Sorry fellas (or whoever reads this), but I deleted my post by accident just when I was finished. Pissed me off, because I thought it was pretty good. Was just putting the finishing touches on it and - BAM - off to oblivion. Tried for over an hour to figure out how to get it back, but all the wonderful prose and thoughts are now lost in the vapors. Didn't have the energy or motivation to try to re-write it. It doesn't work that way with me. Anyway - was a helluva a weekend of football with some great games. To bad for Boof Licks that a back up QB ALWAYS falls back on his tight end - the loss of Romo hurt Boof Licks more than it hurt Morning Missles. Turns out the closest game of the week was Old Skoolers nipping Thrombic Acid in the "Nicks" of time. The Bitch Slap should have been MacAttack over Ballblokes, but was Badgers over MeSoHorny instead.
Again, sorry about the mess up. The playoff battles are settling in - the fight for the last spots is going to be tight. The team making the most of the least is Morning Missles who sits at 5-2 and still hasn't busted 700 points. The team making the least of the most is Red Dragons, who is at 3-4 but has scored the second highest number of points in the league.
Good luck this weekend. Oh - and remember to check out that trade thingy. That be you Thrombic. Bingo. Are you listening???????? Squiggy has three QB's and is itchin to trade one of them. Feel free to make me a decent offer anybody fighting for the last spots in the playoffs.........
Squiggy
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Bloody Sunday
This was my Nascar weekend so I didn't have the pleasure of watching Sunday Ticket with my usual focus, nor was I able to really keep track of the head to head games as well as I would normally. But it was a grand weekend. It was an experience that will be hard to duplicate. Most of you knuckleheads probably have NO appreciation for Nascar. For real racin. Put your foot to the floor, get in my way at your own peril, my balls are bigger than yours and if ya gotta piss, well you just do it, kind of racin. This was tremendous stuff, and we all had a ball. But even with all of those distractions. Even though NC has yet to fully discover the concept of Hi Def TV, or more than two TV's in a bar, I could not miss the devestating hits that has the National Football League all in a tizzy. Not to get on a rant here, and having no idea how y'all feel about the issue, but it is another sign of what ails our great nation. Football is a violent game. The better you get, the farther you get, the more violent it becomes. Do great running backs fall down when they get hit? No. Do great QB's drop to the ground when they sniff a rush from the blind side. No. Do defensive lineman bite whatever they have too in order to get a fumble - yes. Does a linebacker pancake Adrian P when he is stood up and ripe for a lick. Yes. Till this last weekend, did a great corner or safety just absolutely light up a wideout crossing the middle to knock the ball out - and the head off for that matter. Yes. But not after today. From now on you must tackle in a more "civilized" way. No more lowering the head to a "defenseless" reciever. Now, I suppose, you tippy toe up, let 'em catch the ball, givem' a bear hug after the catch and then help him up. Hell, might as well dust off any dirt on his jersey. How in the name of Nighttrain is that going to work. There is a reason that Moss doesn't go over the middle. If you don't want to get hit hard, stick to the side line or run deep. Welker - theres a guy who knows how to do it and not get blow'd up. Not to mention that in a bunch of the cases, the defensive player gets the worst of it. Now don't get me wrong, I don't like seeing guys get hurt. Don't like guys careers getting ruined, but there has to be a better way. Playing football at half speed will work about as well as being half pregenant. And what in the world are we going to do about knee injuries. About broken legs. About little pinkies getting torn off. My suggestion is to change the gear - if you make it hurt more to do a helmet to helmet hit, there will be fewer of em. Ever look at the size of the helmet that Bart Star wore.............
But enough about that - we had a bunch of great games in the 666 league this week.
Death Panels sits Suishi...................................and gets Bitch Slapped
Thrombic Acid (Aka Bio Diesel or something last year) had a system last year and stuck to it thick or thin. Stick with what got you wins. Who cares if it makes any sense. Who cares if the other kids tease you. What counts is wins. Don't mess with a system. But the Commish couldn't stick with his system. Probably goaded (or rather reminded) by Morning Missles who was in the Motor City, Death Panels actually started players that played. In every position. He even scored points from every player on his lineup this week, which I think is the first time this season. Hell, he even scored points from his wider recievers. And he got about half as many points this week than he got last week. Calvin J (who was doubtful to play) had 21 for Ballblokes, DeSean Jackson had 20 before he got blow'd up, Jones 17 and Eli's 19 all added up to the ass whoppin of the week. And just to prove a point. To be mean even, Ballblokes put the Slap on Death Panels even though he got ZIP from Kevin Walker who couldn't score a point in Houstons 35-31 win. Ballblokes and Death Panels both go to 3-3 - Final Ballblokes 119 over Death Panels 80.
And POP goes the..................................................Cherry
Finally. MeSoHorny gets the taste of what life is like as a winner. Brought a tear to my eye. Made me want to listen to that golden oldie by the Four Seasons. You know the one - Oh what a night, late December back in 63, what a very special time for me..................All I can say MeSoHorny, is even though the first one is great, and will never be forgotten, it only gets better with practice! Brees (27), A Johnson (20), Gonzales (14) all finally came together to perform like the studs they were suppose to be. The rest of the squad, with the exception of Driver, were respectable and MeSoHorny was finished early. Which often happens the first time........the only defense the Bloody (again happens often the first time - yuk, forget I said that) was decent games from Orton, Bradshaw and Moore. Moss? Well - he didnt get blow'd up so I guess it was a good game. Horny goes to 1-5 and stays in contention, while Bloodypulp falls to 2-4 109 to 77.
What goes up real fast often..........................................gets blow'd up
Not to push the metephors too far, but often when you shoot your wad on one game, you kind of lose ammunition on the next go round. Dragons had an absolutely dominating game last week, and scored twice as many points as half the field, so a downfall was very predictable. Morning Missles had another good scoring performance from Romo (in ANOTHER Cowboy loss), and the Titan Def totallly dominated the Jags (including Missles #1 pick MJD), but the rest of the team was average, and Missles managed to score just shy of a 100. I didn't do the math, but I think Morning Missles has the most consistent scoring team in the league - kind of like the Jets. Nothin flashy, but keeps on winning. Dragons could only score 21 points from his QB and all three wideouts, and wasted one of Chris Johnsons better games to barely bust 70 points. Think this was a temporary set back for Dragons, but I would recommend drinking lotsa water, staying away from MeSoHorny for at least a week, and only watch PBS. That should re-charge ya. Morning Missles vaults to 4-2 and Red Dragons falls to 3-3 = 96 to 72.
Its just not fair, I played a good game, but I cant beat........................Squiggy
Boof Licks was due for a good game. He has talented players. He is a good manager. He is very much like the Cowboys. Close, but still so far away. Brady, Knox, Jackson, Mendenhall all had great games. Forte scored the first TD of the weekend (I think). Manningham scored another TD. Even Janikowski got into double digits. The problem was Shiancoe didn't score. As in didn't have a catch. That and Colstons measly 5 points were the difference. A hundred will win more than it loses Boof man, but not when you are playing the best. LT - another outstanding game. Every week I think of sitting him. Every week I am glad I didn't. Joseph Addai. Gets every Wednesday off, is listed as questionable, I think of sitting him, and am glad I didn't. Percy Harvin, the happiest guy on the Vikings with the Moss deal, and should have scored more points. Austin Collie - I'll take three catchs and a TD a game all year long. And of course Mr. Manning. Bottom line is MacAttack kicks ass again (and wins 25 bucks to boot) and goes to 5-1 with a 117 to 100 victory, dropping Boof Licks to near the bottom at 2-4.
This one hurt
This was a good game. Wish I would have been able to watch the scoring - don't know how neck and neck it was. All I do know is when Flacco, Jennings, Maclin and the NO defense score you 80 plus points you are normally going to win. Especially if your opponent doesn't start a defense! If you score over 120 points you are normally NEVER going to lose, but as we have seen before, it all depends on who you are lucky, or unlucky, enough to draw that week. OldSkoolers plays ANYBODY else this week and he gets a W. But, he was playing the Badgers. Saturday should have been the clue - like when the REAL Badgers knocked out the OTHER OSU, and #1 ranked Buckeyes. It was a Badger weekend. Big Bad Ben comes back (ok, I messed up last week and he was on a bye) and starts slow, but finishes strong. Arian Foster continues his improbable play, Pieree Garcon - who couldn't catch a ball in the first couple of games - has a great game, but the most improbable stud this week was some guy named Torain (which I thought was some kind of religious book). How in the hell can Badgers score almost 50 points from two running backs that nobody had ever heard of before the season. I bet Morning Missles would trade you MJD for either one Badgers. Great games from both, but OldSkooler falls to 2-4 and Badgers goes to 4-2 136 - 122
Wish I could have watched the MNF game..........................this looks like it came down to the wire
Runnin out of steam boys - been a long weekend, but I really wish I had seen the Monday night game. I was on a plane - and didn't even see the highlights. Looks like Hemorrhoids had a big lead going into the game on the back of a great game from Bowe, and decent games from AP, Prater and the SF defense. All Thrombic Acid had left was Bironas for the Titans. Thrombic had another good game from Alex Smith, Jacobs scored the points for the Giants, Meachem had a TD, and Marshall did OK. But his stud, Nicks, probably drew more defensive attention based on his last couple of games and scored less than a point. So Thrombic needed 15 points to catch Rhoids which is hard to do with a kicker. Based on the score it looked like a boring game. Boring for everyone but Acid and Rhoids that is. Still haven't seen any replays, and probably never will, but if I could make up the ending it would be Titan ball on the Jags 20 with the clock ticking. Acid yelling, kick the damn field goal, kick the damn field goal......................but I know that is fantasy only. No way Bingo was even watchin the game. Thrombic Acid falls to a respectable 3-3 and Hemorrhoids goes to 4-2 in the closest game of the week 94-92.
We are half way through the season and still have a nice balance to the league. Nobody is out of it, but there are a couple who are about to go a lap down. Now that Horny has scored, will he make a second half run? Is Boof done for the year like the Cowboys? Is squiggy going to run away with it all? This is a big week of byes - lots of talent on the bench. Should be interesting.
Squiggy
But enough about that - we had a bunch of great games in the 666 league this week.
Death Panels sits Suishi...................................and gets Bitch Slapped
Thrombic Acid (Aka Bio Diesel or something last year) had a system last year and stuck to it thick or thin. Stick with what got you wins. Who cares if it makes any sense. Who cares if the other kids tease you. What counts is wins. Don't mess with a system. But the Commish couldn't stick with his system. Probably goaded (or rather reminded) by Morning Missles who was in the Motor City, Death Panels actually started players that played. In every position. He even scored points from every player on his lineup this week, which I think is the first time this season. Hell, he even scored points from his wider recievers. And he got about half as many points this week than he got last week. Calvin J (who was doubtful to play) had 21 for Ballblokes, DeSean Jackson had 20 before he got blow'd up, Jones 17 and Eli's 19 all added up to the ass whoppin of the week. And just to prove a point. To be mean even, Ballblokes put the Slap on Death Panels even though he got ZIP from Kevin Walker who couldn't score a point in Houstons 35-31 win. Ballblokes and Death Panels both go to 3-3 - Final Ballblokes 119 over Death Panels 80.
And POP goes the..................................................Cherry
Finally. MeSoHorny gets the taste of what life is like as a winner. Brought a tear to my eye. Made me want to listen to that golden oldie by the Four Seasons. You know the one - Oh what a night, late December back in 63, what a very special time for me..................All I can say MeSoHorny, is even though the first one is great, and will never be forgotten, it only gets better with practice! Brees (27), A Johnson (20), Gonzales (14) all finally came together to perform like the studs they were suppose to be. The rest of the squad, with the exception of Driver, were respectable and MeSoHorny was finished early. Which often happens the first time........the only defense the Bloody (again happens often the first time - yuk, forget I said that) was decent games from Orton, Bradshaw and Moore. Moss? Well - he didnt get blow'd up so I guess it was a good game. Horny goes to 1-5 and stays in contention, while Bloodypulp falls to 2-4 109 to 77.
What goes up real fast often..........................................gets blow'd up
Not to push the metephors too far, but often when you shoot your wad on one game, you kind of lose ammunition on the next go round. Dragons had an absolutely dominating game last week, and scored twice as many points as half the field, so a downfall was very predictable. Morning Missles had another good scoring performance from Romo (in ANOTHER Cowboy loss), and the Titan Def totallly dominated the Jags (including Missles #1 pick MJD), but the rest of the team was average, and Missles managed to score just shy of a 100. I didn't do the math, but I think Morning Missles has the most consistent scoring team in the league - kind of like the Jets. Nothin flashy, but keeps on winning. Dragons could only score 21 points from his QB and all three wideouts, and wasted one of Chris Johnsons better games to barely bust 70 points. Think this was a temporary set back for Dragons, but I would recommend drinking lotsa water, staying away from MeSoHorny for at least a week, and only watch PBS. That should re-charge ya. Morning Missles vaults to 4-2 and Red Dragons falls to 3-3 = 96 to 72.
Its just not fair, I played a good game, but I cant beat........................Squiggy
Boof Licks was due for a good game. He has talented players. He is a good manager. He is very much like the Cowboys. Close, but still so far away. Brady, Knox, Jackson, Mendenhall all had great games. Forte scored the first TD of the weekend (I think). Manningham scored another TD. Even Janikowski got into double digits. The problem was Shiancoe didn't score. As in didn't have a catch. That and Colstons measly 5 points were the difference. A hundred will win more than it loses Boof man, but not when you are playing the best. LT - another outstanding game. Every week I think of sitting him. Every week I am glad I didn't. Joseph Addai. Gets every Wednesday off, is listed as questionable, I think of sitting him, and am glad I didn't. Percy Harvin, the happiest guy on the Vikings with the Moss deal, and should have scored more points. Austin Collie - I'll take three catchs and a TD a game all year long. And of course Mr. Manning. Bottom line is MacAttack kicks ass again (and wins 25 bucks to boot) and goes to 5-1 with a 117 to 100 victory, dropping Boof Licks to near the bottom at 2-4.
This one hurt
This was a good game. Wish I would have been able to watch the scoring - don't know how neck and neck it was. All I do know is when Flacco, Jennings, Maclin and the NO defense score you 80 plus points you are normally going to win. Especially if your opponent doesn't start a defense! If you score over 120 points you are normally NEVER going to lose, but as we have seen before, it all depends on who you are lucky, or unlucky, enough to draw that week. OldSkoolers plays ANYBODY else this week and he gets a W. But, he was playing the Badgers. Saturday should have been the clue - like when the REAL Badgers knocked out the OTHER OSU, and #1 ranked Buckeyes. It was a Badger weekend. Big Bad Ben comes back (ok, I messed up last week and he was on a bye) and starts slow, but finishes strong. Arian Foster continues his improbable play, Pieree Garcon - who couldn't catch a ball in the first couple of games - has a great game, but the most improbable stud this week was some guy named Torain (which I thought was some kind of religious book). How in the hell can Badgers score almost 50 points from two running backs that nobody had ever heard of before the season. I bet Morning Missles would trade you MJD for either one Badgers. Great games from both, but OldSkooler falls to 2-4 and Badgers goes to 4-2 136 - 122
Wish I could have watched the MNF game..........................this looks like it came down to the wire
Runnin out of steam boys - been a long weekend, but I really wish I had seen the Monday night game. I was on a plane - and didn't even see the highlights. Looks like Hemorrhoids had a big lead going into the game on the back of a great game from Bowe, and decent games from AP, Prater and the SF defense. All Thrombic Acid had left was Bironas for the Titans. Thrombic had another good game from Alex Smith, Jacobs scored the points for the Giants, Meachem had a TD, and Marshall did OK. But his stud, Nicks, probably drew more defensive attention based on his last couple of games and scored less than a point. So Thrombic needed 15 points to catch Rhoids which is hard to do with a kicker. Based on the score it looked like a boring game. Boring for everyone but Acid and Rhoids that is. Still haven't seen any replays, and probably never will, but if I could make up the ending it would be Titan ball on the Jags 20 with the clock ticking. Acid yelling, kick the damn field goal, kick the damn field goal......................but I know that is fantasy only. No way Bingo was even watchin the game. Thrombic Acid falls to a respectable 3-3 and Hemorrhoids goes to 4-2 in the closest game of the week 94-92.
We are half way through the season and still have a nice balance to the league. Nobody is out of it, but there are a couple who are about to go a lap down. Now that Horny has scored, will he make a second half run? Is Boof done for the year like the Cowboys? Is squiggy going to run away with it all? This is a big week of byes - lots of talent on the bench. Should be interesting.
Squiggy
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
What a weekend......
Now that was a much better weekend of football. Some great college games. Lots of upsets. Lots of disappointment. Lots of ballin! Before we get to the football games, and the epic 666 matchups from this weekend, I want to let you know whats up at the Squiggy household. Going to be kind of a short SMACK this weekend because the McGuigans are headin down south. Old south. Deep south. NASCAR south baby! Many of you know, but some may not, that my oldest boy has been fighting a pretty serious illness. He is doing very well, much better than six months ago, his spirits are awesome, and he is enjoyin life. He is going to enjoy life even more starting tomorrow, because we begin his Make a Wish Journey. Gettin picked up at 6:15 am for a quick trip to the airport, then boarding a US Airways flight to Philly and a short hop to Concord North Carolina. Not sure if any of y'all are NASCAR fans, but I am a NASCAR nut. Have been for quite awhile. My sons both enjoy watchin the left turns also, and even my wife is into it. Riley's first wish was to fly a plane - which was granted by KC, Boof, Bingman and a couple of other dear friends earlier this summer. His next wish was to go on a cruise, but the Doc ruled that one out. So, with a bit of a nudge from his old man, he picked going to a Cup race as his ultimate wish. Now we are off to Charlotte to watch the big boys trade paint, meet some guy named Dale Jr, and have a ball. Make a Wish is a great organization. I have felt somewhat guilty about taking part in this, because we have the means to do it without any help (thank ya lord - and Oregon State), but we never would have done this trip without them. I plan on making a donation to them, but I won't be able to give them enough to compensate for the trip we are taking - because it's going to be a once in a lifetime experience for both Riley and my youngest son Trevor. Anyway - if you are looking at cutting your tax bill this is a great place to give a little money. I can only imagine how other families in trying situations appreciate their efforts. Now, back to FUTBALL!!!
The Bitch slap of the Century lasted............................................all of one week!
Double. As in double Bitch slap. Double points. Double the pleasure and Double the pain. MeSoHorny stays perfect and is in the running to challenge my Lions for a perfect season. Brees continues to play sub-par ball, but did manage to get double digits - as did Steve Smith. After that. Nothin. Red Dragons just rolls up the points. Rivers, Austin, Johnson and a kicker (no shit) all busted the 20 pt mark. The Giants Def, Crapbtree and Santana Moss were double digits. I think Dragons went a bit overboard this weekend, and assume he reached the high point in his season. Red Dragons goes to 3-2 and MeSoHorny falls to 0-5 in the biggest ass-kicking in history,,,,,,,,155 to 77.
The most shocking game of the year
Badgers, similar to the Steelers, had managed to make it through the first four games 3-1. Most of his bench was unavailable due to various felonies, sins and some amount of greed. This was the week that he got them back. Big Bad Ben is out, but Big nice Ben is back. Holmes is back. Badgers was ready to start his drive to the Superbowl.......next week. This was never a game. Not even close. Badgers scored double digits on his defense and that was it. He didn't start Ben - but it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Rhoids got a stellar game from Loyd, a solid game from Benson (in a loss) and topped the century mark. He didn't need that much. Both teams go to 3-2 as Hemorrhoids punks Badgers 101 to 55
Time for a name change - from Boof Licks to..........................Boof sucks!
Any of you guys seen the movie Aviator? Boof kinda reminds me of the plane that Howard was building halfway through the movie. Took off great. Flew great. Set a speed record and then.......crashed into the 'hood. Boof busted outta the gate fast and furious this year. He was averaging over 125 points the first two games and cruised to a 2-0 start. Then the crash. Boof Licks got 30 plus from Forte (which woulda helped a ton last week) early in the day and was probably feeling pretty good. Then the Rams got way behind the Lions which took Jackson out of the picture, Ryan couldn't do squat against the Browns and he got bubkus from Clayton (hurt), Manningham and Olsen. Thrombic Acid (early season favorite for coach of the year AND most improved player) got 26 from Smith, 25 from Nicks and 27 from the Oakland Defense. 27 from the Oakland defense. 27. Kinda scary and makes me worried that the Dems might pull out a miracle next month in the elections. Nah. This game was a yawner, and Boof better give his team a pep talk. Maybe call up Singletary and get some pointers McGregor? Thrombic Acid improves to 3-2 and Boof Licks falls to 2-3 after a 130 to 82 fudge packing....
Still Rockin Hard
Morning Missles hit kind of a rough spot the last couple of weeks, and after the morning games it looked pretty dim. MJD is still struggling and couldn't get into double digits even with a high scoring win by the Jags. Looked even worse when he found out that Thomas was a no-go for the 'Aint's, and the Rams defense scored negative points. Didn't help Eli finally scored some points for blokes, Calvin got a TD and the Eagles defense scored 18. But the sun came out in the afternoon. Romo scored points in a very embarrassing Cowboy loss, Floyd exploded for 27, Davis played more like last year and Bush (Michael not Reggie) scored just shy of 20. In the end this one wasn't close either and Missles moved to 3-2. Still, when Floyd, Davis and Michael Bush score all your points it can't make you feel real confident about the future. Morning Missles ambush Ballblokes 127 to 91. Hey Blokes - this be Pro ball, not college. There is no Brigham Young East in pro ball if you know what I mean.
Not all the games sucked............this one was close
I've said it before, and I will say it again. I love when these games come down to Monday night. This week two of the games did just that, and they came right down to the end. Bloodypulp had a decent game from the best QB in the NFL (per ESPN) Kyle Orton, was probably the only person on the planet happy that Indy could only score FG's, and should have been satisfied with Simm-Walker and Hillis and to only trail OldSkoolers by 8 points going into Monday night. Skoolers got better than he deserved from McNabb, better than he deserved from Britt, Spiller and Lewis to get the small lead. That left Bloodys' Randy Moss the job of outscoring Shonn Greene to secure a win. Everyone figured this would be a high scoring game - Favre slinging it deep and high to Moss all game long. Greene has been a disappointment - with LT getting most of the love from the Jets. But like everything else this year it didn't go according to the script. The Vikes come out with a trick (and illegal) play to start the game and then run the ball the first two series. The Jets come out and give the ball to LT. And give the ball to LT again. And again. Greene couldn't gain any yards, and Moss couldn't catch any balls. By halftime it looked like the only fireworks was going to be the storm that delayed the start of the game. But then, BOOM, Moss catches a bit of fire, scores a TD and pulls Bloodypulp to the lead late. The teach was trying to decide which one of his students to abuse on Tuesday when Greene - out of nowhere - busts a TD run and seals the deal. Greene. Shonn. Shonn Greene. It makes me sick. Great game, and both teams go to 2-3. OldSkoolers gets DAMN lucky and trips up Bloodypulp 107 to 102.
Missed it by "that" much
Wow. I couched my heart out. Started Rodgers over Manning - right move. Started Harvin - right move. Started Owens - right move. Picked up the Bears Defense - right move. Picked up Shockey - right move. Started Jones - right move. Only move I regret is starting Dez Bryant who got nicked up early. Death Panels? He sticks with Susihi - zero points. Sticks with Portis -zero points. Two players with zero points. How could I lose????? Well Ray Rice trumps Owens 28 to 16. Roddy White and McCoy trump Jones and Addai (out in 3rd Q) by 15. Roy Williams has another good game in a losing effort with 16 which coupled with Gates' 15 negates the Bears def 18 points. Add it all up and Squiggy is down by 20 points going into Monday night with Percy Harvin and LT versus FAVra. So, how could MacAttack pull this out. Give the ball to LT for a hundred and a TD, get points off of returns from Harvin, and - God forbid - if Farve does throw TD's let them go Harvins direction. I had about as much chance as South Carolina. As much chance as OSU. Slim, but possible. The game started pretty good, LT was the work horse, the Jets were scoring on FG's, which meant return yardage for Harvin and Brett had about 40 yards of passing at halftime. I couldn't stand watching the 666 game on the computer, but figured I had cut the Commish's lead in half. What I needed was an LT touchdown. What I got was two Harvin touches - but also a Moss TD. Trying to do the math in my head - I figured it was close. I needed LT. Needed a TD. And I got close, some short dark skinned dude whose number started with a 2 DID score a TD. But it wasn't LT, it was Greene. Then Farve threw a pick. Then a fumble (recovered by the Vikes). At the end of the game I figured it was plus or minus a point. I was close - it was only 1.5 points. The wrong way too. And I remember a 15 yard LT run called back for a holding call...........This one is another ESPN instant classic. I can't believe I lost with two of Death Panels guys out. And to lose after scoring 130 points........well, it was a great game and a good go Commish. Suishi must be your lucky charm 'cause you have won three games without him scoring a single point. Just like the real league, 666 has no unbeaten teams left as MacAttack goes to 4-1 and Death Panels miraculously goes to 3-2 with a nail biting 132 to 131 victory. Double Damn.
Not my best SMACK - but getting ready for the big trip. This is looking like a wild year in the NFL. No body would have thought that NO, Minn, Dallas and GB would be looking vulnerable this early in the season. About the only team living up to the pre-season hype is the Jets. But there is a lot of football to go. Look for a bonus NASCAR blog later in the week if I get some time. Oh - least I forget - How 'bout dem Beavs!!!!!
Squiggy
The Bitch slap of the Century lasted............................................all of one week!
Double. As in double Bitch slap. Double points. Double the pleasure and Double the pain. MeSoHorny stays perfect and is in the running to challenge my Lions for a perfect season. Brees continues to play sub-par ball, but did manage to get double digits - as did Steve Smith. After that. Nothin. Red Dragons just rolls up the points. Rivers, Austin, Johnson and a kicker (no shit) all busted the 20 pt mark. The Giants Def, Crapbtree and Santana Moss were double digits. I think Dragons went a bit overboard this weekend, and assume he reached the high point in his season. Red Dragons goes to 3-2 and MeSoHorny falls to 0-5 in the biggest ass-kicking in history,,,,,,,,155 to 77.
The most shocking game of the year
Badgers, similar to the Steelers, had managed to make it through the first four games 3-1. Most of his bench was unavailable due to various felonies, sins and some amount of greed. This was the week that he got them back. Big Bad Ben is out, but Big nice Ben is back. Holmes is back. Badgers was ready to start his drive to the Superbowl.......next week. This was never a game. Not even close. Badgers scored double digits on his defense and that was it. He didn't start Ben - but it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Rhoids got a stellar game from Loyd, a solid game from Benson (in a loss) and topped the century mark. He didn't need that much. Both teams go to 3-2 as Hemorrhoids punks Badgers 101 to 55
Time for a name change - from Boof Licks to..........................Boof sucks!
Any of you guys seen the movie Aviator? Boof kinda reminds me of the plane that Howard was building halfway through the movie. Took off great. Flew great. Set a speed record and then.......crashed into the 'hood. Boof busted outta the gate fast and furious this year. He was averaging over 125 points the first two games and cruised to a 2-0 start. Then the crash. Boof Licks got 30 plus from Forte (which woulda helped a ton last week) early in the day and was probably feeling pretty good. Then the Rams got way behind the Lions which took Jackson out of the picture, Ryan couldn't do squat against the Browns and he got bubkus from Clayton (hurt), Manningham and Olsen. Thrombic Acid (early season favorite for coach of the year AND most improved player) got 26 from Smith, 25 from Nicks and 27 from the Oakland Defense. 27 from the Oakland defense. 27. Kinda scary and makes me worried that the Dems might pull out a miracle next month in the elections. Nah. This game was a yawner, and Boof better give his team a pep talk. Maybe call up Singletary and get some pointers McGregor? Thrombic Acid improves to 3-2 and Boof Licks falls to 2-3 after a 130 to 82 fudge packing....
Still Rockin Hard
Morning Missles hit kind of a rough spot the last couple of weeks, and after the morning games it looked pretty dim. MJD is still struggling and couldn't get into double digits even with a high scoring win by the Jags. Looked even worse when he found out that Thomas was a no-go for the 'Aint's, and the Rams defense scored negative points. Didn't help Eli finally scored some points for blokes, Calvin got a TD and the Eagles defense scored 18. But the sun came out in the afternoon. Romo scored points in a very embarrassing Cowboy loss, Floyd exploded for 27, Davis played more like last year and Bush (Michael not Reggie) scored just shy of 20. In the end this one wasn't close either and Missles moved to 3-2. Still, when Floyd, Davis and Michael Bush score all your points it can't make you feel real confident about the future. Morning Missles ambush Ballblokes 127 to 91. Hey Blokes - this be Pro ball, not college. There is no Brigham Young East in pro ball if you know what I mean.
Not all the games sucked............this one was close
I've said it before, and I will say it again. I love when these games come down to Monday night. This week two of the games did just that, and they came right down to the end. Bloodypulp had a decent game from the best QB in the NFL (per ESPN) Kyle Orton, was probably the only person on the planet happy that Indy could only score FG's, and should have been satisfied with Simm-Walker and Hillis and to only trail OldSkoolers by 8 points going into Monday night. Skoolers got better than he deserved from McNabb, better than he deserved from Britt, Spiller and Lewis to get the small lead. That left Bloodys' Randy Moss the job of outscoring Shonn Greene to secure a win. Everyone figured this would be a high scoring game - Favre slinging it deep and high to Moss all game long. Greene has been a disappointment - with LT getting most of the love from the Jets. But like everything else this year it didn't go according to the script. The Vikes come out with a trick (and illegal) play to start the game and then run the ball the first two series. The Jets come out and give the ball to LT. And give the ball to LT again. And again. Greene couldn't gain any yards, and Moss couldn't catch any balls. By halftime it looked like the only fireworks was going to be the storm that delayed the start of the game. But then, BOOM, Moss catches a bit of fire, scores a TD and pulls Bloodypulp to the lead late. The teach was trying to decide which one of his students to abuse on Tuesday when Greene - out of nowhere - busts a TD run and seals the deal. Greene. Shonn. Shonn Greene. It makes me sick. Great game, and both teams go to 2-3. OldSkoolers gets DAMN lucky and trips up Bloodypulp 107 to 102.
Missed it by "that" much
Wow. I couched my heart out. Started Rodgers over Manning - right move. Started Harvin - right move. Started Owens - right move. Picked up the Bears Defense - right move. Picked up Shockey - right move. Started Jones - right move. Only move I regret is starting Dez Bryant who got nicked up early. Death Panels? He sticks with Susihi - zero points. Sticks with Portis -zero points. Two players with zero points. How could I lose????? Well Ray Rice trumps Owens 28 to 16. Roddy White and McCoy trump Jones and Addai (out in 3rd Q) by 15. Roy Williams has another good game in a losing effort with 16 which coupled with Gates' 15 negates the Bears def 18 points. Add it all up and Squiggy is down by 20 points going into Monday night with Percy Harvin and LT versus FAVra. So, how could MacAttack pull this out. Give the ball to LT for a hundred and a TD, get points off of returns from Harvin, and - God forbid - if Farve does throw TD's let them go Harvins direction. I had about as much chance as South Carolina. As much chance as OSU. Slim, but possible. The game started pretty good, LT was the work horse, the Jets were scoring on FG's, which meant return yardage for Harvin and Brett had about 40 yards of passing at halftime. I couldn't stand watching the 666 game on the computer, but figured I had cut the Commish's lead in half. What I needed was an LT touchdown. What I got was two Harvin touches - but also a Moss TD. Trying to do the math in my head - I figured it was close. I needed LT. Needed a TD. And I got close, some short dark skinned dude whose number started with a 2 DID score a TD. But it wasn't LT, it was Greene. Then Farve threw a pick. Then a fumble (recovered by the Vikes). At the end of the game I figured it was plus or minus a point. I was close - it was only 1.5 points. The wrong way too. And I remember a 15 yard LT run called back for a holding call...........This one is another ESPN instant classic. I can't believe I lost with two of Death Panels guys out. And to lose after scoring 130 points........well, it was a great game and a good go Commish. Suishi must be your lucky charm 'cause you have won three games without him scoring a single point. Just like the real league, 666 has no unbeaten teams left as MacAttack goes to 4-1 and Death Panels miraculously goes to 3-2 with a nail biting 132 to 131 victory. Double Damn.
Not my best SMACK - but getting ready for the big trip. This is looking like a wild year in the NFL. No body would have thought that NO, Minn, Dallas and GB would be looking vulnerable this early in the season. About the only team living up to the pre-season hype is the Jets. But there is a lot of football to go. Look for a bonus NASCAR blog later in the week if I get some time. Oh - least I forget - How 'bout dem Beavs!!!!!
Squiggy
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
What a pathetic weekend of Football......
Really. It was pathetic. A couple of decent college games (including my Beavers against the Sun Devils) but mainly garbage. A few close Pro games, but the close games shoulda been blow outs and the blow outs shoulda been close. St Louis versus Seattle - shoulda been close - not. New Orleans versus Carolina - shoulda been a blow out, but it was a last second win. Indy versus Jacksonville - blow out city, except Jacksonville kicks a late 59 yard field goal to win. But we still had Sunday night Football on NBC and, of course, a Monday night game that could go either way. Nope. Monday night was a disaster, unless of course, you were betting on NE to win (which I was) and/or started the Pats defense (nobody had em). Miami can't hold onto the ball. Miami can't kick a punt. Miami can't cover a kickoff. Miami can't win. What a yawner. But compared to the Sunday night game, the Dolphins versus Pats was awesome. Which brings on a RANT........
I have always loved watching football whether live or on TV, college or Pro. I like College because its so raw and unpredictable. You never know whats going to happen. Who's going to be the next superstar. Which team is going to get it all together on any given weekend and pull out a win that NOBODY could see coming. I love watching players and teams grow up. And I love the fact that it changes year after year after year. I love the Pro game also, but for a different reason. The Pro's play the game as a job. They know what they have to do. They know the risks. They get the fame and they (finally) get the money. But they also are expected to play the game and play the game hard. As great as it is, the fact that the Lions can play the Packers to late in the fourth quarter is not unexpected - it's what they are paid to do. No different than the rest of us pros. In college we all got drunk, got stoned, got laid (well, not all of us) and slowly grew into our potential. Then we all turn Pro. We get paid. We grow up. We perform. Except - not anymore. The main reason I love watching Football (or any sports) now a days is because its a great diversion and it helps to watch TRUE pro's do incredible things. Thats why its so depressing to watch bad big games. Its painful to watch these guys perform so badly, because thats what you see everyday in the rest of the Pro world. We endlessly debate raising taxes on a few, with minimal impact, while ignoring our massive deficit . The firing of a lame CNN talking head gets more attention than the fact that the second biggest economy in the world has followed in the footsteps of the biggest economy in the world in quantitative easing - otherwise referred to as the Madoff method. We got so lazy that we couldn't do the paperwork on mortgages. Engineers can't figure out contingency plans when drilling 5 miles under the ocean. To top it all off, we have an election coming up and Allah help us whoever wins, because most of em runnin seem about as prepared as college kids. They ain't the Pros. We need the Pros. Which is why I hate watchin the Pros play bad, because if the Pros can't do it its the doom of our future. Our childrens future. Damn, did y'all know that China cut Japan off from rare earth metals, and the Japs folded.........
So I was looking forward to a really good Sunday night game to take my mind off of all these weighty matters, and what I got instead was the Bear market I've been predicting for over a year. This would be da Bear market, which was not what I expected when I doubled up my bets taking Chicago on the money line. Come on, this was easy. Big brother had just schooled little Manning two weeks ago, and the mighty Titans had schooled them last Sunday. Chicago was undefeated. They had just come off a win against the Packers. They can run. They can catch. The defense was back. Should be a good game, and a reasonable chance that Chicago could pull it out...............till Cutler stepped back in the pocket and got slammed. Then stepped back again and got slammed. Again, and again and again. But it was still only 3 to zip at half time. I don't know which was more pathetic, the nine sacks one pick and umpteen fumbles that Cutler had, or the fact that the Giants could only score three points off them? So, I figure there is no way that Cutler could play THAT bad in the second half. Just had to get his senses. Get the ball out. Maybe run it once in awhile to Forte (eh Boof Licks), I was right, Cutler couldn't play any worse if he didn't play at all. Instead, he sat it out. He quit. It wasn't worth it. I have sources that say the conversation went somethin like this -
Cutler: Coach Smith - I can't play any more 'cause I am concussed.
Lovey - If anybody's gonna be cussin around here its me.
Cutler - Coach, I ain't cussin. I've got a headache. I'm concussed.
Lovey - You've got a headache? Wait till you see the film, then your really going to have a headache. We need you to go out an lead this team.
Cutler - Nah. Can't go. Let Collins play.
Lovey - Who? You mean Collinsworth - he's in the broadcast both. Kerry Collins ain't on the team is he Mike?
Martz - I think he's talking about Todd Collins.
Lovey - Who the hell is Todd Collins. What happened to Orton?
Martz - Todds the guy who carries the clip board and gets water. Kinda tall and skinny. Orton still sucks and plays for Denver.
Lovey - Well - this Collins dude can't be any worse the JC. Where is he.
Martz - We sent out the defense to drag him back. He was screaming, but a little injection should do the trick......
Lovey - We are screwed........
Martz - Hey - I won a SuperBowl with a bag boy from Wallmart. Its the scheme that counts Lovey.....
Cutler - Can I stay here and play Madden10? We can let Hanie carry the clip board.
Lovey - Now, who the hell is Hanie?
Martz - He's the guy who carries the bags. Don't worry Lovey - remember the bag boy.
And the rest is history. We are a quarter of the way through the season and what do we know? Indy has a great QB, and can score at will. But so can the other team. Chicago is obviously a fraud. The Giants....please. NO isn't scoring. Arizona needs the bag boy back. The winner in the NFC west could be sup 500. KC is undefeated for one more week. The Packers lose ugly, and win ugly on back to back weeks. Dallas - right. The Vikings - ya, you betcha. That leaves us with the Jets, the Pats, and - most impressively, the Steelers as the best teams in football. Lottsa time left - but I don't think any team in the 2010 season will go down in history. And next year we might have a strike.........
But I am being much too depressing here. Its time for some SMACK - but like the real games, the 666 league games were pretty lame as well. Too mix things up I will go in reverse order this week - leaving the Bitch slap for last......
This was the best game we had.............................................but it was over early
How many close games is MeSoHorny going to lose? My god, its like dating a women for 4 weeks and knowing your goin' score this weekend - only to be put off once again because its that time of the month. Horny was only down by 5 points going into the Sunday night game and had Steve Smith left to play. He got another sub par performance from Brees, and the only guy on his team to score was the best player at Coastal Carolina (is that a college or a high school?) named Tolbert who had 33 rushing yards going into this Sunday. Ballblokes wasn't doing much better going into Sunday night, with only Calvin Johnson, the Eagle D and the Chargers kicker scoring much. But he had Eli. Who throws to Smith. Which begs the question - is it possible for a wide out to outscore his QB by five points in a game? Surprisingly the answer is yes. At one point in the game Horny had pulled to within 2 points. All he needed was a fumble and/or pick, and then any TD to go Smiths way. Didn't happen, but was a way closer game than it should have been in the end. Eli continues to struggle - but he is better than Cutler.......MeSoHorny stays perfect and Ballblokes (congrats on the rider cup thing) goes to 0.500 with a 84 to 81 "victory".
This was the second best game we had...................................and it wasn't good
If Red Dragons or OldSkollers had been playing anyone else but a couple of teams this weekend (see above), they would have both lost. But hey, nothin wrong with a good defensive struggle - MacAttack has won a couple of those before. Problem with a defensive struggle is there isn't much smack material. Dragons had a 23 point lead heading into the Monday night game on the back of a decent games from Rivers and McFadden and another great game from Keller - but was going against Ronnnie Brown and the kicker for the Pats. Skoolers finally got points from Wayne, but McNabb didn't score much in leading the Native Americans to victory over the Eagles and again got blanked by Sims-Walker. Need to bench that dude. Grostkowski scored well, but Ronnie Brown was overshadowed by an old school running back named Ricky (I like the smell of weed) Williams. Lots of the old guys did well this week, and showed the XYZ generation how to ball. Final wasn't that close - but still one of the closest of the week. Pity the kids in OldSkoolers classes - Final.................Red Dragons drops OldSkoolers 83 to 78
And we are back with Corn on the.......................................................Kolb
This one was a wipe out because.....The savior of the Eagles. Walking proof that you can redeem yourself of all sin. The man of the moment, Michael Vick - got squished (rhoids words, not mine) at the goal line early in the game and was out. That was pretty much all she wrote. Rhoids scored with the 49ers D (like you can predict that), that old and stoned stud Ricky Williams and Denver's kicker, but this was over early. Kyle Orton proved that Chicago is the Bermuda triangle for QB's by having a great game in a win for Denver, Hillis continues to show he is a baller, and the SD defense absolutely explodes against the hapless (but still league leading) Arizona Cardinals - and he had Bradshaw going into Sunday night and Moss going into Monday night. This was a potential Bitch Slap in other weeks, but Moss dropped a TD and looks like he has checked out on the Pats. Rumor is he is headed to the Vikings, which could be good for Bloodypulp. If Moss had scored, and Williams hadn't this would have been worse. It was bad enough as it was. Bloody pulp whips Hemorrhoids 115 to 93 and both fall to 2-2.
Should have been the most embarrassing loss..............................but wasn't
Detroit is a tough town. Its a tough crowd. There is lots of things along the lines of the Commish's work that need doin. Do you know why a car is worth more than a house in Detroit - because you can drive a car OUTTA the city (forgive me if that is a repeat lame joke). Anyway - I was worried that Death Panels was overwhelmed. No QB on Sunday morning. No Kicker on Sunday morning. Looking like a cake walk for the Boof man. But there was no need to worry. The Commish had a plan. Pick up the QB and kicker for the Monday night game and play with our heads. But the funny thing is....................he would have won with out them. But we shouldn't be surprised. In Death Panels last win he had two players get blanked and his QB (FAVra) only scored a single point. So how much help would Henne and Carpenter be? Not bad - a total of 20 points, but he didn't need that many. Boof Licks got 21 from Mendenhall and, well - he got 21 from Mendenhall. Sure, Ryan outscored Cutler, but so did my eighth grade defensive lineman Trevor "the tank" McGuigan! Death Panels got what is becoming a hoohumm 27 points from Gates, 15 from McCoy and 15 from the GB defense to put this one away. Boof Licks couldn't even manage to take it to the MNF game...............Final is Boof goes splat and Death Panels goes to 0.500 with a 109 to 78 drubbing.
It was all going as planned...................................................and then Lehman Brothers Failed
Thrombic Acid is developing a pattern. It could be on purpose. It could be luck. It could be fate. Whatever it is, Acid is developing a habit of having opponents who are done early and still having a couple of stud players left to play. Last week he almost pulled off a victory (probably should have), and it was shaping up to be the same thing this week. Badgers scored just shy of a 100 points on the back of Arian Foster (this years version of Miles Austin), a decent game from Schaub and Gore and points from everyone else but some kid named Naanee (which is a 3-D movie isn't it) but looked vulnerable. Thrombic had Cutler. Thrombic had Marshall. Thrombic had Nicks. That should have been enough to make it close. Nicks did his job. Marshall didn't. And Cutler. Well, I've said enough about the Jay man. Thrombic - all I can say is you are lucky we don't have the automatic backup rule, because I think Collins and Haine would have increased the NEGATIVE points you got from your QB. This should have. This would have. This WAS a Bitch Slap - just not the official one. Buy Carter a beer. Final score Badgers goes to 3-1 with his bench now alive (Roth and Holmes) by destroying Thrombic Acid 96 to 64.
And the BITCH SLAP is................................................Delicious
Sometimes you can get to hyped for a game. To amped up. Makes you over-run the play. Not stay home. Overthrow it. Stub the chip shot. You get the point. Morning Missles was definitely amped for this game. Sure, he was nervous about his rookie QB - but he did great, scoring 22 points and negating MacAttacks #1 draft picks' 23. MJD finally busts a game and scores what a number 1 pick should with 24 points. But Pierre was out, Hester had Cutler, Collins and Haine throwing to him (in a manner of speaking) and Welker couldn't find the end zone. Morning Missles did OK - could have won several contests with his point total, but he wasn't playing some kid here. He was playin MacAttack. Squiggy. The SMACK king. Sure, he was confused about who he picked as QB - mistaking Cassal for Bradford - but they are both White and not very good, so that is forgivable. What he hadn't counted on was last minute lineup changes by me. I started old man Owens. Started old man Tomlinson. Started Addai at the last minute. Started Brandon Tate, and continued to ride the back of Austin Collie. My guys scored the first two TD's of the weekend! Only mistake I made was picking up and starting the Indy Defense (which is an oxymoron). Add it up and you get the Bitch slap of the year. Hell, it might be the Bitch slap of the decade (actually it is). Sorry KC - I enjoyed that way too much. You didn't just hear the Fat lady singin - she was screaming. Final..MacAttack stays perfect and Missles falls to 2-2, 144 to 85.
We are a third of the way through our season. The league has a nice symmetry to it. One 4-0 team, one 3-1 team, eight 2-2 teams, one 1-3 team and one 0-4 team. There is a lot of Football left, nobody is out of it yet. Still a lot of byes to get through. Injuries to come. Players to heal. Nothing is finished just yet, but I like where its all headed. GL losers........
Squiggy
I have always loved watching football whether live or on TV, college or Pro. I like College because its so raw and unpredictable. You never know whats going to happen. Who's going to be the next superstar. Which team is going to get it all together on any given weekend and pull out a win that NOBODY could see coming. I love watching players and teams grow up. And I love the fact that it changes year after year after year. I love the Pro game also, but for a different reason. The Pro's play the game as a job. They know what they have to do. They know the risks. They get the fame and they (finally) get the money. But they also are expected to play the game and play the game hard. As great as it is, the fact that the Lions can play the Packers to late in the fourth quarter is not unexpected - it's what they are paid to do. No different than the rest of us pros. In college we all got drunk, got stoned, got laid (well, not all of us) and slowly grew into our potential. Then we all turn Pro. We get paid. We grow up. We perform. Except - not anymore. The main reason I love watching Football (or any sports) now a days is because its a great diversion and it helps to watch TRUE pro's do incredible things. Thats why its so depressing to watch bad big games. Its painful to watch these guys perform so badly, because thats what you see everyday in the rest of the Pro world. We endlessly debate raising taxes on a few, with minimal impact, while ignoring our massive deficit . The firing of a lame CNN talking head gets more attention than the fact that the second biggest economy in the world has followed in the footsteps of the biggest economy in the world in quantitative easing - otherwise referred to as the Madoff method. We got so lazy that we couldn't do the paperwork on mortgages. Engineers can't figure out contingency plans when drilling 5 miles under the ocean. To top it all off, we have an election coming up and Allah help us whoever wins, because most of em runnin seem about as prepared as college kids. They ain't the Pros. We need the Pros. Which is why I hate watchin the Pros play bad, because if the Pros can't do it its the doom of our future. Our childrens future. Damn, did y'all know that China cut Japan off from rare earth metals, and the Japs folded.........
So I was looking forward to a really good Sunday night game to take my mind off of all these weighty matters, and what I got instead was the Bear market I've been predicting for over a year. This would be da Bear market, which was not what I expected when I doubled up my bets taking Chicago on the money line. Come on, this was easy. Big brother had just schooled little Manning two weeks ago, and the mighty Titans had schooled them last Sunday. Chicago was undefeated. They had just come off a win against the Packers. They can run. They can catch. The defense was back. Should be a good game, and a reasonable chance that Chicago could pull it out...............till Cutler stepped back in the pocket and got slammed. Then stepped back again and got slammed. Again, and again and again. But it was still only 3 to zip at half time. I don't know which was more pathetic, the nine sacks one pick and umpteen fumbles that Cutler had, or the fact that the Giants could only score three points off them? So, I figure there is no way that Cutler could play THAT bad in the second half. Just had to get his senses. Get the ball out. Maybe run it once in awhile to Forte (eh Boof Licks), I was right, Cutler couldn't play any worse if he didn't play at all. Instead, he sat it out. He quit. It wasn't worth it. I have sources that say the conversation went somethin like this -
Cutler: Coach Smith - I can't play any more 'cause I am concussed.
Lovey - If anybody's gonna be cussin around here its me.
Cutler - Coach, I ain't cussin. I've got a headache. I'm concussed.
Lovey - You've got a headache? Wait till you see the film, then your really going to have a headache. We need you to go out an lead this team.
Cutler - Nah. Can't go. Let Collins play.
Lovey - Who? You mean Collinsworth - he's in the broadcast both. Kerry Collins ain't on the team is he Mike?
Martz - I think he's talking about Todd Collins.
Lovey - Who the hell is Todd Collins. What happened to Orton?
Martz - Todds the guy who carries the clip board and gets water. Kinda tall and skinny. Orton still sucks and plays for Denver.
Lovey - Well - this Collins dude can't be any worse the JC. Where is he.
Martz - We sent out the defense to drag him back. He was screaming, but a little injection should do the trick......
Lovey - We are screwed........
Martz - Hey - I won a SuperBowl with a bag boy from Wallmart. Its the scheme that counts Lovey.....
Cutler - Can I stay here and play Madden10? We can let Hanie carry the clip board.
Lovey - Now, who the hell is Hanie?
Martz - He's the guy who carries the bags. Don't worry Lovey - remember the bag boy.
And the rest is history. We are a quarter of the way through the season and what do we know? Indy has a great QB, and can score at will. But so can the other team. Chicago is obviously a fraud. The Giants....please. NO isn't scoring. Arizona needs the bag boy back. The winner in the NFC west could be sup 500. KC is undefeated for one more week. The Packers lose ugly, and win ugly on back to back weeks. Dallas - right. The Vikings - ya, you betcha. That leaves us with the Jets, the Pats, and - most impressively, the Steelers as the best teams in football. Lottsa time left - but I don't think any team in the 2010 season will go down in history. And next year we might have a strike.........
But I am being much too depressing here. Its time for some SMACK - but like the real games, the 666 league games were pretty lame as well. Too mix things up I will go in reverse order this week - leaving the Bitch slap for last......
This was the best game we had.............................................but it was over early
How many close games is MeSoHorny going to lose? My god, its like dating a women for 4 weeks and knowing your goin' score this weekend - only to be put off once again because its that time of the month. Horny was only down by 5 points going into the Sunday night game and had Steve Smith left to play. He got another sub par performance from Brees, and the only guy on his team to score was the best player at Coastal Carolina (is that a college or a high school?) named Tolbert who had 33 rushing yards going into this Sunday. Ballblokes wasn't doing much better going into Sunday night, with only Calvin Johnson, the Eagle D and the Chargers kicker scoring much. But he had Eli. Who throws to Smith. Which begs the question - is it possible for a wide out to outscore his QB by five points in a game? Surprisingly the answer is yes. At one point in the game Horny had pulled to within 2 points. All he needed was a fumble and/or pick, and then any TD to go Smiths way. Didn't happen, but was a way closer game than it should have been in the end. Eli continues to struggle - but he is better than Cutler.......MeSoHorny stays perfect and Ballblokes (congrats on the rider cup thing) goes to 0.500 with a 84 to 81 "victory".
This was the second best game we had...................................and it wasn't good
If Red Dragons or OldSkollers had been playing anyone else but a couple of teams this weekend (see above), they would have both lost. But hey, nothin wrong with a good defensive struggle - MacAttack has won a couple of those before. Problem with a defensive struggle is there isn't much smack material. Dragons had a 23 point lead heading into the Monday night game on the back of a decent games from Rivers and McFadden and another great game from Keller - but was going against Ronnnie Brown and the kicker for the Pats. Skoolers finally got points from Wayne, but McNabb didn't score much in leading the Native Americans to victory over the Eagles and again got blanked by Sims-Walker. Need to bench that dude. Grostkowski scored well, but Ronnie Brown was overshadowed by an old school running back named Ricky (I like the smell of weed) Williams. Lots of the old guys did well this week, and showed the XYZ generation how to ball. Final wasn't that close - but still one of the closest of the week. Pity the kids in OldSkoolers classes - Final.................Red Dragons drops OldSkoolers 83 to 78
And we are back with Corn on the.......................................................Kolb
This one was a wipe out because.....The savior of the Eagles. Walking proof that you can redeem yourself of all sin. The man of the moment, Michael Vick - got squished (rhoids words, not mine) at the goal line early in the game and was out. That was pretty much all she wrote. Rhoids scored with the 49ers D (like you can predict that), that old and stoned stud Ricky Williams and Denver's kicker, but this was over early. Kyle Orton proved that Chicago is the Bermuda triangle for QB's by having a great game in a win for Denver, Hillis continues to show he is a baller, and the SD defense absolutely explodes against the hapless (but still league leading) Arizona Cardinals - and he had Bradshaw going into Sunday night and Moss going into Monday night. This was a potential Bitch Slap in other weeks, but Moss dropped a TD and looks like he has checked out on the Pats. Rumor is he is headed to the Vikings, which could be good for Bloodypulp. If Moss had scored, and Williams hadn't this would have been worse. It was bad enough as it was. Bloody pulp whips Hemorrhoids 115 to 93 and both fall to 2-2.
Should have been the most embarrassing loss..............................but wasn't
Detroit is a tough town. Its a tough crowd. There is lots of things along the lines of the Commish's work that need doin. Do you know why a car is worth more than a house in Detroit - because you can drive a car OUTTA the city (forgive me if that is a repeat lame joke). Anyway - I was worried that Death Panels was overwhelmed. No QB on Sunday morning. No Kicker on Sunday morning. Looking like a cake walk for the Boof man. But there was no need to worry. The Commish had a plan. Pick up the QB and kicker for the Monday night game and play with our heads. But the funny thing is....................he would have won with out them. But we shouldn't be surprised. In Death Panels last win he had two players get blanked and his QB (FAVra) only scored a single point. So how much help would Henne and Carpenter be? Not bad - a total of 20 points, but he didn't need that many. Boof Licks got 21 from Mendenhall and, well - he got 21 from Mendenhall. Sure, Ryan outscored Cutler, but so did my eighth grade defensive lineman Trevor "the tank" McGuigan! Death Panels got what is becoming a hoohumm 27 points from Gates, 15 from McCoy and 15 from the GB defense to put this one away. Boof Licks couldn't even manage to take it to the MNF game...............Final is Boof goes splat and Death Panels goes to 0.500 with a 109 to 78 drubbing.
It was all going as planned...................................................and then Lehman Brothers Failed
Thrombic Acid is developing a pattern. It could be on purpose. It could be luck. It could be fate. Whatever it is, Acid is developing a habit of having opponents who are done early and still having a couple of stud players left to play. Last week he almost pulled off a victory (probably should have), and it was shaping up to be the same thing this week. Badgers scored just shy of a 100 points on the back of Arian Foster (this years version of Miles Austin), a decent game from Schaub and Gore and points from everyone else but some kid named Naanee (which is a 3-D movie isn't it) but looked vulnerable. Thrombic had Cutler. Thrombic had Marshall. Thrombic had Nicks. That should have been enough to make it close. Nicks did his job. Marshall didn't. And Cutler. Well, I've said enough about the Jay man. Thrombic - all I can say is you are lucky we don't have the automatic backup rule, because I think Collins and Haine would have increased the NEGATIVE points you got from your QB. This should have. This would have. This WAS a Bitch Slap - just not the official one. Buy Carter a beer. Final score Badgers goes to 3-1 with his bench now alive (Roth and Holmes) by destroying Thrombic Acid 96 to 64.
And the BITCH SLAP is................................................Delicious
Sometimes you can get to hyped for a game. To amped up. Makes you over-run the play. Not stay home. Overthrow it. Stub the chip shot. You get the point. Morning Missles was definitely amped for this game. Sure, he was nervous about his rookie QB - but he did great, scoring 22 points and negating MacAttacks #1 draft picks' 23. MJD finally busts a game and scores what a number 1 pick should with 24 points. But Pierre was out, Hester had Cutler, Collins and Haine throwing to him (in a manner of speaking) and Welker couldn't find the end zone. Morning Missles did OK - could have won several contests with his point total, but he wasn't playing some kid here. He was playin MacAttack. Squiggy. The SMACK king. Sure, he was confused about who he picked as QB - mistaking Cassal for Bradford - but they are both White and not very good, so that is forgivable. What he hadn't counted on was last minute lineup changes by me. I started old man Owens. Started old man Tomlinson. Started Addai at the last minute. Started Brandon Tate, and continued to ride the back of Austin Collie. My guys scored the first two TD's of the weekend! Only mistake I made was picking up and starting the Indy Defense (which is an oxymoron). Add it up and you get the Bitch slap of the year. Hell, it might be the Bitch slap of the decade (actually it is). Sorry KC - I enjoyed that way too much. You didn't just hear the Fat lady singin - she was screaming. Final..MacAttack stays perfect and Missles falls to 2-2, 144 to 85.
We are a third of the way through our season. The league has a nice symmetry to it. One 4-0 team, one 3-1 team, eight 2-2 teams, one 1-3 team and one 0-4 team. There is a lot of Football left, nobody is out of it yet. Still a lot of byes to get through. Injuries to come. Players to heal. Nothing is finished just yet, but I like where its all headed. GL losers........
Squiggy
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