This was a big week. This weekend pushed us way past the half way point in the season and brings into clear focus how and for whom the next 5 weeks will be vitally important. It is also a very important week for our great nation. The first mid-term election. The first gut check. The mark of the halfway point for the new(er) administration. Which way is it going to go? How will the second half of the season play out? Now this can still go either way - both for some of you losers in the bottom half of the 666 league, and for our President and our nation. My rant that was lost last week was going to be all about how the NFL doesn't stand for the Not For Long league, but really stands for the No Friggen Losers League - because there are really no losers in the NFL. They are all good. But that was last week, and it was lost to the vagrancy's of the digital world. This is a new week. This week is about what kind of "team" is America. Are we playing together? Are we about winning? Do we want to work as a unit for a common good? To put it in Futball terms - are we the New England Patriots or are we the Minnesota Vikings? Can't get much clearer than that. Not to get all bent out of shape - but tonight's election will have a real impact on which team we turn out to be. Patriots or Vikings? Often times you hear that a team is only as good as its talent. Speed. Size. Passion. Fame. Fortune. However, more than almost any other competitive sport or profession, the NFL teaches us that there is no magic bullet. Its not just talent. Its not just Passion. Its not just money. Its not just a system. It's all of that and more, thoughtfully put together, with a common goal that is pursued with intense vigor. There is no formula. There is no right answer. There is just the results. Scoreboard. Baby. So, again, are we a nation more like the New England Patriots or the Minnesota Vikings? Do we devise a plan, a system, a common belief on how the game should be played, regardless of the name on the back of the Jersey - believe in it, execute it and win like the Patriots? Or do abandon the system, pick up the big name, wing it in the pocket, blame each other and change direction at the turn of a dime like the Vikings? Do we not worry about how famous each individual is, who gets the credit for the win and approach each game with a focus and intensity that, by itself, is down right scary to whoever we are playing - Or - are we more worried about our legacy. About a record. About our stats. About who's fault it is when we lose. Do we respond. Or do we give up. Do we whine about all the talent on the team, how close the loses were, how things could so easily be different. Or do we just get it done. Obama. Farve. Brady. We don't yet know how it will turn out for Obama. We are getting a taste of how it will turn out this year for Brady and Farve. To finish the analogy, the real question is how will it turn out for Obama, and by extension our nation - like Brady or like Farve. New England with names like Woodhead,Gromokowski, Tate, BenJarvis Green-Ellis and Ham, and a bunch of no-name defensive players - or Minnesota with Farve, AP, Moss, Harvin etc, etc, etc. Again. Scoreboard. Baby. Will Obama be Brady, walking out of the locker-room, hair long and stylin, goin home to a trophy wife, in a trophy car to a trophy house and confident that another big trophy is comin. Or like Farve. In a cart. Some old guy with a better profile holding his chin with a bandage. In a fetal position. Lookin old. Lookin gray. Lookin done. I hope Obama is more like Brady in the end, but that view of Farve in a fetal position, sucking his thumb on a cart leaving the stadium is just stuck in my head...........
Bloody Wow.......................................................................................................Wow
Not sure what Bloody was drinking. Must have been good. Sure he can't remember. What we can all help him remember, however, is how badly he has gotten his ass whooped. With half a team. And it could have been worse. Really. Without Orton (again - Really) and Lance Moore, I think Bloody would have been in single digits! The only good news, if you can call it that, is Bloodypulp could have not got drunk, managed his heart out, made all the right moves - and still would have got the Bitch Slap. Deathpanels (our Dear Commish) is again making a later season run (from Motor City rather than Seattle) and tees off on Bloodypulp this week. Green-Ellis and Ham (24), future hall of famer Gates (18), Stephens-Howling-King (great name for horror books) (17) etc, etc, etc. Most of the time we are rooting late to get to the century mark. This week Bloody was rootin late so he wouldn't get BEAT by the century mark. Mission accomplished......Death Panels double BS's Bloodypulp 133-43.
Not a bad game....................................................................................but not a good one
This should have been a close game, and really wasn't that bad of a beat down. Oldskoolers got a solid effort from his guys. McNabb scored well, and might have done even better if he understood the two minute offense better. If he was in better shape. Or - if they would have left him in the damn game. But that wasn't really the difference (the Lions would have killed that outta shape old man in the last 2 minutes anyway), the difference was Loyd, AP and Witten (again) for Hemmerhoids. Those three more than made up for Sanchez being kept out of the end zone. But the real difference came early - when Britt went down with a hammy. Britt got blanked, and skoolers got beat. Hemorrhoids goes to 6-2 and Oldskoolers falls to 3-5 by a score of 108 to 87.
The two highest scoring teams head to head...................................Put a fork in it Baby!
The most prolific scoring teams in the league to date go head to head. Going to be a track meet. No defense. Points, points and more points. If you were just watching the score, and not looking at the rosters, then you would have thought this was close. Red Dragons was done by Sunday night, and had a 11 point lead going into the MNF game. Had just shy of 100 points. Rivers, CJ, McFadden, Crabtree. All in double digits. But MacAttack had two players left. And they were pretty good. 11 points back after Sunday night with Tate, Mercy Percy, Old man Owens and Dez all doing good. The two guys left - Peyton Manning and Rackers. 'Nough said - and it wasn't even close in the end. MacAttack goes to 7-1 and a lock for the playoffs and Red Dragons falls to 3-5 after losing with plenty of points 115 -95.
MNF finally goes...............................................................................Boof!!!!!!!!
This game had the look of heartbreak written all over it. Boof fighting for his playoff life. Ballblokes was 3-4 and a win would give him some breathing room - but a loss would put him behind Boof based on points. Most of blokes team played early and Calvin Johnson celebrated the return of Stafford with 28 points so Booflicks was quite a bit behind, and it didn't have the look of a high scoring weekend. Brady, Woodhead and Janikdowski helped the cause, but Boof was still down going into Sunday night football. Alas for blokes - he was blessed by the saint(s), when Brees connected with Colston. Blessed by the saints again when they let Mendenhall get the corner and score most of his points on one play. By the end of Sunday nights gane, Booflickes had a small lead with Ballblokes Kevin Walters versus Jacoby Jones left to decide it on MNF. I thought it would be close - until I remembered that Jones returns the kicks, Walters doesn't. In the end it wasn't close, Walters gets blanked and Booflicks wins over Ballblokes and stays alive 97 to 83.
And doooownnnn the stretch they come...................................and Badgers stumbles
These Monday night games are killing me as a smack writer. What ever happened to boring contests like Buffalo versus Seattle. I mean nobody would have anyone from those teams playing and I could get this damned thing written on Sunday. Instead, most weeks are like this one. Badgers had half of his team playing in the Monday night game. Missles had half his team playing for Tampa Bay - which should have meant bitch slap, but they were playing the Cowboys - so Missles got 71 points from them instead - 22 from Blount. That ass. I hate him. Duck. Morning had a HUGH lead going into MNF, and I didn't think Badgers had a chance of making up enough points. I was wrong, especially when Schaub started playing in the second half, Houston didn't give up on the run game and kept Foster involved and before you know it -this one came down to the last play. Schaub TD, Foster TD - or god forbid, a Schaub to Foster TD and Baders win. Schaub interception, though............................Morning Missles prevails over Badgers 114 to 106.
Goooooooaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllll.........................................................Horny wins!
This looked to be a close game, and it turned out to be. Thrombic Acid was done pretty early in the day and had built a double digit lead with a big game from Sims-Walker, and some support from the rest of the squad - but Horny still had A Johnson and backup Brown playing on Monday night. Horny was lucky to still have the shot, and needed every point he got from Charles and Tolbert to keep it close. It didn't look good for Horny for much of the Monday game - Schaub was playing bad so Johnson was not scoring, and Hart was doing most of the running for the Colts. But, the Texans and Schaub never gave up, made a nice run on the Colts with Johnson being a key player and pulls out the victory late. MeSoHorny scores again and stays alive, nipping Thrombic Acid 94 to 91.
What a battle for the last three spots of the playoffs. Five teams at 3-5 and two at 2-6. Seven teams and three spots. The other five teams should be a lock, barring a major turn around. Getting to the playoffs is all the regular season is about. Once your in the playoffs, its a brand new season, Something the Republicans need to understand after tonight's elections. The Dem's still control the big house and the summer mansion. The Republicans now control the servants housing. But, they are in the game - which is all any of us can ask for day to day..........
Squiggy
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
The Ghost post - sorry.
Sorry fellas (or whoever reads this), but I deleted my post by accident just when I was finished. Pissed me off, because I thought it was pretty good. Was just putting the finishing touches on it and - BAM - off to oblivion. Tried for over an hour to figure out how to get it back, but all the wonderful prose and thoughts are now lost in the vapors. Didn't have the energy or motivation to try to re-write it. It doesn't work that way with me. Anyway - was a helluva a weekend of football with some great games. To bad for Boof Licks that a back up QB ALWAYS falls back on his tight end - the loss of Romo hurt Boof Licks more than it hurt Morning Missles. Turns out the closest game of the week was Old Skoolers nipping Thrombic Acid in the "Nicks" of time. The Bitch Slap should have been MacAttack over Ballblokes, but was Badgers over MeSoHorny instead.
Again, sorry about the mess up. The playoff battles are settling in - the fight for the last spots is going to be tight. The team making the most of the least is Morning Missles who sits at 5-2 and still hasn't busted 700 points. The team making the least of the most is Red Dragons, who is at 3-4 but has scored the second highest number of points in the league.
Good luck this weekend. Oh - and remember to check out that trade thingy. That be you Thrombic. Bingo. Are you listening???????? Squiggy has three QB's and is itchin to trade one of them. Feel free to make me a decent offer anybody fighting for the last spots in the playoffs.........
Squiggy
Again, sorry about the mess up. The playoff battles are settling in - the fight for the last spots is going to be tight. The team making the most of the least is Morning Missles who sits at 5-2 and still hasn't busted 700 points. The team making the least of the most is Red Dragons, who is at 3-4 but has scored the second highest number of points in the league.
Good luck this weekend. Oh - and remember to check out that trade thingy. That be you Thrombic. Bingo. Are you listening???????? Squiggy has three QB's and is itchin to trade one of them. Feel free to make me a decent offer anybody fighting for the last spots in the playoffs.........
Squiggy
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Bloody Sunday
This was my Nascar weekend so I didn't have the pleasure of watching Sunday Ticket with my usual focus, nor was I able to really keep track of the head to head games as well as I would normally. But it was a grand weekend. It was an experience that will be hard to duplicate. Most of you knuckleheads probably have NO appreciation for Nascar. For real racin. Put your foot to the floor, get in my way at your own peril, my balls are bigger than yours and if ya gotta piss, well you just do it, kind of racin. This was tremendous stuff, and we all had a ball. But even with all of those distractions. Even though NC has yet to fully discover the concept of Hi Def TV, or more than two TV's in a bar, I could not miss the devestating hits that has the National Football League all in a tizzy. Not to get on a rant here, and having no idea how y'all feel about the issue, but it is another sign of what ails our great nation. Football is a violent game. The better you get, the farther you get, the more violent it becomes. Do great running backs fall down when they get hit? No. Do great QB's drop to the ground when they sniff a rush from the blind side. No. Do defensive lineman bite whatever they have too in order to get a fumble - yes. Does a linebacker pancake Adrian P when he is stood up and ripe for a lick. Yes. Till this last weekend, did a great corner or safety just absolutely light up a wideout crossing the middle to knock the ball out - and the head off for that matter. Yes. But not after today. From now on you must tackle in a more "civilized" way. No more lowering the head to a "defenseless" reciever. Now, I suppose, you tippy toe up, let 'em catch the ball, givem' a bear hug after the catch and then help him up. Hell, might as well dust off any dirt on his jersey. How in the name of Nighttrain is that going to work. There is a reason that Moss doesn't go over the middle. If you don't want to get hit hard, stick to the side line or run deep. Welker - theres a guy who knows how to do it and not get blow'd up. Not to mention that in a bunch of the cases, the defensive player gets the worst of it. Now don't get me wrong, I don't like seeing guys get hurt. Don't like guys careers getting ruined, but there has to be a better way. Playing football at half speed will work about as well as being half pregenant. And what in the world are we going to do about knee injuries. About broken legs. About little pinkies getting torn off. My suggestion is to change the gear - if you make it hurt more to do a helmet to helmet hit, there will be fewer of em. Ever look at the size of the helmet that Bart Star wore.............
But enough about that - we had a bunch of great games in the 666 league this week.
Death Panels sits Suishi...................................and gets Bitch Slapped
Thrombic Acid (Aka Bio Diesel or something last year) had a system last year and stuck to it thick or thin. Stick with what got you wins. Who cares if it makes any sense. Who cares if the other kids tease you. What counts is wins. Don't mess with a system. But the Commish couldn't stick with his system. Probably goaded (or rather reminded) by Morning Missles who was in the Motor City, Death Panels actually started players that played. In every position. He even scored points from every player on his lineup this week, which I think is the first time this season. Hell, he even scored points from his wider recievers. And he got about half as many points this week than he got last week. Calvin J (who was doubtful to play) had 21 for Ballblokes, DeSean Jackson had 20 before he got blow'd up, Jones 17 and Eli's 19 all added up to the ass whoppin of the week. And just to prove a point. To be mean even, Ballblokes put the Slap on Death Panels even though he got ZIP from Kevin Walker who couldn't score a point in Houstons 35-31 win. Ballblokes and Death Panels both go to 3-3 - Final Ballblokes 119 over Death Panels 80.
And POP goes the..................................................Cherry
Finally. MeSoHorny gets the taste of what life is like as a winner. Brought a tear to my eye. Made me want to listen to that golden oldie by the Four Seasons. You know the one - Oh what a night, late December back in 63, what a very special time for me..................All I can say MeSoHorny, is even though the first one is great, and will never be forgotten, it only gets better with practice! Brees (27), A Johnson (20), Gonzales (14) all finally came together to perform like the studs they were suppose to be. The rest of the squad, with the exception of Driver, were respectable and MeSoHorny was finished early. Which often happens the first time........the only defense the Bloody (again happens often the first time - yuk, forget I said that) was decent games from Orton, Bradshaw and Moore. Moss? Well - he didnt get blow'd up so I guess it was a good game. Horny goes to 1-5 and stays in contention, while Bloodypulp falls to 2-4 109 to 77.
What goes up real fast often..........................................gets blow'd up
Not to push the metephors too far, but often when you shoot your wad on one game, you kind of lose ammunition on the next go round. Dragons had an absolutely dominating game last week, and scored twice as many points as half the field, so a downfall was very predictable. Morning Missles had another good scoring performance from Romo (in ANOTHER Cowboy loss), and the Titan Def totallly dominated the Jags (including Missles #1 pick MJD), but the rest of the team was average, and Missles managed to score just shy of a 100. I didn't do the math, but I think Morning Missles has the most consistent scoring team in the league - kind of like the Jets. Nothin flashy, but keeps on winning. Dragons could only score 21 points from his QB and all three wideouts, and wasted one of Chris Johnsons better games to barely bust 70 points. Think this was a temporary set back for Dragons, but I would recommend drinking lotsa water, staying away from MeSoHorny for at least a week, and only watch PBS. That should re-charge ya. Morning Missles vaults to 4-2 and Red Dragons falls to 3-3 = 96 to 72.
Its just not fair, I played a good game, but I cant beat........................Squiggy
Boof Licks was due for a good game. He has talented players. He is a good manager. He is very much like the Cowboys. Close, but still so far away. Brady, Knox, Jackson, Mendenhall all had great games. Forte scored the first TD of the weekend (I think). Manningham scored another TD. Even Janikowski got into double digits. The problem was Shiancoe didn't score. As in didn't have a catch. That and Colstons measly 5 points were the difference. A hundred will win more than it loses Boof man, but not when you are playing the best. LT - another outstanding game. Every week I think of sitting him. Every week I am glad I didn't. Joseph Addai. Gets every Wednesday off, is listed as questionable, I think of sitting him, and am glad I didn't. Percy Harvin, the happiest guy on the Vikings with the Moss deal, and should have scored more points. Austin Collie - I'll take three catchs and a TD a game all year long. And of course Mr. Manning. Bottom line is MacAttack kicks ass again (and wins 25 bucks to boot) and goes to 5-1 with a 117 to 100 victory, dropping Boof Licks to near the bottom at 2-4.
This one hurt
This was a good game. Wish I would have been able to watch the scoring - don't know how neck and neck it was. All I do know is when Flacco, Jennings, Maclin and the NO defense score you 80 plus points you are normally going to win. Especially if your opponent doesn't start a defense! If you score over 120 points you are normally NEVER going to lose, but as we have seen before, it all depends on who you are lucky, or unlucky, enough to draw that week. OldSkoolers plays ANYBODY else this week and he gets a W. But, he was playing the Badgers. Saturday should have been the clue - like when the REAL Badgers knocked out the OTHER OSU, and #1 ranked Buckeyes. It was a Badger weekend. Big Bad Ben comes back (ok, I messed up last week and he was on a bye) and starts slow, but finishes strong. Arian Foster continues his improbable play, Pieree Garcon - who couldn't catch a ball in the first couple of games - has a great game, but the most improbable stud this week was some guy named Torain (which I thought was some kind of religious book). How in the hell can Badgers score almost 50 points from two running backs that nobody had ever heard of before the season. I bet Morning Missles would trade you MJD for either one Badgers. Great games from both, but OldSkooler falls to 2-4 and Badgers goes to 4-2 136 - 122
Wish I could have watched the MNF game..........................this looks like it came down to the wire
Runnin out of steam boys - been a long weekend, but I really wish I had seen the Monday night game. I was on a plane - and didn't even see the highlights. Looks like Hemorrhoids had a big lead going into the game on the back of a great game from Bowe, and decent games from AP, Prater and the SF defense. All Thrombic Acid had left was Bironas for the Titans. Thrombic had another good game from Alex Smith, Jacobs scored the points for the Giants, Meachem had a TD, and Marshall did OK. But his stud, Nicks, probably drew more defensive attention based on his last couple of games and scored less than a point. So Thrombic needed 15 points to catch Rhoids which is hard to do with a kicker. Based on the score it looked like a boring game. Boring for everyone but Acid and Rhoids that is. Still haven't seen any replays, and probably never will, but if I could make up the ending it would be Titan ball on the Jags 20 with the clock ticking. Acid yelling, kick the damn field goal, kick the damn field goal......................but I know that is fantasy only. No way Bingo was even watchin the game. Thrombic Acid falls to a respectable 3-3 and Hemorrhoids goes to 4-2 in the closest game of the week 94-92.
We are half way through the season and still have a nice balance to the league. Nobody is out of it, but there are a couple who are about to go a lap down. Now that Horny has scored, will he make a second half run? Is Boof done for the year like the Cowboys? Is squiggy going to run away with it all? This is a big week of byes - lots of talent on the bench. Should be interesting.
Squiggy
But enough about that - we had a bunch of great games in the 666 league this week.
Death Panels sits Suishi...................................and gets Bitch Slapped
Thrombic Acid (Aka Bio Diesel or something last year) had a system last year and stuck to it thick or thin. Stick with what got you wins. Who cares if it makes any sense. Who cares if the other kids tease you. What counts is wins. Don't mess with a system. But the Commish couldn't stick with his system. Probably goaded (or rather reminded) by Morning Missles who was in the Motor City, Death Panels actually started players that played. In every position. He even scored points from every player on his lineup this week, which I think is the first time this season. Hell, he even scored points from his wider recievers. And he got about half as many points this week than he got last week. Calvin J (who was doubtful to play) had 21 for Ballblokes, DeSean Jackson had 20 before he got blow'd up, Jones 17 and Eli's 19 all added up to the ass whoppin of the week. And just to prove a point. To be mean even, Ballblokes put the Slap on Death Panels even though he got ZIP from Kevin Walker who couldn't score a point in Houstons 35-31 win. Ballblokes and Death Panels both go to 3-3 - Final Ballblokes 119 over Death Panels 80.
And POP goes the..................................................Cherry
Finally. MeSoHorny gets the taste of what life is like as a winner. Brought a tear to my eye. Made me want to listen to that golden oldie by the Four Seasons. You know the one - Oh what a night, late December back in 63, what a very special time for me..................All I can say MeSoHorny, is even though the first one is great, and will never be forgotten, it only gets better with practice! Brees (27), A Johnson (20), Gonzales (14) all finally came together to perform like the studs they were suppose to be. The rest of the squad, with the exception of Driver, were respectable and MeSoHorny was finished early. Which often happens the first time........the only defense the Bloody (again happens often the first time - yuk, forget I said that) was decent games from Orton, Bradshaw and Moore. Moss? Well - he didnt get blow'd up so I guess it was a good game. Horny goes to 1-5 and stays in contention, while Bloodypulp falls to 2-4 109 to 77.
What goes up real fast often..........................................gets blow'd up
Not to push the metephors too far, but often when you shoot your wad on one game, you kind of lose ammunition on the next go round. Dragons had an absolutely dominating game last week, and scored twice as many points as half the field, so a downfall was very predictable. Morning Missles had another good scoring performance from Romo (in ANOTHER Cowboy loss), and the Titan Def totallly dominated the Jags (including Missles #1 pick MJD), but the rest of the team was average, and Missles managed to score just shy of a 100. I didn't do the math, but I think Morning Missles has the most consistent scoring team in the league - kind of like the Jets. Nothin flashy, but keeps on winning. Dragons could only score 21 points from his QB and all three wideouts, and wasted one of Chris Johnsons better games to barely bust 70 points. Think this was a temporary set back for Dragons, but I would recommend drinking lotsa water, staying away from MeSoHorny for at least a week, and only watch PBS. That should re-charge ya. Morning Missles vaults to 4-2 and Red Dragons falls to 3-3 = 96 to 72.
Its just not fair, I played a good game, but I cant beat........................Squiggy
Boof Licks was due for a good game. He has talented players. He is a good manager. He is very much like the Cowboys. Close, but still so far away. Brady, Knox, Jackson, Mendenhall all had great games. Forte scored the first TD of the weekend (I think). Manningham scored another TD. Even Janikowski got into double digits. The problem was Shiancoe didn't score. As in didn't have a catch. That and Colstons measly 5 points were the difference. A hundred will win more than it loses Boof man, but not when you are playing the best. LT - another outstanding game. Every week I think of sitting him. Every week I am glad I didn't. Joseph Addai. Gets every Wednesday off, is listed as questionable, I think of sitting him, and am glad I didn't. Percy Harvin, the happiest guy on the Vikings with the Moss deal, and should have scored more points. Austin Collie - I'll take three catchs and a TD a game all year long. And of course Mr. Manning. Bottom line is MacAttack kicks ass again (and wins 25 bucks to boot) and goes to 5-1 with a 117 to 100 victory, dropping Boof Licks to near the bottom at 2-4.
This one hurt
This was a good game. Wish I would have been able to watch the scoring - don't know how neck and neck it was. All I do know is when Flacco, Jennings, Maclin and the NO defense score you 80 plus points you are normally going to win. Especially if your opponent doesn't start a defense! If you score over 120 points you are normally NEVER going to lose, but as we have seen before, it all depends on who you are lucky, or unlucky, enough to draw that week. OldSkoolers plays ANYBODY else this week and he gets a W. But, he was playing the Badgers. Saturday should have been the clue - like when the REAL Badgers knocked out the OTHER OSU, and #1 ranked Buckeyes. It was a Badger weekend. Big Bad Ben comes back (ok, I messed up last week and he was on a bye) and starts slow, but finishes strong. Arian Foster continues his improbable play, Pieree Garcon - who couldn't catch a ball in the first couple of games - has a great game, but the most improbable stud this week was some guy named Torain (which I thought was some kind of religious book). How in the hell can Badgers score almost 50 points from two running backs that nobody had ever heard of before the season. I bet Morning Missles would trade you MJD for either one Badgers. Great games from both, but OldSkooler falls to 2-4 and Badgers goes to 4-2 136 - 122
Wish I could have watched the MNF game..........................this looks like it came down to the wire
Runnin out of steam boys - been a long weekend, but I really wish I had seen the Monday night game. I was on a plane - and didn't even see the highlights. Looks like Hemorrhoids had a big lead going into the game on the back of a great game from Bowe, and decent games from AP, Prater and the SF defense. All Thrombic Acid had left was Bironas for the Titans. Thrombic had another good game from Alex Smith, Jacobs scored the points for the Giants, Meachem had a TD, and Marshall did OK. But his stud, Nicks, probably drew more defensive attention based on his last couple of games and scored less than a point. So Thrombic needed 15 points to catch Rhoids which is hard to do with a kicker. Based on the score it looked like a boring game. Boring for everyone but Acid and Rhoids that is. Still haven't seen any replays, and probably never will, but if I could make up the ending it would be Titan ball on the Jags 20 with the clock ticking. Acid yelling, kick the damn field goal, kick the damn field goal......................but I know that is fantasy only. No way Bingo was even watchin the game. Thrombic Acid falls to a respectable 3-3 and Hemorrhoids goes to 4-2 in the closest game of the week 94-92.
We are half way through the season and still have a nice balance to the league. Nobody is out of it, but there are a couple who are about to go a lap down. Now that Horny has scored, will he make a second half run? Is Boof done for the year like the Cowboys? Is squiggy going to run away with it all? This is a big week of byes - lots of talent on the bench. Should be interesting.
Squiggy
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
What a weekend......
Now that was a much better weekend of football. Some great college games. Lots of upsets. Lots of disappointment. Lots of ballin! Before we get to the football games, and the epic 666 matchups from this weekend, I want to let you know whats up at the Squiggy household. Going to be kind of a short SMACK this weekend because the McGuigans are headin down south. Old south. Deep south. NASCAR south baby! Many of you know, but some may not, that my oldest boy has been fighting a pretty serious illness. He is doing very well, much better than six months ago, his spirits are awesome, and he is enjoyin life. He is going to enjoy life even more starting tomorrow, because we begin his Make a Wish Journey. Gettin picked up at 6:15 am for a quick trip to the airport, then boarding a US Airways flight to Philly and a short hop to Concord North Carolina. Not sure if any of y'all are NASCAR fans, but I am a NASCAR nut. Have been for quite awhile. My sons both enjoy watchin the left turns also, and even my wife is into it. Riley's first wish was to fly a plane - which was granted by KC, Boof, Bingman and a couple of other dear friends earlier this summer. His next wish was to go on a cruise, but the Doc ruled that one out. So, with a bit of a nudge from his old man, he picked going to a Cup race as his ultimate wish. Now we are off to Charlotte to watch the big boys trade paint, meet some guy named Dale Jr, and have a ball. Make a Wish is a great organization. I have felt somewhat guilty about taking part in this, because we have the means to do it without any help (thank ya lord - and Oregon State), but we never would have done this trip without them. I plan on making a donation to them, but I won't be able to give them enough to compensate for the trip we are taking - because it's going to be a once in a lifetime experience for both Riley and my youngest son Trevor. Anyway - if you are looking at cutting your tax bill this is a great place to give a little money. I can only imagine how other families in trying situations appreciate their efforts. Now, back to FUTBALL!!!
The Bitch slap of the Century lasted............................................all of one week!
Double. As in double Bitch slap. Double points. Double the pleasure and Double the pain. MeSoHorny stays perfect and is in the running to challenge my Lions for a perfect season. Brees continues to play sub-par ball, but did manage to get double digits - as did Steve Smith. After that. Nothin. Red Dragons just rolls up the points. Rivers, Austin, Johnson and a kicker (no shit) all busted the 20 pt mark. The Giants Def, Crapbtree and Santana Moss were double digits. I think Dragons went a bit overboard this weekend, and assume he reached the high point in his season. Red Dragons goes to 3-2 and MeSoHorny falls to 0-5 in the biggest ass-kicking in history,,,,,,,,155 to 77.
The most shocking game of the year
Badgers, similar to the Steelers, had managed to make it through the first four games 3-1. Most of his bench was unavailable due to various felonies, sins and some amount of greed. This was the week that he got them back. Big Bad Ben is out, but Big nice Ben is back. Holmes is back. Badgers was ready to start his drive to the Superbowl.......next week. This was never a game. Not even close. Badgers scored double digits on his defense and that was it. He didn't start Ben - but it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Rhoids got a stellar game from Loyd, a solid game from Benson (in a loss) and topped the century mark. He didn't need that much. Both teams go to 3-2 as Hemorrhoids punks Badgers 101 to 55
Time for a name change - from Boof Licks to..........................Boof sucks!
Any of you guys seen the movie Aviator? Boof kinda reminds me of the plane that Howard was building halfway through the movie. Took off great. Flew great. Set a speed record and then.......crashed into the 'hood. Boof busted outta the gate fast and furious this year. He was averaging over 125 points the first two games and cruised to a 2-0 start. Then the crash. Boof Licks got 30 plus from Forte (which woulda helped a ton last week) early in the day and was probably feeling pretty good. Then the Rams got way behind the Lions which took Jackson out of the picture, Ryan couldn't do squat against the Browns and he got bubkus from Clayton (hurt), Manningham and Olsen. Thrombic Acid (early season favorite for coach of the year AND most improved player) got 26 from Smith, 25 from Nicks and 27 from the Oakland Defense. 27 from the Oakland defense. 27. Kinda scary and makes me worried that the Dems might pull out a miracle next month in the elections. Nah. This game was a yawner, and Boof better give his team a pep talk. Maybe call up Singletary and get some pointers McGregor? Thrombic Acid improves to 3-2 and Boof Licks falls to 2-3 after a 130 to 82 fudge packing....
Still Rockin Hard
Morning Missles hit kind of a rough spot the last couple of weeks, and after the morning games it looked pretty dim. MJD is still struggling and couldn't get into double digits even with a high scoring win by the Jags. Looked even worse when he found out that Thomas was a no-go for the 'Aint's, and the Rams defense scored negative points. Didn't help Eli finally scored some points for blokes, Calvin got a TD and the Eagles defense scored 18. But the sun came out in the afternoon. Romo scored points in a very embarrassing Cowboy loss, Floyd exploded for 27, Davis played more like last year and Bush (Michael not Reggie) scored just shy of 20. In the end this one wasn't close either and Missles moved to 3-2. Still, when Floyd, Davis and Michael Bush score all your points it can't make you feel real confident about the future. Morning Missles ambush Ballblokes 127 to 91. Hey Blokes - this be Pro ball, not college. There is no Brigham Young East in pro ball if you know what I mean.
Not all the games sucked............this one was close
I've said it before, and I will say it again. I love when these games come down to Monday night. This week two of the games did just that, and they came right down to the end. Bloodypulp had a decent game from the best QB in the NFL (per ESPN) Kyle Orton, was probably the only person on the planet happy that Indy could only score FG's, and should have been satisfied with Simm-Walker and Hillis and to only trail OldSkoolers by 8 points going into Monday night. Skoolers got better than he deserved from McNabb, better than he deserved from Britt, Spiller and Lewis to get the small lead. That left Bloodys' Randy Moss the job of outscoring Shonn Greene to secure a win. Everyone figured this would be a high scoring game - Favre slinging it deep and high to Moss all game long. Greene has been a disappointment - with LT getting most of the love from the Jets. But like everything else this year it didn't go according to the script. The Vikes come out with a trick (and illegal) play to start the game and then run the ball the first two series. The Jets come out and give the ball to LT. And give the ball to LT again. And again. Greene couldn't gain any yards, and Moss couldn't catch any balls. By halftime it looked like the only fireworks was going to be the storm that delayed the start of the game. But then, BOOM, Moss catches a bit of fire, scores a TD and pulls Bloodypulp to the lead late. The teach was trying to decide which one of his students to abuse on Tuesday when Greene - out of nowhere - busts a TD run and seals the deal. Greene. Shonn. Shonn Greene. It makes me sick. Great game, and both teams go to 2-3. OldSkoolers gets DAMN lucky and trips up Bloodypulp 107 to 102.
Missed it by "that" much
Wow. I couched my heart out. Started Rodgers over Manning - right move. Started Harvin - right move. Started Owens - right move. Picked up the Bears Defense - right move. Picked up Shockey - right move. Started Jones - right move. Only move I regret is starting Dez Bryant who got nicked up early. Death Panels? He sticks with Susihi - zero points. Sticks with Portis -zero points. Two players with zero points. How could I lose????? Well Ray Rice trumps Owens 28 to 16. Roddy White and McCoy trump Jones and Addai (out in 3rd Q) by 15. Roy Williams has another good game in a losing effort with 16 which coupled with Gates' 15 negates the Bears def 18 points. Add it all up and Squiggy is down by 20 points going into Monday night with Percy Harvin and LT versus FAVra. So, how could MacAttack pull this out. Give the ball to LT for a hundred and a TD, get points off of returns from Harvin, and - God forbid - if Farve does throw TD's let them go Harvins direction. I had about as much chance as South Carolina. As much chance as OSU. Slim, but possible. The game started pretty good, LT was the work horse, the Jets were scoring on FG's, which meant return yardage for Harvin and Brett had about 40 yards of passing at halftime. I couldn't stand watching the 666 game on the computer, but figured I had cut the Commish's lead in half. What I needed was an LT touchdown. What I got was two Harvin touches - but also a Moss TD. Trying to do the math in my head - I figured it was close. I needed LT. Needed a TD. And I got close, some short dark skinned dude whose number started with a 2 DID score a TD. But it wasn't LT, it was Greene. Then Farve threw a pick. Then a fumble (recovered by the Vikes). At the end of the game I figured it was plus or minus a point. I was close - it was only 1.5 points. The wrong way too. And I remember a 15 yard LT run called back for a holding call...........This one is another ESPN instant classic. I can't believe I lost with two of Death Panels guys out. And to lose after scoring 130 points........well, it was a great game and a good go Commish. Suishi must be your lucky charm 'cause you have won three games without him scoring a single point. Just like the real league, 666 has no unbeaten teams left as MacAttack goes to 4-1 and Death Panels miraculously goes to 3-2 with a nail biting 132 to 131 victory. Double Damn.
Not my best SMACK - but getting ready for the big trip. This is looking like a wild year in the NFL. No body would have thought that NO, Minn, Dallas and GB would be looking vulnerable this early in the season. About the only team living up to the pre-season hype is the Jets. But there is a lot of football to go. Look for a bonus NASCAR blog later in the week if I get some time. Oh - least I forget - How 'bout dem Beavs!!!!!
Squiggy
The Bitch slap of the Century lasted............................................all of one week!
Double. As in double Bitch slap. Double points. Double the pleasure and Double the pain. MeSoHorny stays perfect and is in the running to challenge my Lions for a perfect season. Brees continues to play sub-par ball, but did manage to get double digits - as did Steve Smith. After that. Nothin. Red Dragons just rolls up the points. Rivers, Austin, Johnson and a kicker (no shit) all busted the 20 pt mark. The Giants Def, Crapbtree and Santana Moss were double digits. I think Dragons went a bit overboard this weekend, and assume he reached the high point in his season. Red Dragons goes to 3-2 and MeSoHorny falls to 0-5 in the biggest ass-kicking in history,,,,,,,,155 to 77.
The most shocking game of the year
Badgers, similar to the Steelers, had managed to make it through the first four games 3-1. Most of his bench was unavailable due to various felonies, sins and some amount of greed. This was the week that he got them back. Big Bad Ben is out, but Big nice Ben is back. Holmes is back. Badgers was ready to start his drive to the Superbowl.......next week. This was never a game. Not even close. Badgers scored double digits on his defense and that was it. He didn't start Ben - but it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Rhoids got a stellar game from Loyd, a solid game from Benson (in a loss) and topped the century mark. He didn't need that much. Both teams go to 3-2 as Hemorrhoids punks Badgers 101 to 55
Time for a name change - from Boof Licks to..........................Boof sucks!
Any of you guys seen the movie Aviator? Boof kinda reminds me of the plane that Howard was building halfway through the movie. Took off great. Flew great. Set a speed record and then.......crashed into the 'hood. Boof busted outta the gate fast and furious this year. He was averaging over 125 points the first two games and cruised to a 2-0 start. Then the crash. Boof Licks got 30 plus from Forte (which woulda helped a ton last week) early in the day and was probably feeling pretty good. Then the Rams got way behind the Lions which took Jackson out of the picture, Ryan couldn't do squat against the Browns and he got bubkus from Clayton (hurt), Manningham and Olsen. Thrombic Acid (early season favorite for coach of the year AND most improved player) got 26 from Smith, 25 from Nicks and 27 from the Oakland Defense. 27 from the Oakland defense. 27. Kinda scary and makes me worried that the Dems might pull out a miracle next month in the elections. Nah. This game was a yawner, and Boof better give his team a pep talk. Maybe call up Singletary and get some pointers McGregor? Thrombic Acid improves to 3-2 and Boof Licks falls to 2-3 after a 130 to 82 fudge packing....
Still Rockin Hard
Morning Missles hit kind of a rough spot the last couple of weeks, and after the morning games it looked pretty dim. MJD is still struggling and couldn't get into double digits even with a high scoring win by the Jags. Looked even worse when he found out that Thomas was a no-go for the 'Aint's, and the Rams defense scored negative points. Didn't help Eli finally scored some points for blokes, Calvin got a TD and the Eagles defense scored 18. But the sun came out in the afternoon. Romo scored points in a very embarrassing Cowboy loss, Floyd exploded for 27, Davis played more like last year and Bush (Michael not Reggie) scored just shy of 20. In the end this one wasn't close either and Missles moved to 3-2. Still, when Floyd, Davis and Michael Bush score all your points it can't make you feel real confident about the future. Morning Missles ambush Ballblokes 127 to 91. Hey Blokes - this be Pro ball, not college. There is no Brigham Young East in pro ball if you know what I mean.
Not all the games sucked............this one was close
I've said it before, and I will say it again. I love when these games come down to Monday night. This week two of the games did just that, and they came right down to the end. Bloodypulp had a decent game from the best QB in the NFL (per ESPN) Kyle Orton, was probably the only person on the planet happy that Indy could only score FG's, and should have been satisfied with Simm-Walker and Hillis and to only trail OldSkoolers by 8 points going into Monday night. Skoolers got better than he deserved from McNabb, better than he deserved from Britt, Spiller and Lewis to get the small lead. That left Bloodys' Randy Moss the job of outscoring Shonn Greene to secure a win. Everyone figured this would be a high scoring game - Favre slinging it deep and high to Moss all game long. Greene has been a disappointment - with LT getting most of the love from the Jets. But like everything else this year it didn't go according to the script. The Vikes come out with a trick (and illegal) play to start the game and then run the ball the first two series. The Jets come out and give the ball to LT. And give the ball to LT again. And again. Greene couldn't gain any yards, and Moss couldn't catch any balls. By halftime it looked like the only fireworks was going to be the storm that delayed the start of the game. But then, BOOM, Moss catches a bit of fire, scores a TD and pulls Bloodypulp to the lead late. The teach was trying to decide which one of his students to abuse on Tuesday when Greene - out of nowhere - busts a TD run and seals the deal. Greene. Shonn. Shonn Greene. It makes me sick. Great game, and both teams go to 2-3. OldSkoolers gets DAMN lucky and trips up Bloodypulp 107 to 102.
Missed it by "that" much
Wow. I couched my heart out. Started Rodgers over Manning - right move. Started Harvin - right move. Started Owens - right move. Picked up the Bears Defense - right move. Picked up Shockey - right move. Started Jones - right move. Only move I regret is starting Dez Bryant who got nicked up early. Death Panels? He sticks with Susihi - zero points. Sticks with Portis -zero points. Two players with zero points. How could I lose????? Well Ray Rice trumps Owens 28 to 16. Roddy White and McCoy trump Jones and Addai (out in 3rd Q) by 15. Roy Williams has another good game in a losing effort with 16 which coupled with Gates' 15 negates the Bears def 18 points. Add it all up and Squiggy is down by 20 points going into Monday night with Percy Harvin and LT versus FAVra. So, how could MacAttack pull this out. Give the ball to LT for a hundred and a TD, get points off of returns from Harvin, and - God forbid - if Farve does throw TD's let them go Harvins direction. I had about as much chance as South Carolina. As much chance as OSU. Slim, but possible. The game started pretty good, LT was the work horse, the Jets were scoring on FG's, which meant return yardage for Harvin and Brett had about 40 yards of passing at halftime. I couldn't stand watching the 666 game on the computer, but figured I had cut the Commish's lead in half. What I needed was an LT touchdown. What I got was two Harvin touches - but also a Moss TD. Trying to do the math in my head - I figured it was close. I needed LT. Needed a TD. And I got close, some short dark skinned dude whose number started with a 2 DID score a TD. But it wasn't LT, it was Greene. Then Farve threw a pick. Then a fumble (recovered by the Vikes). At the end of the game I figured it was plus or minus a point. I was close - it was only 1.5 points. The wrong way too. And I remember a 15 yard LT run called back for a holding call...........This one is another ESPN instant classic. I can't believe I lost with two of Death Panels guys out. And to lose after scoring 130 points........well, it was a great game and a good go Commish. Suishi must be your lucky charm 'cause you have won three games without him scoring a single point. Just like the real league, 666 has no unbeaten teams left as MacAttack goes to 4-1 and Death Panels miraculously goes to 3-2 with a nail biting 132 to 131 victory. Double Damn.
Not my best SMACK - but getting ready for the big trip. This is looking like a wild year in the NFL. No body would have thought that NO, Minn, Dallas and GB would be looking vulnerable this early in the season. About the only team living up to the pre-season hype is the Jets. But there is a lot of football to go. Look for a bonus NASCAR blog later in the week if I get some time. Oh - least I forget - How 'bout dem Beavs!!!!!
Squiggy
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
What a pathetic weekend of Football......
Really. It was pathetic. A couple of decent college games (including my Beavers against the Sun Devils) but mainly garbage. A few close Pro games, but the close games shoulda been blow outs and the blow outs shoulda been close. St Louis versus Seattle - shoulda been close - not. New Orleans versus Carolina - shoulda been a blow out, but it was a last second win. Indy versus Jacksonville - blow out city, except Jacksonville kicks a late 59 yard field goal to win. But we still had Sunday night Football on NBC and, of course, a Monday night game that could go either way. Nope. Monday night was a disaster, unless of course, you were betting on NE to win (which I was) and/or started the Pats defense (nobody had em). Miami can't hold onto the ball. Miami can't kick a punt. Miami can't cover a kickoff. Miami can't win. What a yawner. But compared to the Sunday night game, the Dolphins versus Pats was awesome. Which brings on a RANT........
I have always loved watching football whether live or on TV, college or Pro. I like College because its so raw and unpredictable. You never know whats going to happen. Who's going to be the next superstar. Which team is going to get it all together on any given weekend and pull out a win that NOBODY could see coming. I love watching players and teams grow up. And I love the fact that it changes year after year after year. I love the Pro game also, but for a different reason. The Pro's play the game as a job. They know what they have to do. They know the risks. They get the fame and they (finally) get the money. But they also are expected to play the game and play the game hard. As great as it is, the fact that the Lions can play the Packers to late in the fourth quarter is not unexpected - it's what they are paid to do. No different than the rest of us pros. In college we all got drunk, got stoned, got laid (well, not all of us) and slowly grew into our potential. Then we all turn Pro. We get paid. We grow up. We perform. Except - not anymore. The main reason I love watching Football (or any sports) now a days is because its a great diversion and it helps to watch TRUE pro's do incredible things. Thats why its so depressing to watch bad big games. Its painful to watch these guys perform so badly, because thats what you see everyday in the rest of the Pro world. We endlessly debate raising taxes on a few, with minimal impact, while ignoring our massive deficit . The firing of a lame CNN talking head gets more attention than the fact that the second biggest economy in the world has followed in the footsteps of the biggest economy in the world in quantitative easing - otherwise referred to as the Madoff method. We got so lazy that we couldn't do the paperwork on mortgages. Engineers can't figure out contingency plans when drilling 5 miles under the ocean. To top it all off, we have an election coming up and Allah help us whoever wins, because most of em runnin seem about as prepared as college kids. They ain't the Pros. We need the Pros. Which is why I hate watchin the Pros play bad, because if the Pros can't do it its the doom of our future. Our childrens future. Damn, did y'all know that China cut Japan off from rare earth metals, and the Japs folded.........
So I was looking forward to a really good Sunday night game to take my mind off of all these weighty matters, and what I got instead was the Bear market I've been predicting for over a year. This would be da Bear market, which was not what I expected when I doubled up my bets taking Chicago on the money line. Come on, this was easy. Big brother had just schooled little Manning two weeks ago, and the mighty Titans had schooled them last Sunday. Chicago was undefeated. They had just come off a win against the Packers. They can run. They can catch. The defense was back. Should be a good game, and a reasonable chance that Chicago could pull it out...............till Cutler stepped back in the pocket and got slammed. Then stepped back again and got slammed. Again, and again and again. But it was still only 3 to zip at half time. I don't know which was more pathetic, the nine sacks one pick and umpteen fumbles that Cutler had, or the fact that the Giants could only score three points off them? So, I figure there is no way that Cutler could play THAT bad in the second half. Just had to get his senses. Get the ball out. Maybe run it once in awhile to Forte (eh Boof Licks), I was right, Cutler couldn't play any worse if he didn't play at all. Instead, he sat it out. He quit. It wasn't worth it. I have sources that say the conversation went somethin like this -
Cutler: Coach Smith - I can't play any more 'cause I am concussed.
Lovey - If anybody's gonna be cussin around here its me.
Cutler - Coach, I ain't cussin. I've got a headache. I'm concussed.
Lovey - You've got a headache? Wait till you see the film, then your really going to have a headache. We need you to go out an lead this team.
Cutler - Nah. Can't go. Let Collins play.
Lovey - Who? You mean Collinsworth - he's in the broadcast both. Kerry Collins ain't on the team is he Mike?
Martz - I think he's talking about Todd Collins.
Lovey - Who the hell is Todd Collins. What happened to Orton?
Martz - Todds the guy who carries the clip board and gets water. Kinda tall and skinny. Orton still sucks and plays for Denver.
Lovey - Well - this Collins dude can't be any worse the JC. Where is he.
Martz - We sent out the defense to drag him back. He was screaming, but a little injection should do the trick......
Lovey - We are screwed........
Martz - Hey - I won a SuperBowl with a bag boy from Wallmart. Its the scheme that counts Lovey.....
Cutler - Can I stay here and play Madden10? We can let Hanie carry the clip board.
Lovey - Now, who the hell is Hanie?
Martz - He's the guy who carries the bags. Don't worry Lovey - remember the bag boy.
And the rest is history. We are a quarter of the way through the season and what do we know? Indy has a great QB, and can score at will. But so can the other team. Chicago is obviously a fraud. The Giants....please. NO isn't scoring. Arizona needs the bag boy back. The winner in the NFC west could be sup 500. KC is undefeated for one more week. The Packers lose ugly, and win ugly on back to back weeks. Dallas - right. The Vikings - ya, you betcha. That leaves us with the Jets, the Pats, and - most impressively, the Steelers as the best teams in football. Lottsa time left - but I don't think any team in the 2010 season will go down in history. And next year we might have a strike.........
But I am being much too depressing here. Its time for some SMACK - but like the real games, the 666 league games were pretty lame as well. Too mix things up I will go in reverse order this week - leaving the Bitch slap for last......
This was the best game we had.............................................but it was over early
How many close games is MeSoHorny going to lose? My god, its like dating a women for 4 weeks and knowing your goin' score this weekend - only to be put off once again because its that time of the month. Horny was only down by 5 points going into the Sunday night game and had Steve Smith left to play. He got another sub par performance from Brees, and the only guy on his team to score was the best player at Coastal Carolina (is that a college or a high school?) named Tolbert who had 33 rushing yards going into this Sunday. Ballblokes wasn't doing much better going into Sunday night, with only Calvin Johnson, the Eagle D and the Chargers kicker scoring much. But he had Eli. Who throws to Smith. Which begs the question - is it possible for a wide out to outscore his QB by five points in a game? Surprisingly the answer is yes. At one point in the game Horny had pulled to within 2 points. All he needed was a fumble and/or pick, and then any TD to go Smiths way. Didn't happen, but was a way closer game than it should have been in the end. Eli continues to struggle - but he is better than Cutler.......MeSoHorny stays perfect and Ballblokes (congrats on the rider cup thing) goes to 0.500 with a 84 to 81 "victory".
This was the second best game we had...................................and it wasn't good
If Red Dragons or OldSkollers had been playing anyone else but a couple of teams this weekend (see above), they would have both lost. But hey, nothin wrong with a good defensive struggle - MacAttack has won a couple of those before. Problem with a defensive struggle is there isn't much smack material. Dragons had a 23 point lead heading into the Monday night game on the back of a decent games from Rivers and McFadden and another great game from Keller - but was going against Ronnnie Brown and the kicker for the Pats. Skoolers finally got points from Wayne, but McNabb didn't score much in leading the Native Americans to victory over the Eagles and again got blanked by Sims-Walker. Need to bench that dude. Grostkowski scored well, but Ronnie Brown was overshadowed by an old school running back named Ricky (I like the smell of weed) Williams. Lots of the old guys did well this week, and showed the XYZ generation how to ball. Final wasn't that close - but still one of the closest of the week. Pity the kids in OldSkoolers classes - Final.................Red Dragons drops OldSkoolers 83 to 78
And we are back with Corn on the.......................................................Kolb
This one was a wipe out because.....The savior of the Eagles. Walking proof that you can redeem yourself of all sin. The man of the moment, Michael Vick - got squished (rhoids words, not mine) at the goal line early in the game and was out. That was pretty much all she wrote. Rhoids scored with the 49ers D (like you can predict that), that old and stoned stud Ricky Williams and Denver's kicker, but this was over early. Kyle Orton proved that Chicago is the Bermuda triangle for QB's by having a great game in a win for Denver, Hillis continues to show he is a baller, and the SD defense absolutely explodes against the hapless (but still league leading) Arizona Cardinals - and he had Bradshaw going into Sunday night and Moss going into Monday night. This was a potential Bitch Slap in other weeks, but Moss dropped a TD and looks like he has checked out on the Pats. Rumor is he is headed to the Vikings, which could be good for Bloodypulp. If Moss had scored, and Williams hadn't this would have been worse. It was bad enough as it was. Bloody pulp whips Hemorrhoids 115 to 93 and both fall to 2-2.
Should have been the most embarrassing loss..............................but wasn't
Detroit is a tough town. Its a tough crowd. There is lots of things along the lines of the Commish's work that need doin. Do you know why a car is worth more than a house in Detroit - because you can drive a car OUTTA the city (forgive me if that is a repeat lame joke). Anyway - I was worried that Death Panels was overwhelmed. No QB on Sunday morning. No Kicker on Sunday morning. Looking like a cake walk for the Boof man. But there was no need to worry. The Commish had a plan. Pick up the QB and kicker for the Monday night game and play with our heads. But the funny thing is....................he would have won with out them. But we shouldn't be surprised. In Death Panels last win he had two players get blanked and his QB (FAVra) only scored a single point. So how much help would Henne and Carpenter be? Not bad - a total of 20 points, but he didn't need that many. Boof Licks got 21 from Mendenhall and, well - he got 21 from Mendenhall. Sure, Ryan outscored Cutler, but so did my eighth grade defensive lineman Trevor "the tank" McGuigan! Death Panels got what is becoming a hoohumm 27 points from Gates, 15 from McCoy and 15 from the GB defense to put this one away. Boof Licks couldn't even manage to take it to the MNF game...............Final is Boof goes splat and Death Panels goes to 0.500 with a 109 to 78 drubbing.
It was all going as planned...................................................and then Lehman Brothers Failed
Thrombic Acid is developing a pattern. It could be on purpose. It could be luck. It could be fate. Whatever it is, Acid is developing a habit of having opponents who are done early and still having a couple of stud players left to play. Last week he almost pulled off a victory (probably should have), and it was shaping up to be the same thing this week. Badgers scored just shy of a 100 points on the back of Arian Foster (this years version of Miles Austin), a decent game from Schaub and Gore and points from everyone else but some kid named Naanee (which is a 3-D movie isn't it) but looked vulnerable. Thrombic had Cutler. Thrombic had Marshall. Thrombic had Nicks. That should have been enough to make it close. Nicks did his job. Marshall didn't. And Cutler. Well, I've said enough about the Jay man. Thrombic - all I can say is you are lucky we don't have the automatic backup rule, because I think Collins and Haine would have increased the NEGATIVE points you got from your QB. This should have. This would have. This WAS a Bitch Slap - just not the official one. Buy Carter a beer. Final score Badgers goes to 3-1 with his bench now alive (Roth and Holmes) by destroying Thrombic Acid 96 to 64.
And the BITCH SLAP is................................................Delicious
Sometimes you can get to hyped for a game. To amped up. Makes you over-run the play. Not stay home. Overthrow it. Stub the chip shot. You get the point. Morning Missles was definitely amped for this game. Sure, he was nervous about his rookie QB - but he did great, scoring 22 points and negating MacAttacks #1 draft picks' 23. MJD finally busts a game and scores what a number 1 pick should with 24 points. But Pierre was out, Hester had Cutler, Collins and Haine throwing to him (in a manner of speaking) and Welker couldn't find the end zone. Morning Missles did OK - could have won several contests with his point total, but he wasn't playing some kid here. He was playin MacAttack. Squiggy. The SMACK king. Sure, he was confused about who he picked as QB - mistaking Cassal for Bradford - but they are both White and not very good, so that is forgivable. What he hadn't counted on was last minute lineup changes by me. I started old man Owens. Started old man Tomlinson. Started Addai at the last minute. Started Brandon Tate, and continued to ride the back of Austin Collie. My guys scored the first two TD's of the weekend! Only mistake I made was picking up and starting the Indy Defense (which is an oxymoron). Add it up and you get the Bitch slap of the year. Hell, it might be the Bitch slap of the decade (actually it is). Sorry KC - I enjoyed that way too much. You didn't just hear the Fat lady singin - she was screaming. Final..MacAttack stays perfect and Missles falls to 2-2, 144 to 85.
We are a third of the way through our season. The league has a nice symmetry to it. One 4-0 team, one 3-1 team, eight 2-2 teams, one 1-3 team and one 0-4 team. There is a lot of Football left, nobody is out of it yet. Still a lot of byes to get through. Injuries to come. Players to heal. Nothing is finished just yet, but I like where its all headed. GL losers........
Squiggy
I have always loved watching football whether live or on TV, college or Pro. I like College because its so raw and unpredictable. You never know whats going to happen. Who's going to be the next superstar. Which team is going to get it all together on any given weekend and pull out a win that NOBODY could see coming. I love watching players and teams grow up. And I love the fact that it changes year after year after year. I love the Pro game also, but for a different reason. The Pro's play the game as a job. They know what they have to do. They know the risks. They get the fame and they (finally) get the money. But they also are expected to play the game and play the game hard. As great as it is, the fact that the Lions can play the Packers to late in the fourth quarter is not unexpected - it's what they are paid to do. No different than the rest of us pros. In college we all got drunk, got stoned, got laid (well, not all of us) and slowly grew into our potential. Then we all turn Pro. We get paid. We grow up. We perform. Except - not anymore. The main reason I love watching Football (or any sports) now a days is because its a great diversion and it helps to watch TRUE pro's do incredible things. Thats why its so depressing to watch bad big games. Its painful to watch these guys perform so badly, because thats what you see everyday in the rest of the Pro world. We endlessly debate raising taxes on a few, with minimal impact, while ignoring our massive deficit . The firing of a lame CNN talking head gets more attention than the fact that the second biggest economy in the world has followed in the footsteps of the biggest economy in the world in quantitative easing - otherwise referred to as the Madoff method. We got so lazy that we couldn't do the paperwork on mortgages. Engineers can't figure out contingency plans when drilling 5 miles under the ocean. To top it all off, we have an election coming up and Allah help us whoever wins, because most of em runnin seem about as prepared as college kids. They ain't the Pros. We need the Pros. Which is why I hate watchin the Pros play bad, because if the Pros can't do it its the doom of our future. Our childrens future. Damn, did y'all know that China cut Japan off from rare earth metals, and the Japs folded.........
So I was looking forward to a really good Sunday night game to take my mind off of all these weighty matters, and what I got instead was the Bear market I've been predicting for over a year. This would be da Bear market, which was not what I expected when I doubled up my bets taking Chicago on the money line. Come on, this was easy. Big brother had just schooled little Manning two weeks ago, and the mighty Titans had schooled them last Sunday. Chicago was undefeated. They had just come off a win against the Packers. They can run. They can catch. The defense was back. Should be a good game, and a reasonable chance that Chicago could pull it out...............till Cutler stepped back in the pocket and got slammed. Then stepped back again and got slammed. Again, and again and again. But it was still only 3 to zip at half time. I don't know which was more pathetic, the nine sacks one pick and umpteen fumbles that Cutler had, or the fact that the Giants could only score three points off them? So, I figure there is no way that Cutler could play THAT bad in the second half. Just had to get his senses. Get the ball out. Maybe run it once in awhile to Forte (eh Boof Licks), I was right, Cutler couldn't play any worse if he didn't play at all. Instead, he sat it out. He quit. It wasn't worth it. I have sources that say the conversation went somethin like this -
Cutler: Coach Smith - I can't play any more 'cause I am concussed.
Lovey - If anybody's gonna be cussin around here its me.
Cutler - Coach, I ain't cussin. I've got a headache. I'm concussed.
Lovey - You've got a headache? Wait till you see the film, then your really going to have a headache. We need you to go out an lead this team.
Cutler - Nah. Can't go. Let Collins play.
Lovey - Who? You mean Collinsworth - he's in the broadcast both. Kerry Collins ain't on the team is he Mike?
Martz - I think he's talking about Todd Collins.
Lovey - Who the hell is Todd Collins. What happened to Orton?
Martz - Todds the guy who carries the clip board and gets water. Kinda tall and skinny. Orton still sucks and plays for Denver.
Lovey - Well - this Collins dude can't be any worse the JC. Where is he.
Martz - We sent out the defense to drag him back. He was screaming, but a little injection should do the trick......
Lovey - We are screwed........
Martz - Hey - I won a SuperBowl with a bag boy from Wallmart. Its the scheme that counts Lovey.....
Cutler - Can I stay here and play Madden10? We can let Hanie carry the clip board.
Lovey - Now, who the hell is Hanie?
Martz - He's the guy who carries the bags. Don't worry Lovey - remember the bag boy.
And the rest is history. We are a quarter of the way through the season and what do we know? Indy has a great QB, and can score at will. But so can the other team. Chicago is obviously a fraud. The Giants....please. NO isn't scoring. Arizona needs the bag boy back. The winner in the NFC west could be sup 500. KC is undefeated for one more week. The Packers lose ugly, and win ugly on back to back weeks. Dallas - right. The Vikings - ya, you betcha. That leaves us with the Jets, the Pats, and - most impressively, the Steelers as the best teams in football. Lottsa time left - but I don't think any team in the 2010 season will go down in history. And next year we might have a strike.........
But I am being much too depressing here. Its time for some SMACK - but like the real games, the 666 league games were pretty lame as well. Too mix things up I will go in reverse order this week - leaving the Bitch slap for last......
This was the best game we had.............................................but it was over early
How many close games is MeSoHorny going to lose? My god, its like dating a women for 4 weeks and knowing your goin' score this weekend - only to be put off once again because its that time of the month. Horny was only down by 5 points going into the Sunday night game and had Steve Smith left to play. He got another sub par performance from Brees, and the only guy on his team to score was the best player at Coastal Carolina (is that a college or a high school?) named Tolbert who had 33 rushing yards going into this Sunday. Ballblokes wasn't doing much better going into Sunday night, with only Calvin Johnson, the Eagle D and the Chargers kicker scoring much. But he had Eli. Who throws to Smith. Which begs the question - is it possible for a wide out to outscore his QB by five points in a game? Surprisingly the answer is yes. At one point in the game Horny had pulled to within 2 points. All he needed was a fumble and/or pick, and then any TD to go Smiths way. Didn't happen, but was a way closer game than it should have been in the end. Eli continues to struggle - but he is better than Cutler.......MeSoHorny stays perfect and Ballblokes (congrats on the rider cup thing) goes to 0.500 with a 84 to 81 "victory".
This was the second best game we had...................................and it wasn't good
If Red Dragons or OldSkollers had been playing anyone else but a couple of teams this weekend (see above), they would have both lost. But hey, nothin wrong with a good defensive struggle - MacAttack has won a couple of those before. Problem with a defensive struggle is there isn't much smack material. Dragons had a 23 point lead heading into the Monday night game on the back of a decent games from Rivers and McFadden and another great game from Keller - but was going against Ronnnie Brown and the kicker for the Pats. Skoolers finally got points from Wayne, but McNabb didn't score much in leading the Native Americans to victory over the Eagles and again got blanked by Sims-Walker. Need to bench that dude. Grostkowski scored well, but Ronnie Brown was overshadowed by an old school running back named Ricky (I like the smell of weed) Williams. Lots of the old guys did well this week, and showed the XYZ generation how to ball. Final wasn't that close - but still one of the closest of the week. Pity the kids in OldSkoolers classes - Final.................Red Dragons drops OldSkoolers 83 to 78
And we are back with Corn on the.......................................................Kolb
This one was a wipe out because.....The savior of the Eagles. Walking proof that you can redeem yourself of all sin. The man of the moment, Michael Vick - got squished (rhoids words, not mine) at the goal line early in the game and was out. That was pretty much all she wrote. Rhoids scored with the 49ers D (like you can predict that), that old and stoned stud Ricky Williams and Denver's kicker, but this was over early. Kyle Orton proved that Chicago is the Bermuda triangle for QB's by having a great game in a win for Denver, Hillis continues to show he is a baller, and the SD defense absolutely explodes against the hapless (but still league leading) Arizona Cardinals - and he had Bradshaw going into Sunday night and Moss going into Monday night. This was a potential Bitch Slap in other weeks, but Moss dropped a TD and looks like he has checked out on the Pats. Rumor is he is headed to the Vikings, which could be good for Bloodypulp. If Moss had scored, and Williams hadn't this would have been worse. It was bad enough as it was. Bloody pulp whips Hemorrhoids 115 to 93 and both fall to 2-2.
Should have been the most embarrassing loss..............................but wasn't
Detroit is a tough town. Its a tough crowd. There is lots of things along the lines of the Commish's work that need doin. Do you know why a car is worth more than a house in Detroit - because you can drive a car OUTTA the city (forgive me if that is a repeat lame joke). Anyway - I was worried that Death Panels was overwhelmed. No QB on Sunday morning. No Kicker on Sunday morning. Looking like a cake walk for the Boof man. But there was no need to worry. The Commish had a plan. Pick up the QB and kicker for the Monday night game and play with our heads. But the funny thing is....................he would have won with out them. But we shouldn't be surprised. In Death Panels last win he had two players get blanked and his QB (FAVra) only scored a single point. So how much help would Henne and Carpenter be? Not bad - a total of 20 points, but he didn't need that many. Boof Licks got 21 from Mendenhall and, well - he got 21 from Mendenhall. Sure, Ryan outscored Cutler, but so did my eighth grade defensive lineman Trevor "the tank" McGuigan! Death Panels got what is becoming a hoohumm 27 points from Gates, 15 from McCoy and 15 from the GB defense to put this one away. Boof Licks couldn't even manage to take it to the MNF game...............Final is Boof goes splat and Death Panels goes to 0.500 with a 109 to 78 drubbing.
It was all going as planned...................................................and then Lehman Brothers Failed
Thrombic Acid is developing a pattern. It could be on purpose. It could be luck. It could be fate. Whatever it is, Acid is developing a habit of having opponents who are done early and still having a couple of stud players left to play. Last week he almost pulled off a victory (probably should have), and it was shaping up to be the same thing this week. Badgers scored just shy of a 100 points on the back of Arian Foster (this years version of Miles Austin), a decent game from Schaub and Gore and points from everyone else but some kid named Naanee (which is a 3-D movie isn't it) but looked vulnerable. Thrombic had Cutler. Thrombic had Marshall. Thrombic had Nicks. That should have been enough to make it close. Nicks did his job. Marshall didn't. And Cutler. Well, I've said enough about the Jay man. Thrombic - all I can say is you are lucky we don't have the automatic backup rule, because I think Collins and Haine would have increased the NEGATIVE points you got from your QB. This should have. This would have. This WAS a Bitch Slap - just not the official one. Buy Carter a beer. Final score Badgers goes to 3-1 with his bench now alive (Roth and Holmes) by destroying Thrombic Acid 96 to 64.
And the BITCH SLAP is................................................Delicious
Sometimes you can get to hyped for a game. To amped up. Makes you over-run the play. Not stay home. Overthrow it. Stub the chip shot. You get the point. Morning Missles was definitely amped for this game. Sure, he was nervous about his rookie QB - but he did great, scoring 22 points and negating MacAttacks #1 draft picks' 23. MJD finally busts a game and scores what a number 1 pick should with 24 points. But Pierre was out, Hester had Cutler, Collins and Haine throwing to him (in a manner of speaking) and Welker couldn't find the end zone. Morning Missles did OK - could have won several contests with his point total, but he wasn't playing some kid here. He was playin MacAttack. Squiggy. The SMACK king. Sure, he was confused about who he picked as QB - mistaking Cassal for Bradford - but they are both White and not very good, so that is forgivable. What he hadn't counted on was last minute lineup changes by me. I started old man Owens. Started old man Tomlinson. Started Addai at the last minute. Started Brandon Tate, and continued to ride the back of Austin Collie. My guys scored the first two TD's of the weekend! Only mistake I made was picking up and starting the Indy Defense (which is an oxymoron). Add it up and you get the Bitch slap of the year. Hell, it might be the Bitch slap of the decade (actually it is). Sorry KC - I enjoyed that way too much. You didn't just hear the Fat lady singin - she was screaming. Final..MacAttack stays perfect and Missles falls to 2-2, 144 to 85.
We are a third of the way through our season. The league has a nice symmetry to it. One 4-0 team, one 3-1 team, eight 2-2 teams, one 1-3 team and one 0-4 team. There is a lot of Football left, nobody is out of it yet. Still a lot of byes to get through. Injuries to come. Players to heal. Nothing is finished just yet, but I like where its all headed. GL losers........
Squiggy
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
The best football of the year!
Not a bad weekend fellas. Good football games on the Sunday Ticket, last week without any bye's and not a stinker in the 666 league - all the match ups were tight. This was the most competitive weekend I can remember. Before we get on with the SMACK, lets deal with the most important issue facing our nation this week. The mosque "near" ground zero? The decline in consumer confidence? China's reluctance to devalue its currency? No. The issue of the week hits much closer to home than any of those - should the Packers have let the Bears score a TD on MNF to get the ball back? That is the issue we will be arguing about for hours this week, and the answer is obvious - NO. This is football. This is pride. This is about honor. If the only way the Packers could win was to let the hated Bears score on purpose, then they should lose. The game of football isn't just about winning a game. It's not just about the Packers or the Bears. Those twenty-two warriors out on the field are playing for more than themselves, their families and their team. They are playing for us. The fan. They are playing for - Me. If the Pack had let Chicago score and then gone down and scored I would have lost my bet on the under. Now that's a good reason........
And the Bitch Slap is................not much of a slap
You know its a good weekend of football when this match up was the most one sided in the league. There really wasn't much more OldSkoolers could have done. Sure, he could have started Flacco over McNabb, but we all would have made fun of him if he had. He got a ridiculous 25 points from CJ Spiller, an equally unexpected 20 points from Maclin and McNabb had an OK game with 15. Add in the rest of his team and Oldskoolers was just shy of the century mark. Normally a good chance at a W, but not this week. Ballblokes didn't win this with his QB. Eli Manning seems to be slowly regressing back to high school - for one play there he even forgot he was right handed. Blokes running back Mathews didn't even play. Nope, blokes got all his points the hard way. Boldin scores 35+ catching balls from Flacco. Jackson scores 22 catching balls from Vick. Miller caught one from some Polish dude, and, old man Ward caught one from Charlie Batch. Yep - this really happened. I couldn't make this crap up if I tried. Flacco, Vick, Batch. Wow. Even with all that, Skoolers still had a shot on Monday night with Jennings. He teased you a bit, but it was over before the game started. Final score-----------------Ballblokes 127 defeats Oldskoolers 99.
This was a really close game..................................NOT
I was watchin this matchup all weekend. Morning Missles finally got a decent game from Romo, but the rest of his squad was average at best. No major disappointments, but no major breakouts either. MJD continues to struggle, Wes Welker scored most of his TD's for the season in the first two games and looks to have reverted to his normal role. Not a great week for Morning, but not bad either. It would all come down to the MNF game. Death Panels actually got positive points from FAVra - with current trends Bret should bust into double digits after the bye - and his super stud Gates continues to play like the best TE in Pro ball. The rest of his team was kinda blah on Sunday, but he still had two players going into Monday night. He had the Green bay Defense - which had the potential to have a monster game against da Bears, and he had Sushi playin for the Chicago. Now Aromashodu (aka Sushi) didn't score a point last week but the Commish won and I never looked him up. So, during the game, I looked up Aromashodu and it turns out he wasn't playing. In fact, if you look him up now you get the following quote - "Sushi (aka Aromashodu) is pretty much a dead fantasy roster spot right now". Really? I wouldn't have guessed it. To make matters worse, Mr. Commish left some loser named Williams of the Cowboys on the bench. 26 points. Ooops. Green bay could have gotten credit for all 18 interceptions they gave back last night and you still would have lost. Start Williams over Sushi and you win. Say thank you Carter, and I say penalty to the Commish. Final---------------Mighty Missles 93 spanks Death Panels 73.
And Boof Licks goes......................................................Boof
Boof Licks was getting pretty cocky. He had two dominating wins going into this week, was tied for the lead in wins and on top in points. He got last weeks manager of the week award. Boof was rollin. And talkin smack. What a difference a week makes. This week Badgers showed the league the value of consistency. Consistent scoring. Badgers showed the league the value of balance. Balanced scoring. He lost a bit with Schaub but gained it back with Gaffney. Lost a bit with Arian but got it back from the Cinncy D. He was nice and balanced - no blow ups or blow offs. Boof had a good game from Brady, but made the mistake of starting Hightower over Mendenhal (BIG mistake) and Jones over Knox and then Jackson goes down with a groin. Still, it was too close to call going into the Sunday night game. Boof had the Miami defense which figured to score a bunch of points against the Jets. Sunday nights game was strange. Sanchez looked like a pro quarter back, sliced up the Dolphins D and what should have been a defensive struggle was a good football game. No way anybody would have predicted a 1 point performance from Miami against the Jets. So, going into the Monday night game Badgers had an eight point lead with Finley and Jackson versus Forte for Boof. It was pretty apparent after the first quarter that Boof was toast. Finley had a good game (could have been a GREAT game) and knocks out McGregor. Boof Licks would have won with Mendenhal and Knox starting - but being manager of the week only lasts a week. Final score-------Badgers 100 licks Boof Licks 81.
Sometimes prayers are answered.....................
Had kind of a rough weekend, so I sat back in my recliner and watched football all Sunday. As the smack writer I try to pay attention to all the matchups, but must confess that I watch my game with more intensity. This was an intense week. MeSoHorny had a good start in the morning games. Brees did well with 28, Gonzalles had another great game with 17, Charles had a sneaky good game with 15 and Barber stole points from Felix Jones. Add it up and Horny had a nice lead going into the Colts game. I had a lot of talent riding on that game, and almost decided to sit Collie after his monster game last week, but figured with Garcon out I would roll the dice. Slow start for the Colts, and it didn't look good for MacAttack, and then - boom, Manning to Collie. A two fer! Collie had an unbelievable game, Addai didn't and Manning was looking average at best late. I was looking at the scores and thinking I needed another TD from Manning when - Boom, another two fer! That vaulted me to a small lead going into the Jets game (8 pts). All I had left was LT. Horny had Crosby and Driver on Monday night. As the Jet game went on, LT was having an OK game, but it didn't look good for a score. I figured I had about a 14 pt cushion when the pass interference was called in the endzone. Four new downs, not much time left and I was thinkin........TOUCH DOWN LT. That was cool. Another football prayer answered. But Horny was still in the drivers seat. Granted, he needed a big game from Driver and a few Field goals from Crosby, but 23 points was very possible. MeSoHorny made a dent, but never really had me sweating during the MNF game - but it was still a ball. Not to spread salt in the wound Horny - but if you would have used your head and started THE Leon Washington in place of Tolbert you would a crushed me....Final -- MacAttack 123 over MeSoHorny 111.
The closest game of the week.....................that didn't go to MNF.
Hats off. Everyone give these guys a round of applause. If you were paying attention at all you know what I am gushing about. If you didn't you missed one heck of a match up. I enjoyed the hell out of it. Red Dragons opens with a great game from #1 pick Chris Johnson, only to be topped by Hemmerhoids #2 pick Adrian Peterson. Dragons throws back Rivers but is again topped by that dog killer Vick. Rhoids, sensing weakness throws a vicious Cedric Benson, which Dragons counters with a solid Santana Moss. Dragons is backing up and Rhoids hits him with a straight up Dexter McCluster. Down goes Dragons, and the refs almost call him out, but he gets up before the count and tries to focus. Blood streaming down his face he lands a viscious Dustin Keller, a right handed sack on Henning, a left handed pick and then boom-boom, a devastating Dustin Kellers to the jaw. Rhoids stumbles backward, stunned and confused and looks ready to fall but throws a wild Miami score. Then another. Then Marshal stumbling down the sidelines to set up yet another and the fight was over. At one point, I think it was the second quarter, Red Dragons had pulled to a one point lead, and then had to watch the Jets defense give it all back. The Jets defense??? Against Miami???? I had all ready penciled in the W for Dragons. This one will be an instant classic on ESPN. Oh - just so you know Red - if you had started McFadden over Forsett you woulda won easy!. Bottom line is Red Dragons stays perfect, losing to Hemmerhoids 130.39 to 125.80.
Another reason you don't let Chicago Score............................just not as good a reason
It was pre-ordained. There was never a doubt. Bloodypulp rides Kyle Orton 24, Hillis (looks like a linebacker) 24, Moss 16, Bradshaw 16 and the San Diego defense to a 40 plus point lead going into the Sunday night game. His job is done. His work is complete. Now he can sit down and enjoy watching Acid try to come back with all of two players. Thrombic first has Brandon Marshall playing against the best damn defense in the world, the NY Jets. Figure he gets, what, 10 points if he is lucky. But wait. The Jets defense is so stunned by the Jets offense that they forget to play the game, and Brandon explodes for 166 yards and one TD (damn near got two) and cuts the lead by more than half. Brings it down to Cutler. Cutler needs 20ish to pull out the win for Acid. Like I said. Pre-ordained. Ya'all watched the Monday night game right? How many picks did Cutler throw that were negated by penalties - holding, helmet to the head, pass interference. Hell, it was obvious. Cutler was destined to score points not give them back. Then comes the fourth quarter. Green Bay manages to fumble the ball six inches from the side lines and it doesn't go out - it gets picked up by da Bears. Thrombic is down by less than six. We all know what was going to happen. Cutler scores a TD and Thrombic pulls out the win. I was even more sure of it when the Bears had goal to go with under two minutes and the Packers only had two time outs. The talking heads were saying let em score. Put the ball back in Rodgers hands. The only way the Pack was going to win. If Chicago was thinking the same way - the safest play would be QB sneak, unopposed. But, because it would just not be right. Not be football. Not be the honorable thing to do, Green Bay made the stand, held the bears to a FG and lost. Just like Thrombic Acid! Oh - just so you know Bingman, if you had started Beanie Wells instead of Fred Taylor you would have won. Final-----Bloodypulp slams Thrombic Acid 106.14 to 101.54.
So, three weeks in the record books. There is one undefeated team (MacAttack!) and one team still looking for their first win (MeSoHorny). Red Dragon leads the league in points but is a paltry 1-2. If you didn't catch the theme, I thought it was very interesting that, with one exception, every losing team could have changed the outcome by making different decisions on who to start. I am sure Boof Lick thought long and hard before sitting Mendenhall, but sit him he did. I almost sat Collie - which would have doomed me. The Commish could have won if only he had seen (or sensed) that Sushi was starting to smell bad. Now we get into the meat of the season. The byes start next weekend. Have you figured out how to cover? Morning Missles has - he picked up his backup QB on Sunday (couldn't you do better than Bradford?). Haven't seen any trade activity out there - I have to believe somebody has somethin? So far its been a great season, and its good to see Thrombic Acid actively managing! To close - you guys should be happy I have a nice butt, because thats all your gonna see the rest of the season....
Squiggy
And the Bitch Slap is................not much of a slap
You know its a good weekend of football when this match up was the most one sided in the league. There really wasn't much more OldSkoolers could have done. Sure, he could have started Flacco over McNabb, but we all would have made fun of him if he had. He got a ridiculous 25 points from CJ Spiller, an equally unexpected 20 points from Maclin and McNabb had an OK game with 15. Add in the rest of his team and Oldskoolers was just shy of the century mark. Normally a good chance at a W, but not this week. Ballblokes didn't win this with his QB. Eli Manning seems to be slowly regressing back to high school - for one play there he even forgot he was right handed. Blokes running back Mathews didn't even play. Nope, blokes got all his points the hard way. Boldin scores 35+ catching balls from Flacco. Jackson scores 22 catching balls from Vick. Miller caught one from some Polish dude, and, old man Ward caught one from Charlie Batch. Yep - this really happened. I couldn't make this crap up if I tried. Flacco, Vick, Batch. Wow. Even with all that, Skoolers still had a shot on Monday night with Jennings. He teased you a bit, but it was over before the game started. Final score-----------------Ballblokes 127 defeats Oldskoolers 99.
This was a really close game..................................NOT
I was watchin this matchup all weekend. Morning Missles finally got a decent game from Romo, but the rest of his squad was average at best. No major disappointments, but no major breakouts either. MJD continues to struggle, Wes Welker scored most of his TD's for the season in the first two games and looks to have reverted to his normal role. Not a great week for Morning, but not bad either. It would all come down to the MNF game. Death Panels actually got positive points from FAVra - with current trends Bret should bust into double digits after the bye - and his super stud Gates continues to play like the best TE in Pro ball. The rest of his team was kinda blah on Sunday, but he still had two players going into Monday night. He had the Green bay Defense - which had the potential to have a monster game against da Bears, and he had Sushi playin for the Chicago. Now Aromashodu (aka Sushi) didn't score a point last week but the Commish won and I never looked him up. So, during the game, I looked up Aromashodu and it turns out he wasn't playing. In fact, if you look him up now you get the following quote - "Sushi (aka Aromashodu) is pretty much a dead fantasy roster spot right now". Really? I wouldn't have guessed it. To make matters worse, Mr. Commish left some loser named Williams of the Cowboys on the bench. 26 points. Ooops. Green bay could have gotten credit for all 18 interceptions they gave back last night and you still would have lost. Start Williams over Sushi and you win. Say thank you Carter, and I say penalty to the Commish. Final---------------Mighty Missles 93 spanks Death Panels 73.
And Boof Licks goes......................................................Boof
Boof Licks was getting pretty cocky. He had two dominating wins going into this week, was tied for the lead in wins and on top in points. He got last weeks manager of the week award. Boof was rollin. And talkin smack. What a difference a week makes. This week Badgers showed the league the value of consistency. Consistent scoring. Badgers showed the league the value of balance. Balanced scoring. He lost a bit with Schaub but gained it back with Gaffney. Lost a bit with Arian but got it back from the Cinncy D. He was nice and balanced - no blow ups or blow offs. Boof had a good game from Brady, but made the mistake of starting Hightower over Mendenhal (BIG mistake) and Jones over Knox and then Jackson goes down with a groin. Still, it was too close to call going into the Sunday night game. Boof had the Miami defense which figured to score a bunch of points against the Jets. Sunday nights game was strange. Sanchez looked like a pro quarter back, sliced up the Dolphins D and what should have been a defensive struggle was a good football game. No way anybody would have predicted a 1 point performance from Miami against the Jets. So, going into the Monday night game Badgers had an eight point lead with Finley and Jackson versus Forte for Boof. It was pretty apparent after the first quarter that Boof was toast. Finley had a good game (could have been a GREAT game) and knocks out McGregor. Boof Licks would have won with Mendenhal and Knox starting - but being manager of the week only lasts a week. Final score-------Badgers 100 licks Boof Licks 81.
Sometimes prayers are answered.....................
Had kind of a rough weekend, so I sat back in my recliner and watched football all Sunday. As the smack writer I try to pay attention to all the matchups, but must confess that I watch my game with more intensity. This was an intense week. MeSoHorny had a good start in the morning games. Brees did well with 28, Gonzalles had another great game with 17, Charles had a sneaky good game with 15 and Barber stole points from Felix Jones. Add it up and Horny had a nice lead going into the Colts game. I had a lot of talent riding on that game, and almost decided to sit Collie after his monster game last week, but figured with Garcon out I would roll the dice. Slow start for the Colts, and it didn't look good for MacAttack, and then - boom, Manning to Collie. A two fer! Collie had an unbelievable game, Addai didn't and Manning was looking average at best late. I was looking at the scores and thinking I needed another TD from Manning when - Boom, another two fer! That vaulted me to a small lead going into the Jets game (8 pts). All I had left was LT. Horny had Crosby and Driver on Monday night. As the Jet game went on, LT was having an OK game, but it didn't look good for a score. I figured I had about a 14 pt cushion when the pass interference was called in the endzone. Four new downs, not much time left and I was thinkin........TOUCH DOWN LT. That was cool. Another football prayer answered. But Horny was still in the drivers seat. Granted, he needed a big game from Driver and a few Field goals from Crosby, but 23 points was very possible. MeSoHorny made a dent, but never really had me sweating during the MNF game - but it was still a ball. Not to spread salt in the wound Horny - but if you would have used your head and started THE Leon Washington in place of Tolbert you would a crushed me....Final -- MacAttack 123 over MeSoHorny 111.
The closest game of the week.....................that didn't go to MNF.
Hats off. Everyone give these guys a round of applause. If you were paying attention at all you know what I am gushing about. If you didn't you missed one heck of a match up. I enjoyed the hell out of it. Red Dragons opens with a great game from #1 pick Chris Johnson, only to be topped by Hemmerhoids #2 pick Adrian Peterson. Dragons throws back Rivers but is again topped by that dog killer Vick. Rhoids, sensing weakness throws a vicious Cedric Benson, which Dragons counters with a solid Santana Moss. Dragons is backing up and Rhoids hits him with a straight up Dexter McCluster. Down goes Dragons, and the refs almost call him out, but he gets up before the count and tries to focus. Blood streaming down his face he lands a viscious Dustin Keller, a right handed sack on Henning, a left handed pick and then boom-boom, a devastating Dustin Kellers to the jaw. Rhoids stumbles backward, stunned and confused and looks ready to fall but throws a wild Miami score. Then another. Then Marshal stumbling down the sidelines to set up yet another and the fight was over. At one point, I think it was the second quarter, Red Dragons had pulled to a one point lead, and then had to watch the Jets defense give it all back. The Jets defense??? Against Miami???? I had all ready penciled in the W for Dragons. This one will be an instant classic on ESPN. Oh - just so you know Red - if you had started McFadden over Forsett you woulda won easy!. Bottom line is Red Dragons stays perfect, losing to Hemmerhoids 130.39 to 125.80.
Another reason you don't let Chicago Score............................just not as good a reason
It was pre-ordained. There was never a doubt. Bloodypulp rides Kyle Orton 24, Hillis (looks like a linebacker) 24, Moss 16, Bradshaw 16 and the San Diego defense to a 40 plus point lead going into the Sunday night game. His job is done. His work is complete. Now he can sit down and enjoy watching Acid try to come back with all of two players. Thrombic first has Brandon Marshall playing against the best damn defense in the world, the NY Jets. Figure he gets, what, 10 points if he is lucky. But wait. The Jets defense is so stunned by the Jets offense that they forget to play the game, and Brandon explodes for 166 yards and one TD (damn near got two) and cuts the lead by more than half. Brings it down to Cutler. Cutler needs 20ish to pull out the win for Acid. Like I said. Pre-ordained. Ya'all watched the Monday night game right? How many picks did Cutler throw that were negated by penalties - holding, helmet to the head, pass interference. Hell, it was obvious. Cutler was destined to score points not give them back. Then comes the fourth quarter. Green Bay manages to fumble the ball six inches from the side lines and it doesn't go out - it gets picked up by da Bears. Thrombic is down by less than six. We all know what was going to happen. Cutler scores a TD and Thrombic pulls out the win. I was even more sure of it when the Bears had goal to go with under two minutes and the Packers only had two time outs. The talking heads were saying let em score. Put the ball back in Rodgers hands. The only way the Pack was going to win. If Chicago was thinking the same way - the safest play would be QB sneak, unopposed. But, because it would just not be right. Not be football. Not be the honorable thing to do, Green Bay made the stand, held the bears to a FG and lost. Just like Thrombic Acid! Oh - just so you know Bingman, if you had started Beanie Wells instead of Fred Taylor you would have won. Final-----Bloodypulp slams Thrombic Acid 106.14 to 101.54.
So, three weeks in the record books. There is one undefeated team (MacAttack!) and one team still looking for their first win (MeSoHorny). Red Dragon leads the league in points but is a paltry 1-2. If you didn't catch the theme, I thought it was very interesting that, with one exception, every losing team could have changed the outcome by making different decisions on who to start. I am sure Boof Lick thought long and hard before sitting Mendenhall, but sit him he did. I almost sat Collie - which would have doomed me. The Commish could have won if only he had seen (or sensed) that Sushi was starting to smell bad. Now we get into the meat of the season. The byes start next weekend. Have you figured out how to cover? Morning Missles has - he picked up his backup QB on Sunday (couldn't you do better than Bradford?). Haven't seen any trade activity out there - I have to believe somebody has somethin? So far its been a great season, and its good to see Thrombic Acid actively managing! To close - you guys should be happy I have a nice butt, because thats all your gonna see the rest of the season....
Squiggy
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Its early, but it's already late for some.
Another great week of NFL ball, and even though summer is just now officially over the weather in the great Northwest has definitely been football weather - like mid October football weather. Watched part of the Beav game in a pouring rain on Saturday and it felt more like winter than the first days of fall. But have no fear, the tomatoes are still ripening on the vine, the pumpkins are just starting to turn and warm weather is in the forecast. Not putting the golf clubs in the garage just yet. The season is still young and an 0 and 2 team can still make the playoffs, can still turn it around, can still win the whole enchilada. It will just be a bit more difficult than it looked two short Sundays ago. Does Dallas really suck, can FAVra bring back the Vikes, can the Lions possibly lose in a more heartbreaking style next week? Is Vick for real? Is Young a fraud? Does Singletarey need stronger meds? Which Colts team is for real - the losers against Houston, or the surgical unit that embarrassed the Giants? I have no answers. I only have SMACK.....
And the Bitch Slap is............
The best QB in football - gotta be Manning eh? The best running back in futbal - gotta be Chris Johnson right? Nope. Based on this week the best QB is Michael (my favorite place is the Humane society) Vick, and Jahvid (the Beavs knocked me silly last year) Best. Vick exploded this weekend against my poor Lions. Best followed up last weeks tremendous debut with an even better game and led Detroit to another ALMOST unbelievable comeback win. Couple those two with a solid game from Peterson (but if you can't score on four shots from the five are you REALLY that good?) and you have this weeks Bitch Slap. Hemorrhoids moves to 1-1 on the back of those performances and Ballblokes falls near the cellar. Blokes also scored in the Lions/Eagles game with DeSean Jackson, but nobody else on his team could back him up with points, even with the gift TD that Eli got at the end of the game. This really wasn't that bad of an ass whoopin, but a Bitch Slap it is none the less. Back to Cobb next week Rhoids???? Final score - Hemorrhoids 126 over Ballblokes 82.
Boof Wins, Boof Wins, Damn it all Boof WINS..........
This was going to be a close game in my book, and I actually thought Morning Missles had the slight advantage. Figured that Dallas and Romo had to play better than last week and that MJD would gash the LA (I mean Jacksonville) Jags. Romo did OK for a loser, but MJD did not live up to a #1 draft picks expectation. And to top it off, Boof did the improbable. Sure, he got lucky with a Manningham TD, and Jacoby Jones was better than expected in the Houston comeback win, but what won the day for Boof Licks was the manager. How many of you losers without a QB would have even dreamed of sitting Tom Brady down. I mean - Tom Brady. The best looking, best dressed, best chicked QB in football. Tom Brady is Joe Namath on steroids. By all accounts the gals that Tiger "dated" came from Brady's B list. On top of it all, Brady was talkin smack about the Jets. He hates the Jets. Him and Moss were gonna put a whoopin on the J....E...T...S, Jets, Jets Jets! And they did. For one drive. But Boof man KNEW that would happen. He figured that Matt Ryan would do the whoopin on the Arizona D. I think he let his wife make his roster for him this week, which is a good thing for Boof Licks, because it was Matt's 26 points that proved the difference in this game. Marks whole team did well, and Missles was let down by MJD and the pathetic Giants performance, but starting Ryan over Brady was brilliant. Final Score - Boof Licks 118 over Mighty Missles 94 vaults Boof to the league lead.
This should REALLY be the Bitch Slap of the week......
Drew Brees gets 23 points for Horny. Andre Johnson comes back from the locker room to make an incredible last second TD catch and gets 22 points for Horny (by the way - don't you think IV fluids, pain killers and BJ's in the locker room are PERFORMANCE enhancing???). MeSoHorny should win this easy after that right? Wait, it gets even better. Our dear Commish, Death Panels, gets a big goose egg from Aromashodu (which I thought was some kind of suishi), another big goose egg from TJ Houshmanzadeh (I love TJ, but his last name sounds like a brand of saki) and a grand total of ONE point from the old man FAVra. If you give Brett a one point penalty for lack of skill, you end up with enough goose eggs for a pretty nice goose egg omlete Commish. This should have been the most one sided game of the week, and it almost was. But Death Panels has connections the rest of us don't have. Sushi gets zero - McCoy gets 31, Saki gets zero - Gates goes for 18, FAVra gets 1 point - Clinton Portis gets 15. Add a dash of Roddy White, Rice and the Packers Defense all in double digits and you get an omelet of ass whoopin. I told you last week Commish, that if someone loses to a team that gets zero points from a non-injured starter a penalty is in order, but you didn't make the ruling. Instead, you doubled up and beat MeSoHorny with two starters gettin blanked. Still think it should be a penalty but the precedent has been set. MeSoHorny falls to O-fer, and Death Panels gets to .500 with a 106 to 86 victory.
This was much closer than it looks........
Following the lead of Death Panels, Badgers scores a total of FOUR points from his wide receivers. Four points. That is pathetic. He also has the Eagles kicker and only scores 5 points out of the 35 scored, because the Lions defense couldn't stop the Eagles long enough to make them kick a field goal! BloodyPulp overachieved with his no-name players. Take Moss and Smith out of BloodyPulps team and you don't have much left, so scoring over 100 points is pretty good. But Badgers had Les Schaub as his QB and he made up for last weeks disappointing performance with 36 points. He also had another solid game from that racist Aryan Foster - sorry, Arian, benefited from Jackson being the starter with Ryan out for the Pack and got a surprisingly strong game from the Bengals defense to take this game to Monday night. With a mere two points (or so) separating Bloody from Badgers it came down to Garrett Hartley versus Frank Gore. I thought that the Saints were going to kick the 49ers arse on Monday. I figured the 49ers had to suck bad after getting killed by the Hawks. I felt that even more after the Hawks got dismantled by the Broncos. If New Orleans gets a big lead that should take Gore out of the game right? Nope - instead Gore does the butt kickin and scores 29 points, which leads to a comfortable win for Badgers. Think of it as a moral victory Bloodypulp. Badgers gets to 1-1 and Bloody goes to the cellar with a 121 to 104 victory.
As they say on Broadway - Break a leg, but first.................
Score a touch down. Ouch. That was rude - even uncalled for. Even for Squiggy. But football is that kinda game. Red Dragons had strong games from Rivers, Miles (By God, I AM - Miles Austin) Austin and Knowshon. Even with a mere 3 points from the overall number ONE pick Chris Johnson, Dragons had a slim lead going into Monday nights game. Dragons was just shy of 100 points, which I said Thrombic Acid would not see again this season. But then I retracted that. Glad I did because a couple of miraculous things happened for Thrombic Acid, one of which I would have bet my first born I would not see - a roster change. Thats right boys and girls (and Bingo), Thrombic Acid made a ROSTER change. Not only that - he dropped a player, yep DROPPED A PLAYER (actually a defense) and added a player. Then remembered to start his new defense! The only thing that would shock me more is if the Dems and our Prez came out and endorsed Tax cuts and spending cuts - but lets not push it. The other miracle was the play of Jay Cutler against a pretty stout Cowboy defense. Cutler scored almost 30 points and led the Bears to the victory - watch out for Chicago if they have a QB who can play. Along with Cutler - Dallas Clark (best player on Thrombics team) and some guy named Thomas for the Broncos scored well for Acid and all he needed was 5 points from the combo of Meachem and Bush on Monday night to win. The bad thing about having players on the Saints offense is they have so much offense, so many players who can score, and the problem for Acid is Meachem and Bush are number 4 and 5 on the list of guys who score. To prove the point Meachem couldn't muster a single point on Monday. Didn't matter in the end because Reggie (still the only FORMER Heisman trophy winner) scored the first touchdown of the game and that was enough to push Acid to the victory. Then he broke his leg. Time for another roster mover Thrombic, and now we all know you know how to do it. I feel bad for Reggie - but he will be back before the season is over. Thrombic Acid stays undefeated while Red Dragons drops to mid pack at 1-1 with a 104 to 99 win.
The toilet bowl game, but still a squeaker..........
Kind of a bad week for Squiggy. My Beavers win, but the defense looks bad against a middlin Louisville team. The Lions get the onside kick and look like a lock for a OT - and throw four straight in completes to end the game. I take the Colts in the 4th Quarter and give up 1/2 a point for 10 bucks and then Choice fumbles while running out the clock and Eli throws a garbage time TD, so I lose. I have $20 on the Saints giving six points and they have an eight point lead against SF - with no time outs and the whole field to go - and give up a TD. My wife decides I have a gambling problem - but I bet her twenty bucks I won't gamble this weekend, so we are cool there. Anyway, only one really good thing happened this weekend regarding football, OldSkoolers actually bought into Vince Young and started him. He could have started McNab. If BoofLicks starting Ryan over Brady was the equivalent of hitting a grand slam, then OldSkoolers starting Young over McNab is the equivalent of getting a shard of a wood stuck in your chest after breaking your bat. Young got MINUS 2 points. But even that wasn't enough to insure a victory for MacAttack. Even with Manning, Addai and Collie scoring 48 points on Sunday afternoon I was still vulnerable to defeat because OldSkoolers still had the Saint defense playing on Monday night. The New Orleans defense may give up points, but they score them in buckets also. No defense scored more points than the Saints last year. And it came down to the bitter end of the game because of 4 turnovers and a safety. All Skoolers needed was a sack and an interception returned for a TD on the 49ers last drive to pull out the win. Would have won me 20 bucks, but lost me the game in the 666 league. I left a lot of points on the bench but I still kind of feel embarrassed winning this one. I'll get over it soon enough. MacAttack stays undefeated and Oldskoolers joins the six team group at 1-1 with a 73 to 62 ugly win.
One more week before the byes start. Check out your team and make sure you have plans for when your Studs are sitting it out. Check the injury report. Check the waiver wire. Check the police blotter. As BoofLicks and OldSkooler and even Thrombic Acid proved this weekend, how you manage your bench can be the difference between winning and losing.
Squiggy
And the Bitch Slap is............
The best QB in football - gotta be Manning eh? The best running back in futbal - gotta be Chris Johnson right? Nope. Based on this week the best QB is Michael (my favorite place is the Humane society) Vick, and Jahvid (the Beavs knocked me silly last year) Best. Vick exploded this weekend against my poor Lions. Best followed up last weeks tremendous debut with an even better game and led Detroit to another ALMOST unbelievable comeback win. Couple those two with a solid game from Peterson (but if you can't score on four shots from the five are you REALLY that good?) and you have this weeks Bitch Slap. Hemorrhoids moves to 1-1 on the back of those performances and Ballblokes falls near the cellar. Blokes also scored in the Lions/Eagles game with DeSean Jackson, but nobody else on his team could back him up with points, even with the gift TD that Eli got at the end of the game. This really wasn't that bad of an ass whoopin, but a Bitch Slap it is none the less. Back to Cobb next week Rhoids???? Final score - Hemorrhoids 126 over Ballblokes 82.
Boof Wins, Boof Wins, Damn it all Boof WINS..........
This was going to be a close game in my book, and I actually thought Morning Missles had the slight advantage. Figured that Dallas and Romo had to play better than last week and that MJD would gash the LA (I mean Jacksonville) Jags. Romo did OK for a loser, but MJD did not live up to a #1 draft picks expectation. And to top it off, Boof did the improbable. Sure, he got lucky with a Manningham TD, and Jacoby Jones was better than expected in the Houston comeback win, but what won the day for Boof Licks was the manager. How many of you losers without a QB would have even dreamed of sitting Tom Brady down. I mean - Tom Brady. The best looking, best dressed, best chicked QB in football. Tom Brady is Joe Namath on steroids. By all accounts the gals that Tiger "dated" came from Brady's B list. On top of it all, Brady was talkin smack about the Jets. He hates the Jets. Him and Moss were gonna put a whoopin on the J....E...T...S, Jets, Jets Jets! And they did. For one drive. But Boof man KNEW that would happen. He figured that Matt Ryan would do the whoopin on the Arizona D. I think he let his wife make his roster for him this week, which is a good thing for Boof Licks, because it was Matt's 26 points that proved the difference in this game. Marks whole team did well, and Missles was let down by MJD and the pathetic Giants performance, but starting Ryan over Brady was brilliant. Final Score - Boof Licks 118 over Mighty Missles 94 vaults Boof to the league lead.
This should REALLY be the Bitch Slap of the week......
Drew Brees gets 23 points for Horny. Andre Johnson comes back from the locker room to make an incredible last second TD catch and gets 22 points for Horny (by the way - don't you think IV fluids, pain killers and BJ's in the locker room are PERFORMANCE enhancing???). MeSoHorny should win this easy after that right? Wait, it gets even better. Our dear Commish, Death Panels, gets a big goose egg from Aromashodu (which I thought was some kind of suishi), another big goose egg from TJ Houshmanzadeh (I love TJ, but his last name sounds like a brand of saki) and a grand total of ONE point from the old man FAVra. If you give Brett a one point penalty for lack of skill, you end up with enough goose eggs for a pretty nice goose egg omlete Commish. This should have been the most one sided game of the week, and it almost was. But Death Panels has connections the rest of us don't have. Sushi gets zero - McCoy gets 31, Saki gets zero - Gates goes for 18, FAVra gets 1 point - Clinton Portis gets 15. Add a dash of Roddy White, Rice and the Packers Defense all in double digits and you get an omelet of ass whoopin. I told you last week Commish, that if someone loses to a team that gets zero points from a non-injured starter a penalty is in order, but you didn't make the ruling. Instead, you doubled up and beat MeSoHorny with two starters gettin blanked. Still think it should be a penalty but the precedent has been set. MeSoHorny falls to O-fer, and Death Panels gets to .500 with a 106 to 86 victory.
This was much closer than it looks........
Following the lead of Death Panels, Badgers scores a total of FOUR points from his wide receivers. Four points. That is pathetic. He also has the Eagles kicker and only scores 5 points out of the 35 scored, because the Lions defense couldn't stop the Eagles long enough to make them kick a field goal! BloodyPulp overachieved with his no-name players. Take Moss and Smith out of BloodyPulps team and you don't have much left, so scoring over 100 points is pretty good. But Badgers had Les Schaub as his QB and he made up for last weeks disappointing performance with 36 points. He also had another solid game from that racist Aryan Foster - sorry, Arian, benefited from Jackson being the starter with Ryan out for the Pack and got a surprisingly strong game from the Bengals defense to take this game to Monday night. With a mere two points (or so) separating Bloody from Badgers it came down to Garrett Hartley versus Frank Gore. I thought that the Saints were going to kick the 49ers arse on Monday. I figured the 49ers had to suck bad after getting killed by the Hawks. I felt that even more after the Hawks got dismantled by the Broncos. If New Orleans gets a big lead that should take Gore out of the game right? Nope - instead Gore does the butt kickin and scores 29 points, which leads to a comfortable win for Badgers. Think of it as a moral victory Bloodypulp. Badgers gets to 1-1 and Bloody goes to the cellar with a 121 to 104 victory.
As they say on Broadway - Break a leg, but first.................
Score a touch down. Ouch. That was rude - even uncalled for. Even for Squiggy. But football is that kinda game. Red Dragons had strong games from Rivers, Miles (By God, I AM - Miles Austin) Austin and Knowshon. Even with a mere 3 points from the overall number ONE pick Chris Johnson, Dragons had a slim lead going into Monday nights game. Dragons was just shy of 100 points, which I said Thrombic Acid would not see again this season. But then I retracted that. Glad I did because a couple of miraculous things happened for Thrombic Acid, one of which I would have bet my first born I would not see - a roster change. Thats right boys and girls (and Bingo), Thrombic Acid made a ROSTER change. Not only that - he dropped a player, yep DROPPED A PLAYER (actually a defense) and added a player. Then remembered to start his new defense! The only thing that would shock me more is if the Dems and our Prez came out and endorsed Tax cuts and spending cuts - but lets not push it. The other miracle was the play of Jay Cutler against a pretty stout Cowboy defense. Cutler scored almost 30 points and led the Bears to the victory - watch out for Chicago if they have a QB who can play. Along with Cutler - Dallas Clark (best player on Thrombics team) and some guy named Thomas for the Broncos scored well for Acid and all he needed was 5 points from the combo of Meachem and Bush on Monday night to win. The bad thing about having players on the Saints offense is they have so much offense, so many players who can score, and the problem for Acid is Meachem and Bush are number 4 and 5 on the list of guys who score. To prove the point Meachem couldn't muster a single point on Monday. Didn't matter in the end because Reggie (still the only FORMER Heisman trophy winner) scored the first touchdown of the game and that was enough to push Acid to the victory. Then he broke his leg. Time for another roster mover Thrombic, and now we all know you know how to do it. I feel bad for Reggie - but he will be back before the season is over. Thrombic Acid stays undefeated while Red Dragons drops to mid pack at 1-1 with a 104 to 99 win.
The toilet bowl game, but still a squeaker..........
Kind of a bad week for Squiggy. My Beavers win, but the defense looks bad against a middlin Louisville team. The Lions get the onside kick and look like a lock for a OT - and throw four straight in completes to end the game. I take the Colts in the 4th Quarter and give up 1/2 a point for 10 bucks and then Choice fumbles while running out the clock and Eli throws a garbage time TD, so I lose. I have $20 on the Saints giving six points and they have an eight point lead against SF - with no time outs and the whole field to go - and give up a TD. My wife decides I have a gambling problem - but I bet her twenty bucks I won't gamble this weekend, so we are cool there. Anyway, only one really good thing happened this weekend regarding football, OldSkoolers actually bought into Vince Young and started him. He could have started McNab. If BoofLicks starting Ryan over Brady was the equivalent of hitting a grand slam, then OldSkoolers starting Young over McNab is the equivalent of getting a shard of a wood stuck in your chest after breaking your bat. Young got MINUS 2 points. But even that wasn't enough to insure a victory for MacAttack. Even with Manning, Addai and Collie scoring 48 points on Sunday afternoon I was still vulnerable to defeat because OldSkoolers still had the Saint defense playing on Monday night. The New Orleans defense may give up points, but they score them in buckets also. No defense scored more points than the Saints last year. And it came down to the bitter end of the game because of 4 turnovers and a safety. All Skoolers needed was a sack and an interception returned for a TD on the 49ers last drive to pull out the win. Would have won me 20 bucks, but lost me the game in the 666 league. I left a lot of points on the bench but I still kind of feel embarrassed winning this one. I'll get over it soon enough. MacAttack stays undefeated and Oldskoolers joins the six team group at 1-1 with a 73 to 62 ugly win.
One more week before the byes start. Check out your team and make sure you have plans for when your Studs are sitting it out. Check the injury report. Check the waiver wire. Check the police blotter. As BoofLicks and OldSkooler and even Thrombic Acid proved this weekend, how you manage your bench can be the difference between winning and losing.
Squiggy
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