your season could be over. You also have a great defense. If you stay healthy I would make you the favorite to win, but staying healthy isn't easy in the NFL. How in the heck did you get Johnson and Rivers??????
MeSoHorny - You have the second best QB, stud wider receivers and good special teams. RB is a little weak with Charles and Barber and your bench isn't real strong. It was a close call deciding between Red Dragon and you, but I just had to go with you because of the name. MeSoHorny kinda makes me so horny.............
Overall the league is pretty balanced, more so after looking close than I had originally thought. Was going to give the Commish a $10 fine for picking up TJ because they were saying he might be cut, but since he was picked up and will play it seemed excessive. Was going to give Badgers a $10 fine for filling his bench with guys who are out - but its a long season, and it might pay off later. Was going to fine Boof Licks $10 for having such a hard time signing up - but then he made the live draft. So, no preseason fines!
Good luck all,
Squiggy
In order to make this a bit more scientific I separated each team into five categories - QB, WR's, RB's, Other and Bench. Each team was given a letter grade in all the categories. Simple enough? From the bottom up here are the team rankings, pre-season odds to win and an individual comment. I put about 15 minutes into doing this - so if I mess up, well, this is free.
Grade Team Odds
C minus Badgers 7-1
C minus Old Skoolers 7-1
C plus Bloody pulp 5-1
B minus Boof Licks 4-1
B minus Ball Bloke 4-1
B Morning Missles 3-1
B Death Panels 3-1
B MacAttack 3-1
B plus Red Dragon 2-1
B plus MeSoHorney 2-1
Badgers - you are the worst team in the league on paper. But, have faith, you got such a low score because everyone on your bench is going to miss the first 4 or more games. Ben, Jackson and Holmes. Two because they are felons, Jackson because he was too greedy - so even if he gets traded he can't play. That got you an F for your bench score. Your QB has upside, and your running backs are both stars. If you can get your bench to come back and play you could be the next Bloody pulp - worst to first by seasons end!
Old Skoolers - you would be the worst, but didn't get an F in any category, you did get two D's however. Your wideouts are good, running backs are going to be fine if Green is the player that everyone thinks he is, but you have a retread QB on a bad team, no bench and - literally - no defense. Better pick one up brother. You have Flacco on the bench backing up McNabb - if either has a great season you could do fine. If not, I would be looking to trade me for one of my STUD QB's! Oh - and that assumes you DO pick up a defense.
Bloody Pulp - The strength of your team is the wideouts. The weakness of your team is QB. Stafford backed up by Orton. Might think about throwing Lineart in there - he just got picked up! You have two handcuffed running backs - which will work well some weeks. Your bench is so-so at best, but you have a great defense. Just don't see the upside on this team.......
Boof Licks - Nicely balanced team. Brady is an A level QB, Colston, Knox and Jones are good wideouts. Your running backs are the big question mark. Does Jackson repeat his 4 TD performance running for the worst (yep the WORST) team in football? Is Mendenhall healthy? Your pickup of Tate with the Hawks could pay off - especially with TJ being cut from the team. Your weakness is the bench, plus how the heck did you end up with two Tight Ends?????? Also - Brady still has to worry about the knee........
Ball Bloke - You've got a decent QB in Eli, and a strong backup in Palmer (my guess is he will be your starter soon!), have a talented group of wideouts and the best running back of the Jets (no longer) as well as the young Matthews kid who looked good in preseason. Again, a pretty balanced team, but you have no bench (your best is hurt). Good group of special teams with Miller and the Philly defense. Got some upside, but if Jones/Mathews are busts you are in trouble.
Morning Missiles - Not bad for a computer. I called Romo a B quarterback, but if he has the season everyone expects he could move up to the elite level. Your wide outs are average at best, but Hester might score with return yards. MJD is still a stud and will score some points, but he is getting older and Carolina is not what you would call a dynamic offensive team. Gave you the highest grade for special teams with V Davis and the Minnesota D. You also have a pretty deep bench with the exception of Vince Young - but he might be a lot better this year. You got a shot.
Death Panels - Another well balanced team. Farve is still an elite quarterback, but is older than Moses. Weak on the wide outs - lucky for you that TJ got picked up by Baltimore - Flacco will like him. Two solid runningbacks, solid special teams and a strong bench, except for your backup QB. CJ Spiller might be your best pickup of the season. If Favre plays like he did last year, and makes it till the end you got a solid shot Commish.
MacAttack - Squiggy has two of the top 5 QB's in the league. One of the reasons I do that is to have a solid trade, and would be open to one - but if somebody wants to try your going to have to give me a stud. Either way, just sitting on my bench one of them won't be scoring any points for you suckers! The rest of my team is much stronger than I had any hope for, Percy Harvin should be able to fight through a few headaches and score, TO is going to love catching for Palmer, and Collie is slowly becoming a favorite of Peyton. Both my RB's are #1's and I have another number 1 on the bench. My weakness is the special teams, but my kicker will do great if he can hold it together and the Cowboys score like they should. Oh - and I got the Cripps guy who scores so many points from returns! I like my chances.........
Red Dragon - Elite QB, stud WR's (assuming Fitz is OK) and the second best RB in the NFL. You would have got an A but you do not have a bench, which means on bye weeks or any injuries and your season could be over. You also have a great defense. If you stay healthy I would make you the favorite to win, but staying healthy isn't easy in the NFL. How in the heck did you get Johnson and Rivers??????
MeSoHorny - You have the second best QB, stud wider receivers and good special teams. RB is a little weak with Charles and Barber and your bench isn't real strong. It was a close call deciding between Red Dragon and you, but I just had to go with you because of the name. MeSoHorny kinda makes me so horny.............
Overall the league is pretty balanced, more so after looking close than I had originally thought. Was going to give the Commish a $10 fine for picking up TJ because they were saying he might be cut, but since he was picked up and will play it seemed excessive. Was going to give Badgers a $10 fine for filling his bench with guys who are out - but its a long season, and it might pay off later. Was going to fine Boof Licks $10 for having such a hard time signing up - but then he made the live draft. So, no preseason fines!
Good luck all,
Squiggy
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